


Stardust chocolate

by Sparkling_Archangel



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom, Spacedogs - Fandom
Genre: Asperger Syndrome, Asperger character, Fluff, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mention of alcohol, Rare Pairings, Romantic Fluff, Swearing, mention of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:40:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparkling_Archangel/pseuds/Sparkling_Archangel
Summary: Nigel had to run away and is now hiding in the US, with Darko’s help. A discrete day job for a few months before going back into the business, just to be sure nobody will try to find him here. It sounded good at first. What Darko hadn’t told him is that he would have to work as a barista with one of his American cousin.Pushed by Beth and her friends, one day, Adam comes into the cafe where Nigel is working.(Basically just fluff and slowly built romantic relationship)
Relationships: Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Adam Raki
Comments: 178
Kudos: 213





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Nigel swears a lot, because he is Nigel. His boss is rude and insults him.
> 
> I like this pairing a lot and wanted to try to write a little something based on it. Just two persons meeting and potentially falling in love in the next chapters. 
> 
> English is not my native language but this work is currently being beta-read! Six first chapters have been updated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Nigel swears a lot, because he is Nigel. His boss is rude and insults him.
> 
> I like this pairing a lot and wanted to try to write a little something based on it. Just two persons meeting and potentially falling in love in the next chapters.
> 
> Beta-read by the amazing myauzo!

“Just a few months in a discrete day job and then you’ll be forgotten enough to come back into the business. Just let people forget you, and come back stronger than ever.”

That was the last thing Darko had said to Nigel before sending him to the US to expand his network. Nigel didn’t have any choice. He had practically been killed by this damn cop after Gabi left him, and without Darko he would be dead now. So, he had said yes.   
Leaving Bucharest for the United States, leaving his whole life behind him, and re-starting at zero here... that was ok. Being discrete was ok as well. Having a day job... well, at this point, he maybe should have started to be suspicious. But after all, it was a good way to be forgotten as Nigel-the-big-bad-one, right? 

What Darko hadn’t told him was that this day job waiting for him in the US was being a barista in one of those fancy places where people pay 10 bucks for a coffee with a ridiculously complicated title and their name written on the cup. The place was owned by a cousin of Darko or something, Nigel didn’t really pay attention to that part.

It’s been three months already. 

All he had was a crappy appartment, a half time job as a barista where the cousin or something was yelling at him all the time (not his fault if the coffees on the menu had fucking long and complicated names for nothing), and the total impossibility to contact Darko to insult him a little bit. 

“Just a few months and I’ll come back to you. I’ll know where to contact you. Just be patient”. Fucking. Bullshit. 

“Nigel!” Yelled cousin-whatever. “I’m going to fire you!”

Nigel rolled his eyes, smoked the last bit of his cigarette and came back inside the coffee shop. It was empty, not a single client for now. He could have smoked a second one, nobody would have noticed. The cousin was so happy to have this power on Nigel that he was using every single fucking occasion to yell at him, just for that little feeling of power over the Big Bad One. While knowing perfectly well that Nigel couldn’t do anything. 

Absolute discretion. No job hunting. No cops after having killed that guy. Nothing. 

“I’ll be fucking happy when I’ll leave this fucking place and burn it to the fucking ground.” Nigel mumbled. 

“What did you say?” Darko’s cousin asked, slouching far away on one of the sofas. “Couldn’t hear that.”

“Just said I was happy to work here, boss.” Nigel hissed through clenched teeth.

“Not very convincing. Remember to clean the toilets.”

“Already done, and nobody came in since. It’s too early in the morning.”

“Do it again then.”

Nigel sweared and slammed the bathroom door behind him. At least, he didn’t have to see his face from here. The cousin was actually never working, only relying on underpaid students and “very underpaid and overworked but stuck here”-Nigel. So, he would not come in here. 

Nigel sat on the sink and lit a new cigarette. He could have worked anywhere else, but Darko had insisted a lot on this. And as he had a fake ID, a fake Visa and more or less fake everything, he couldn’t take the risk to go somewhere else. And the cousin knew that perfectly. Money was not a problem, he had plenty of it on various accounts. All blocked by Darko for security, and for at least six months. Discretion really sucked.

He hated everything here. The job, the cousin, the clients. Always in a rush, talking to him like he was less than an animal and tipping very badly. And it was always noisy, except of course early in the morning like now, where nobody had arrived yet. But it wouldn’t last. Nigel didn’t mind the noise in clubs and in the streets. But the noise of dozens of people chatting loudly and feeling interesting because they had a complicated coffee in their hand, that was fucking boring. 

A light ringing caught his attention. Middle of the morning, first client of the day. He finished his cigarette, leaving behind him the smell of tobacco mixed with cleaning supplies, and came back in the shop, trying not to sigh too loudly. 

* *

The first time Adam came to Stardust Cafe, it was because Beth had asked him to. She had insisted a lot, saying it was a place where people liked to meet and chat, that it was trendy, and that they had coffees he had never tried. Adam had explained that he was never drinking coffee and that he didn’t like to try new things, but she had insisted.

“I’m sure you’ll have fun!” Beth had told him. “I’ll be there with some friends this afternoon, and I expect you to come.”

Adam liked Beth. As a friend. He had perfectly understood that he couldn’t expect a romantic life with her, that it wasn’t for people like him. But he liked her and coming to this place with her friends seemed to make her happy. So, he was in front of the door precisely three minutes before the hour she had told him. He could see her inside, sitting at a long table with other people. They were laughing. Maybe he should have come inside immediately? He wasn’t sure. She had told him 3pm precisely and there were still two minutes left. Maybe she wanted to speak with them while he was not here. At least, he liked the name of the shop.

At 3pm, Adam pushed open the door of the cafe and knew immediately he was going to hate the place. The noise was everywhere, spilling from dozens of people chatting loudly in small or larger groups, from the radio blasting trendy music, from the screams of a guy, to the staff members working behind the countertop. The smell was terrible as well: coffee, caramel, tea, sugar, sweet and savory food being reheated, and also the strong smells of at least three persons’ perfumes. Even the lights were bad, too strong, too flashy. 

To finish this awful first impression, someone hustled him against the nearest fake plant because he “was in the way.”

Well, Beth had told him to come, right? Not to stay. Adam started to leave, he could tell her later that he came but couldn’t stay, she would probably understand. 

“Adam, you’re here!” Yelled Beth from her seat. “See?”, she said to her friends, “I told you he would come!”

Adam awkwardly waved his hand at her and began to return to the door.

“Come sit with us, Adam! Order something and come, I kept you a seat.”

Adam sighed loudly. She had kept him a seat, how could he refuse now? She joined him in the small queue in front of the countertop. 

“I’m very happy you came,” Beth told him with a smile. “I love this place, and I’m sure you will like it too.”

“It’s too noisy, there are too many people, the smell is bad, and there is too much light.” he said quickly. 

“Noisy? Not really... it’s not a club or something. Just people chatting and some music. Have a look at their menu! My favorite is this special coffee they have, it’s a recipe with caramel.”

“I don’t drink coffee.”

“Really? It doesn’t have a lot of caffeine if that’s the problem. Okay, we’ll find you something else. Tea maybe? I know you like tea.”

“I like tea but I don’t know these ones.”

“And you don’t want to try?”

“No.” He sighed, observing carefully the queue that was moving slowly, getting them closer and closer to the countertop where he would have to place his order, like a dangerous deadline.

“You sure? I know you don’t like to try new things but it’s just tea and...”

“I can’t be sure I will like it. So, no. I could sit with you without a drink” he offered.

“But it’s part of the experience!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll have... um... the Stardust Chocolate. I like the name.”

“But Adam, it’s a childish drink.”

“It’s not written.”

“The menu says it comes with sugar sparkles that are shaped like stars. It’s for kids.”

“It’s chocolate. Chocolate is not reserved to kids.”

“But Adam...” Beth protested.

“The guy’s right,” Rumbled a voice behind the countertop, “Let him have whatever he wants. What’s the fucking problem?Stardust Chocolate it is. Yeah? Okay, good. And what’s your name?”

“Adam. And I see you’re Nigel” Adam said, looking at the card pinned on Nigel’s shirt. “Hello Nigel.”

“Hello Adam” Nigel smiled. This one was nice. Nobody payed attention to the staff here. “Go over there, they’ll call you when your order is ready.”

Adam nodded and went where he had been told to go. 

“He wanted to know your name to write it on your cup, so another staff member could call you. Not for you to say hello.” Beth explained a bit condescendingly, rolling her eyes..

“He asked for my name and I read his on his nametag. It would have been impolite to not say hello.”

“Maybe” Beth laughed. “But I promise he didn’t care at all.”

Adam’s chocolate arrived quickly after, handed to him by another staff member, and Beth dragged him to the table. Her friends greeted him and he ended sitting between an unknown person and the wall, totally stuck, without being able to move. Adam sighed again, hoping they wouldn't stay for too long. At least, the sugar stars on his chocolate were cute and it was quite good. 

“That’s really bad luck to get Nigel as your barista for your first visit here.” Said Beth. “I’m sorry, I should have told you to come on a day he would work somewhere else in the shop.”

“He was nice, I think” Adam said with hesitation. “Even if he swore. And the chocolate is good.”

“He’s been here for a few months, and I don’t understand why the boss keeps him. I really don’t like him and I’m not the only one.” Beth sighed. 

“He swears all the time, he mixes up orders because he doesn’t want to learn the menu, and he says the drinks titles are too complicated.” One of Beth’s friends added.

“And his handwriting is messy.” Finished Beth. “The boss often makes fun of him for that.”

“He doesn’t need to have a beautiful handwriting to serve hot drinks.” Adam said, frowning and trying to understand. It was rude to make fun of someone, especially for something like this. Adam knew a lot about being made fun of and he was sincerely sorry for this guy. 

“No, but when he writes names on the cups, it’s never beautiful.”

“My name is readable enough.” Adam said after checking his cup. 

“Readable yes, but not beautiful. Post on the web a picture of a coffee prepared by Nigel and see how many likes you’ll get. Spoiler: not a lot.” Continued another friend of Beth’s. Adam didn’t remember her name either and couldn’t read it on her cup from his seat. 

“Why would I post a picture of a coffee on the web?” He asked. He knew it was a trend but he had never really got it. Maybe today was the day where he would finally understand, but she frowned and stared at him instead of explaining.

“Adam is not really into that kind of thing.” Beth explained. “He is a nerd. Kinda.”

Was it worth it to explain that Asperger's syndrome was more than just being a nerd? No, probably not. They didn’t and wouldn't care. Instead, Adam nodded and went back to his chocolate without a word. 

The conversation between Beth and her friends continued, and Adam didn’t listen to a single word. He tried, but it was so noisy in here that it required an extraordinary amount of effort. Not worth it.

He tried to focus, brushing his sweaty palms on his pants, trying to calm down. His anxiety was starting to get really high in this environment. And he had by mistake put chocolate on his jacket, surprised at first by how hot it was. He hated having dirty clothes, and he couldn’t do anything to clean it now. Another noisy group came in. Adam watched them ordering one by one, very complicated things that weren’t on the menu, asking to add this and to remove that while Nigel was taking notes and mumbling things Adam couldn’t hear. 

A couple minutes later, the boss yelled at Nigel that he was stupid and useless and pushed him away from the counterpart to have another staff member preparing the order. The noisy group and a large part of the clients cheered and the older man blushed, swore and stormed out, looking so angry that he almost scared Adam, even if his anger was not aimed toward him. He looked like he was ready to break everyone to pieces, his boss and all the ones who laughed at him. He also looked like he was perfectly able to do just that.

“Why do they cheer?” Adam asked Beth. “Because the boss insulted him?”

“Yes” She answered, a little bit embarrassed because she knew Adam wouldn’t like that. “Nigel is rude to clients and he mixes up orders all the time.”

“So his boss publicly mocks him. And people think it’s fun.”

“It is funny”, said one of Beth’s friends. “Seeing this tall and tattooed guy, older than most of the clients, strong and looking like he could kill someone, who fails even basic orders and is rude to everybody, being put in his place by his boss is funny.”

“It’s rude to make fun of someone. He didn’t fail my order and he wasn’t rude to me.”

“He doesn’t fail every order but he clearly makes very little effort to understand complicated ones.”

“I would have a hard time not failing orders myself if people were rude tome and yelling and rushing all the time.” Adam said. He was starting to get angry. Beth liked these people, but he didn’t. That, plus the noise and light and everything... it was starting to really be too much for him.

“He is just an asshole and nobody likes him.” Beth concludes. “Don’t pay attention to him.”

Adam nodded, not convinced.

“We should get other drinks while he is outside.” Suggested someone.

“Very good idea!” Beth said with a large smile. “Adam, are you coming? I see you’ve finished your chocolate.”

“No, I’m not coming. I’m leaving this place.”

“Is it because people cheered when the boss yelled at that guy? Don’t worry Adam, he is outside, sulking somewhere. You won’t see him again.”

“Nobody is nice to him and I don’t like this place and I want to go home. You said you would come home with me.”

“Yes, but later. You’ve only been here for a half an hour! We are going to stay for a little longer and then I’ll walk back home with you.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed, exasperated. “An hour or two, I don’t know. I’m having fun here, I want to stay.”

“But I don’t. And you said you would come home with me.”

“You can go home alone and...”

“Yes, I can, but I don’t like to change my plans and you said...” Adam started to panic, rubbing his hands on his clothes faster and faster.

“Hey, leave her alone, would you?” Said one of Beth’s friends. “She had told us you were a little bit weird, but in fact you’re a total weirdo. She is having fun with her friends, like a normal person. Not like you, it seems.”

“I’m normal, I’m just...”

“Going to cry? Yeah that’s visible.” Her friend smirked meanly.

“I’m normal, I’m just...” Adam mumbled again. 

“Adam, go home.” Beth said. “You’re starting to have a meltdown.”

“Come with me. Please.” He asked, even looking at her in the eyes for a second, knowing it was something people do. She had told him several times it was polite to do so, and she would maybe appreciate his effort. Having a meltdown was hard, but it was easier if she was here to help him. 

“No, change your plans. I’m not going to babysit you. I’m not mad at you, but it’s too much, I just want to enjoy this with my friends. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She joined her friends in the queue, leaving Adam shaking and pressing his hands on his face in the middle of the cafe. “Good thing you dropped that weird grown-up kiddo.” Adam heard. He was not a kid, he was just... it was just too much. Noise, light, smell, rude people, crowd, illogical things, mockeries. He managed to rush outside of the cafe before dropping on the floor, still pressing his hands to his face and half crying in his panic. 

“The fuck are you doing here? That’s the employees’ door.” 

Adam didn’t answer, didn’t even hear. He stayed on the cold floor, trying to calm down, trying to stop the violent shakes of his whole body. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” said the same voice again, closer this time. “You don’t seem well.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“I won’t. Just wondering if I could do something to help.”

“Not really. It will pass.”

“Your friends are bastards” Nigel commented. “Leaving you alone with the bad barista behind the shop instead of helping you.”

“I’m bothering them. And only Beth is my friend. I’m always bothering people.”

“Well, she is a bastard then. For not helping. I saw you from here, struggling in the middle of the shop. She should have helped.”

“It’s fine. I know I’m a burden.”

Nigel didn’t answer to that, but as Adam seemed to start to calm down as he was talking, he continued to talk, telling him about a dog that was walking in the street a few meters away from them, describing the clouds and saying it would probably start to rain soon. 

“You better?” Nigel asked after a while.

“Yes. Yes I think I am. Thank you. I usually manage to avoid being like this in public but... the shop, all these people who were rude with you, and then Beth... it was too much for me. I knew I shouldn’t have come here. This kind of place is not something I enjoy.”

“Why did you come here then, if you don’t like it?”

“Beth asked me to come. She insisted a lot. She likes to make me come outside of my comfort zone. I hate that.”

“Then why do you do it?” Nigel asked, curious.

“I like Beth, and she is my friend, even if she will never be my girlfriend. So I listen to her. She knows better than me for all the social things. But I hate this place. I should have known better and said no.”

“I hate this place too.” Nigel smiled. 

“Why are you staying then?”

“No other choice for now. I don’t know how long it will last. Not too long I hope.” Nigel sighed. He should probably get back inside now, or his boss would yell again. But he was fine here, smoking outside and talking with this Adam guy.

“No.” Adam refused when Nigel offered him a cigarette. “It’s dangerous. You shouldn’t smoke.”

“I know.”

“You could die.”

“I already did. Cigarettes are not dangerous compared to other things.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s not important. Nevermind. It was in my previous life.”

“Why is your boss insulting you? And why do people think it’s fun?”

“He doesn’t like me. I fucking hate him. And people think it’s fun to see this young man with his accountant look making fun of an old bad guy like me.”

“You’re not bad” Adam affirmed, frowning. “You helped me.”

“I’m a bad person. I always have been.”

“In your previous life? The one where you say you died?”

“Yeah.”

“So you could restart your life as a good guy now.”

“I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean by bad?” Adam asked, suddenly nervous.

“You don’t want to know. Don’t ask that again.”

“I think you’re not bad.”

“You don’t know me.”

“You helped me, you didn’t make fun of me when I started to have a meltdown. It’s enough for me.”

The screams of Nigel’s boss stopped their chat. 

“Fucking prick” Nigel spat. “I have to go back.”

“I really don’t understand why you’re staying with someone who treats you like this.”

“It’s complicated. Nice to have met you Adam. Don’t wait here for your friends. They are not worthy of you waiting. Hope to see you again.”

“I hate this place. I highly doubt I’ll come back.” Adam answered, honest as usual. “But I don’t hate you. Maybe I’ll try.”

Nigel laughed and stood up after crushing what was left of his cigarette.  
“You’re a strange guy Adam, I like that. See you then. Maybe.”

Adam stayed in the street while Nigel returned inside the shop slowly. The second he opened the door, Adam heard his boss yelling again. What a discourteous man. Adam hated the noise, and hated when people were yelling. 

Beth and her friends were still inside, but Nigel had said to not wait for them. And Beth had said he had to get home. And Nigel had said it was going to rain. Adam stood up and started to walk back to his apartment. He would have preferred going back home with her. He had seen a very interesting documentary about the latest discoveries about Mars the day before, and none of his coworkers had let him talk about it. He had been hoping Beth would have listened. 

Maybe Nigel would have listened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth apologizes for her friends’ behavior and Adam tells her he wants to meet Nigel again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments on the first chapter of this story! I’m so so glad and grateful. 
> 
> English is still not my native language but this chapter has been beta-read by the amazing myauzo :)
> 
> Nigel swears again. Brief mention of violence

The next day, Beth came to Adam’s apartment and let him talk for a while about Mars and the awesome documentary. 

“I’m sorry if my friends were a little bit rude with you” She apologized. “We were just having a good time and I didn’t want it to end. I’m sure they still like you.”

“I don’t really like them.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say.”

“They are not very nice either.”

“I’m sure you’ll learn to like them. We will go back to this cafe in a couple days, will you come with us? It will be on a less crowded day, it should be more enjoyable for you.”

“I hated that place but I’d like to talk with Nigel again. Maybe I’ll come back. But alone. Or just with you, not with them. I heard the boss saying that early in the morning, it was generally empty. We should go at this moment.”

“Why would you want to talk with that guy?” She asked, clearly surprised. “He is not nice, he is rude with the clients, he fails his drinks orders, and half of the time he smells like cheap alcohol.”

“He was nice with me. When I left the cafe.” Adam explained. “I was not feeling good, and he didn’t make fun of me for panicking. He stayed, and then we chatted a little bit. Maybe he fails his orders because his boss is pressuring him. Or maybe because English is not his native language.”

“How do you know it’s not his native language? I didn’t know. He told you?”

“No, but I talked with him and he has a strong accent. I don’t know where it is from. You couldn’t know, because he only says a couple words to the clients, he doesn’t really chat. Or maybe you didn’t pay attention to him.”

“Of course I don’t pay attention to him. He is a failure. And an asshole. Nobody likes him, as I told you. Not even his coworkers. ”

“Why do you think he is a failure?”

“This shop usually employs only part time students, or other young people starting their professional life. Especially with the university not very far away. He must be what... fifty maybe? He must have failed somewhere to end up there at his age. And to not even be able to do this job correctly.”

“He told me he didn’t have another choice than this job.”

“He is a weird guy... you shouldn’t talk with him again.”

\- -

A couple days later, Adam was back in front of the cafe, alone. He had refused to go back with Beth and her friends. It was very early and the place was empty, he could see that from outside. He checked his watch. Still an hour left before he had to go to work. 

The ringing of the bell made Nigel sigh heavily. It was fucking early, and people were already coming to annoy him. The other employees weren't even here yet. He got up from behind the countertop where he was sitting on the floor and smiled, pleasantly surprised, when he recognized Adam. 

“Hey, Adam. Nice to see you. I didn’t think you would come back.”

“It’s fine at this hour, there is nobody around. I didn’t want to come back with Beth and her friends.”

“Understandable.”

Adam ordered the same chocolate as the previous time and sat with Nigel at one of the tables close to the countertop, just in case another client came in. 

“Is it fine with your boss if we talk?” Adam asked. 

“He is not here yet. It’s fine.” Nigel shrugged.

“Good. I don’t want you to have trouble with him. Even if you seem to always have trouble with him.”

“That’s not wrong. But talking with you or not won’t change that.”

“Beth said I shouldn’t talk with you because you’re a failure and nobody likes you. But I don’t agree with her.” Adam explained. 

“Thank you, I guess.” Nigel laughed darkly. “But she is not totally wrong, you know. Damn, I can’t wait to leave this fucking place and go back to a normal life.”

“A life like the one you had before as a bad guy but can’t say anything about? It doesn’t sound like a normal life.” 

“Normal for me. Maybe not normal for everybody. I just want to leave this place, leave the crappy studio Darko got for me and start to live again.”

“Who is Darko?”

“A friend. Kinda. A business partner. The boss here is his cousin, that’s how he got me the job and a place to sleep.”

“You said Beth was not a good friend, but Darko doesn’t seem to be a good friend either. Why do you have a splitted lip and a black eye?” Adam suddenly asked, going from one topic to another without any transition like he often did.

“I fell down the stairs yesterday.” Nigel lied. For an unknown reason, he didn’t like lying to Adam. Maybe just because the guy was actually nice to him. But there was no fucking way he would admit that cousin-whatever had punched him in the face for  _ fun _ , just because he knew Nigel couldn’t take the risk to say anything. 

_ “And what will you do?” He had said. “Go to the police? They would be very happy to see you. Kill me? I have a dozen guys who are waiting to kill the  _ famous  _ Nigel. You gonna complain to Darko like a stupid kid? I hope you’re a little bit stronger than that. So shut the hell up. I was angry, and that was a great way to relax.”  _

So Nigel had shut up. Didn’t kill the guy, didn’t say anything. The second Nigel was able to leave this place, he would make him regret that a hundred times. If only Darko would finally call him...

“You should be more careful, stairs can be dangerous” Adam answered, totally believing the explanation.

“I’ll try. What is your book about?” He asked, pointing to the big book that was hanging out of Adam’s bag.

“It’s about nebulae” Adam answered, very excited. “It’s about the theories of an astrophysicist who...”

Adam talked enthusiastically for a long time, comparing this book to another he had read not long ago and describing the content with a lot of details. Nigel listened to him with a little smile, not saying anything. After a while, Adam stopped and apologized.

“I’m sorry, I talk too much. Beth told me to stop doing that.”

“She is really... ugh. Nevermind. You  _ don’t  _ talk too much. Continue, it’s interesting.”

“Really? I know I bother people when I talk too much.”

“You’re not bothering me. Go on. I don’t understand everything but it’s fine.”

Adam happily continued to talk, glad to have someone who was listening to him without being annoyed. Sadly, time flies quickly, and soon it was time for him to leave for work. 

“I’m going to leave now. I need exactly seven minutes to walk to my office and I’m starting in fifteen minutes. I’m always there early, just in case.”

“What kind of job is it, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m an electronic engineer for a toy making company.”

“Engineer  _ and  _ space lover” Nigel whistled, impressed. “You’re like ten times smarter than me.”

“Smartness is not calculated that way and...”

“Just an expression. Nevermind.”

“Ah. Sorry. I often don’t understand those. I have this thing called Asperger's syndrome. Among other things, it means that I’m not really good at understanding people’s intentions, and non-explicit expressions or attitudes.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not a problem. You should go, or you’re going to be late.”

Adam said goodbye and promised to come back another day before quickly leaving the place. Being late was something he clearly didn’t want, even if he would have loved to stay to talk with Nigel. 

\- - -

Coming to the Stardust Cafe quickly started to be a routine for Adam. Twice a week, he woke up earlier than usual and spent an hour with Nigel before going to work. There were sometimes one or two clients, but never more. Cousin-whatever was not often here so early, and when he was here, Adam was drinking a chocolate he had bought, so he had nothing to say against that. Of course he sometimes made fun of Nigel for spending time speaking with a weirdo, but Nigel was used to that and wasn’t really paying attention anymore. 

“Hello Adam! It’s unusual to see you so early.” Beth said when she met him one morning in the street. “You usually leave an hour later, am I right? Do you have a problem at work?”

“Hello Beth. No, I don’t have any problems at work. I leave an hour earlier two days per week for the past three weeks.”

“A change in your routine? Are you sure there is not a problem? I’m your friend and I can help you, just tell me.” Beth pushed.

“No, no problems at all. I’m just leaving early to have the time to go to the Stardust Cafe before work.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t like that place, but I’m glad you do now.”

“I still don’t like it. I’m just going to see Nigel.”

Beth looked at him without a word for several seconds, unable to understand why  _ Adam _ , so nice and naive, was changing his beloved routine just to see this  _ mean guy _ . Was he manipulating Adam to get something from him? She carefully chose her words. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see him. He is not... nice. Not good. He could hurt you. Physically or by manipulating you. Maybe just to get money from you. Adam, you really need to be careful with that man.”

“He didn’t ask me for anything, not money or anything else. We just talk. He likes it when I talk about space!” Adam added with enthusiasm. “He really thinks it’s interesting.”

“Mh... I’m not really convinced. You never saw him getting angry at a client or failing orders and being rude to clients. And if his boss doesn’t even like him, I’m sure there is a reason.”

“I like him. Even if he swears and smells like cigarettes all the time.”

“Listen Adam, I’m happy you’re making a new friend, it’s a really good thing. But I’m worried for you, do you understand? He is not a good person.”

“I understand but there is no need to worry. He told me several times he was a bad guy. But I don’t think he really is. He is always nice to me.”

“A few friends and I have planned to go to Stardust this Saturday. You could come with us? You would see him but... I would be there. I could tell you if he is really being nice or not, as you don’t get these things easily. I don’t want to manage your life, I just want to help.”

“I understand. But Saturday is the busiest day for them.”

“We’ll find a quiet corner and won’t stay for more than two hours, promised.”

Adam hesitated for a while. He really didn’t want to go to the cafe on a Saturday, Nigel had told him it was the busiest day, and the crowd and noise and everything would be very hard for him. But Beth seemed sincerely worried about him. And... it would mean that he would see Nigel three times in a week. That last point was really interesting. And if he hesitates much longer, it would mean he would have less time at the cafe this morning. So finally, Adam promised Beth to come with her and her friends. He then quickly wished her a good day and rushed to the cafe. He had already lost several minutes of his Nigel-time. 

  
  


\- -

The Stardust Cafe was deserted as usual when Adam finally got in. Nigel was alone, mumbling swears while trying to fix a fake plant that was losing its leaves. His whole face lit up with a large smile when he saw Adam.

“Hello, Gorgeous. You’re late today, aren’t you?”

Adam hadn’t understood why Nigel called him gorgeous the first time it happened, and he had asked for an explanation. Nigel had simply answered that he was only speaking the truth and had said he could stop if it was bothering him. Adam had said it was fine, there was no harm in that and Nigel had seemed very happy when he had told him that. 

“Hello Nigel. Yes, I’m late, sorry. I left my apartment on time but I met Beth and we talked. She doesn’t like you and is worried you would hurt me, apparently.”

“I’m not a good person but...”

“You always say that and I don’t agree.”

“...but I wouldn’t hurt you. Why would I do that?” Nigel continued without stopping at Adam’s interruption. 

“Beth is my friend, I suppose it’s normal that she is worried about me.” 

“Yeah, it is. But she shouldn’t. Big Bad Nigel won’t kill you.”

They sat in silence at one of the tables. The cousin was nowhere in view so Adam ordered nothing. He actually liked the stardust chocolate but he knew Nigel didn’t like preparing the drinks, so he didn’t bother him with that.

“Beth wants me to come here with her on Saturday, with some of her friends. I said yes.”

“It’s the busiest day, you sure it will be ok for you?”

“I hope. I won’t like the noise or the crowd or the smells or her friends” Adam said, nervously, while Nigel chuckled lightly at the mention of Adam not liking Beth’s friends. “But at least I’ll get to see you one more time this week. I’ll bring you the book about planets I told you about. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure it will be fucking awesome. But... are you really sure you want to come on Saturday? You weren’t fine at all the last time. Not that I don’t want to see you one more time” Nigel added, knowing that Adam would not understand this kind of implicit thing. “I do want to see you more. But I’m worried you won’t be ok. There will be noises and smells and crowds like you said, and her stupid friends, and my shitty boss will yell as usual.”

“I don’t like it when people yell. Especially when your boss guy yells at you. He is mean. But yes, I’m sure. Beth will be reassured after that and she’ll stop saying I shouldn’t talk with you. Because I want to continue to see you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Saturday, time for Adam to go back to the Stardust Cafe with Beth, and to see Nigel for the third time this week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-read by myauzo <3
> 
> TW: mention of violence (not shown directly), mention of alcohol and, as usual, Nigel swears

Beth had said she would pick up Adam at his apartment at 3pm to walk with him to the cafe. Her friends would join them there, she had said. 

It was 2:45pm and Adam was fully ready. The book he wanted to give to Nigel was in his bag and he already had his jacket on. He sat down near the door, waiting anxiously. Of course Beth couldn’t forbid him to see Nigel, even if she was still not convinced after seeing him today. But Adam didn’t like conflicts, so he didn’t want her to think of Nigel this badly.   
And her friends. That was very stressful as well. She had told him their names, but he didn’t know them and didn’t know what to expect. Not knowing what to expect from a situation was something he really didn’t like. 

When she knocked at the door, Adam jumped to his feet and quickly walked with her to the cafe. She internally laughed a little bit at how in a hurry he seemed to be, but since her friends were already there, it was totally fine for her to get there quickly.

Beth did the presentations between Adam and the friends of hers that he hadn’t met yet, and they all got in line. As expected, the place was packed with people, and noise, and mixed smells and everything Adam didn’t like. But behind the countertop, looking as angry and fed up as ever, was Nigel. So everything was going to be fine. 

Beth ordered, then her friends did,, and finally it was Adam’s turn.

“Hello, Gorgeous. I’m afraid I can’t serve you anything today. We are out of stardust chocolate. Fucking supplier didn’t deliver some of the ingredients.”

“Hello Nigel. It’s ok, I’ll just sit with the others. I’ll drink one next week.”

“You could order another drink.” Beth said, pointing to the menu. “Just... try something else. What about this one?”

“No, I don’t want to try. But it’s fine, I can sit without drinking.”

“Or this one?”

“No, really. I...”

“You should take that one.” One of Beth’s friends suggested.

“No, I prefer...”

“Try this coffee, it’s the best one. It will be sad if you’re the only one not having anything.” Added a second one.

“No...”

Beth and three of her friends were now around Adam, trying to convince him and showing him what they thought he could like on the menu. All speaking over each other. All way too close and noisy.

“He said no.” Nigel said with a loud voice.

“How dare you...” Started Beth, immediately stopping at Nigel's death stare.

“He fucking said no. Leave him alone. Your orders are ready, take them and go sit somewhere.”

“My name is not written like this at all and you clearly forgot ingredients.” Stated one of Beth’s friends.

“Take it or leave it. I’m sure it’s better without all that shiny stupid stuff on top. Now, move. I got other fucking orders to make.”

Beth was ready to continue to argue but Adam had already left, quickly getting to a table at the second Nigel’s words had freed him from this. She sighed and joined him, followed by her friends, including the one with the failed order. 

“What an awful guy! I hope he’ll get fired soon.”

“Me too! Speaking to the clients like this, and failing my order and everything.”

Adam listened to them criticise Nigel for a while without daring to say a word. He also heard the boss yelling, as usual, but tried to not pay attention. Nigel had told him to not worry about it. 

“I’m sorry he got after you” Said the person that had the failed order to Adam. She gave Adam a fake smile and put her hand on his shoulder in a reassuring gesture, and Adam tried to get away from her touch. He didn’t know her and clearly didn’t want her to touch him. But he was stuck between her and the wall and couldn’t move.

“I don’t understand why he dared speaking for you.” Her hand was still here. “He’s a really rude man, I hope it won’t ruin your day.”

“It’s fine.” Adam said, trying to smile and get rid of her hand without looking rude.

“At least he doesn’t reek of alcohol today” She continued, still patting his shoulder.

“I don’t drink when I know he is coming. He hates the smell.” Nigel said, arriving near their table. “And remove your damn hand, Adam hates being touched by people he doesn’t know.”

“What are you doing here?” Beth asked.

“Time for my break. I can go wherever I want.” He said while sitting backward on a chair just behind Adam.

“We don’t want you at this table, you’re a...”

“I want him here,” Adam said with a strong voice. “Don’t talk to him like that, it’s rude. I don’t like it when people are rude.”

“See? Continue to talk, I only came for him. I don’t give a fuck about you all. And you remove your damn hand like I said.”

Nigel started to move to smack her hand away, and Beth’s friend finally removed her hand, to Adam’s great relief and satisfaction. He took the book out of his bag and handed it to Nigel while praising how good it was. Nigel promised to read it and to ask questions if he wasn’t able to understand everything. 

Nigel could feel the anger radiating from all the people around the table but if this was the price to talk to Adam, he was totally ready to pay it.

When Nigel left a little bit later to go back to work, Adam started to gather his stuff to leave.

“You’re already leaving?” Said Beth with disappointment in her voice. 

“Yes, I am. I only came to see him and he won’t have another break soon. I don’t see why I would stay here in the noise.”

“You could stay just to talk with us.”

“No thank you. It’s not against you, but I’d rather be home.”

“I have to admit that I’m surprised about how nice and normal he was with you.” Beth admitted. “It’s the first time I saw him just talking with someone and not insulting them. And not drinking alcohol when you’re coming so you don’t have to deal with the smell... that’s very considerate of him.”

“I told you he was nice.” Smiled Adam.

“Nice is not the word I would use for him but... He was good with you.”

\- -

Even if, to Beth’s great surprise, Nigel had been nice to Adam, they still decided to complain to the boss about his behavior, after Adam had left. Failed order again, sitting at their table, almost smacking a client’s hand, swearing... it was too much to not complain. And the boss nicely gave them free drinks to apologize. Free drinks and a free “Look at me insulting Nigel” show. 

“Some clients filed a complaint against you” The boss spat to Nigel as soon as the cafe closed in the evening. “You failed an order and refused to change it. You sat at their table to talk with someone, and you didn’t leave even when they told you they didn’t want you there. You almost hit a client!”

“Almost. Not really. Just to smack her hand away. Nothing serious.”

“You can’t do that! And all of this, that’s on top of the usual complaints! I know you’re not a barista but...”

“I’m not a fucking barista indeed and...”

“Shut the hell up when I talk!” He shouted, punching Nigel to emphasize his anger. “You’re not a barista, I’m not one either. This cafe is a very good way to hide my business. Same as Darko’s business, just here in the US. The one you’re supposed to join when you’ll be forgotten enough, remember? And you, with your stupid behavior, you’re dragging the attention on me. It’s never good for our kind of business to get too much attention.”

“Then find me another job! Call Darko, tell him I’ve been hidden for long enough! Or just let me go, I’ll hide in this stinky studio you got me until Darko decides to move his goddamn ass.”

“You’re a bad employee but you’re cheap, so I’m keeping you. I would have to hire at least three persons to cover the hours you do, as you don’t have any contract, and won’t have one. Nah, you’re stupid but not totally useless.”

“One day, I’m gonna put you, this place, and everything you like on fire. Can’t wait.”

“You won’t. That’s one of Darko’s rules and you won’t go against it.” The cousin smiled. 

Nigel swore. Fucking Darko’s rule. Don’t hurt my cousin, or you’ll never hear from me again. No more hope to go back into the business. Darko was an ass but he clearly cared for his family. Even for this cousin. That was the only reason why Nigel hadn’t killed him yet. That and of course the need to be discreet. 

“I don’t want any more problems with the clients, do you hear me? My business here is maybe not as extensive as Darko’s in Romania, but it’s still important. I can’t take the risk to lose it just because you’re having temper tantrums.”

“Stop insulting me in front of your fucking clients. Let me have a day off from time to time, I’m starting to get crazy being there seven days per week. Find me a better place to stay. Pay me more. And I’ll make an effort for your clients. Do we have a deal?” Nigel smiled, hoping that his offer would calm the situation. He couldn’t lose this job and the promise to go back into a fucking normal life, and he was ready to improve his behavior. Or at least to try. But he was tired of being treated like a piece of shit by this guy.

“We don’t. I won’t stop making fun of you, it’s a great way to relax, knowing you can’t do anything against it. I won’t hire anybody, so you better continue coming here as much as you do. If you want to live in a better place, that’s your problem. And no, I won’t pay you anything more. Why would I do that? You’re not paying me any rent.”

“Nobody would pay rent for that shit in your attic and...” A new punch stopped him.

“Shut. Up. When. I. Talk. You spend all the money I give you on cigarettes and cheap alcohol. You don’t need more, you have enough to be an useless failure. We don’t have a deal. You obey my orders and you shut up. That’s simple. Easy. Even you, you can understand.”

Nigel stood up. Screw Darko and his fucking rules, he was going to show that guy who he was and break his nose and maybe an arm or two. The six tall men coming out of the back shop to protect their boss were not expected. Nigel had met them once, when he arrived in the US. He should have remembered that before wanting to fight. Of course this sucker had men, like Darko had some too, and like he did, at one time. And of course they were waiting not far away this evening, just in case.   
Nigel was a good fighter, but he didn’t stand a chance against six men, without a gun or even a knife. “Don’t break him. I need him to work here tomorrow.” was the last thing he heard before being dragged outside. 

\- -

When Nigel crawled back to the crappy studio an hour later, he was still dreaming about breaking that asshole’s nose. But not now. He was pretty sure some of his ribs were cracked and he had blood in his mouth. Blood was dripping on his face, his arms, his back, and from several cuts. His left wrist was not broken but there was definitely a problem with it. Maybe it was sprained. He didn’t know and didn’t care. It had been years since he had been beaten up this badly. It was usually him doing it, or giving the order for it.   
Darko’s cousin had promised it was the first, but certainly not the last time it would happen. His guys would never be far away and they would be more than happy to visit Nigel on a regular basis.   
Definitely very tempting to punch him in the face.

There was not much inside the studio, in the attic at the top of the building of the Stardust cafe. The cousin owned the entire building. A small bathroom, with leaks and mold, a thin mat thrown directly on the floor and a small tv placed on top of a dirty microwave. And a large quantity of the cheapest and strongest alcohol he had found. It tasted bad, but he didn’t care. He hesitated for a second before he picked the first bottle in sight and crashed on the mat. Adam didn’t like the smell of alcohol. But he came by on Sundays, right? So it was fine. Nigel drank until he passed out, not taking care of his wounds, just regretting not having some coke to numb him for good. 

As expected, Adam didn’t come the next day. Nigel was sure the clients perfectly saw how bad he was, but nobody said anything. One of his coworkers took pity on him and prepared the orders after seeing how much he was struggling to make the drinks with only one hand. He had tried to roll his left wrist in a scarf to maintain it but it wasn’t very efficient. 

Adam came on Tuesday mornings, and Nigel waited for him with impatience that day. He was still looking bad, there was no way he could heal so fast, and maybe saying that he had fallen in the stairs wouldn’t work this time. But it didn’t matter, he was just impatient to see him. 

Except that this Tuesday, Adam didn’t come. 

He didn’t come either on Thursday. Nigel was incredibly worried, but he had no way to contact him. No address, no phone number, nothing. 

Adam finally came on Friday. Not in the morning, but late in the afternoon. Very unusual, and so very not Adam. He didn’t order anything, didn’t come to the countertop, and just sat alone, looking completely lost.   
Pocketing his cigarettes, Nigel informed his coworkers he was taking a break before leaving out the employee’s door and headed over to Adam. Nigel moved slowly, because everything was still hurting, but he couldn’t leave Adam Like this.

“I’m taking my break. Outside. Wanna come?”

Adam nodded and followed him without a word. Once outside, Nigel lit up a cigarette, carefully exhaling his smoke in the opposite way of Adam. 

“What’s going on, Gorgeous? You seem lost.”

“I lost my job. They fired me. I don’t know what to do. I applied to several other ones, but I don’t have news yet. Beth is helping me to get prepared for phone calls and job interviews, but I’m so bad at this... It will never work. Harlan said I would maybe have to sell the apartment and I can’t do that. I don’t want to move.”

Adam mumbled for a while about all the jobs he had applied to, and then finally looked up at Nigel, horrified. 

“You look awful. And you smell bad. And there is blood on your shirt.”

“Yeah I know. Shower is broken.”

“Showers have nothing to do with the smell of alcohol. Or the blood.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Nigel grunted apologetically. “I wouldn’t have drank if I had known you were coming. I’m not drunk right now, if it reassures you. Just the smell of last night.”

“You’re not ok at all.” Adam said, suddenly way more worried about Nigel than about his professional situation.

“It’s not important, don’t worry. Tell me more about that job you applied to today.”

“No. Your wrist looks weird, you have blood on your shirt and you have cuts on your face and you breath weirdly and you move slower than usual. You need help. I’m bringing you to the hospital. They will fix you.”

“No fucking way. It’s not against you, it’s nice to want to help me. But I can’t go to the hospital. Remember when I said that I’m a bad person, and that I did a lot of bad things in my previous life? I need to stay discreet. No cops, no hospital. I can’t.”

“Let me help you.”

“That’s nice but you can’t.” Nigel smiled. Even smiling hurt.

“Then... come to my place tonight, after work? Maybe I can’t help heal you completely, but my shower works. And you could wash your clothes. I’ll let you have one of my boxes of mac and cheese. ” Adam suggested.

Nigel hesitated for a second. A warm shower sounded divine, warm food too, and clean clothes as well. And exceptionally, the cafe was closed the next day for some decorating work from another company. Probably more fake plants. So he technically could accept. But it would mean getting into Adam’s life. Bringing Nigel’s life into his. He didn’t want to cause him trouble. But he knew he had to forget his pride and fear a little bit and accept he needed help. One evening couldn’t do any harm.

“Are you sure? Your friend Beth was afraid that I would hurt you. She wouldn’t be happy to know I’m at your apartment.”

“I’m sure. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Please. Let me help you. I’m not a doctor and I won’t call one. But I can help, even if I don’t know why you are in such a bad state.”

“Then yes, I’ll come. Thanks a lot Adam. And... I promise I’ll tell you a little bit more about me. My shift ends in an hour and a half.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments on the two first chapters on this! It’s really moving, I’m so glad people are enjoying this story. I hope you’ve enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> Already working on the next one!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam gets ready to bring Nigel home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for your comments on the previous chapters, it means the world to me! I hope you’ll like this chapter too. 
> 
> Beta-read by myauzo :)

Nigel went back inside to finish his shift while Adam decided to stay outside. It was as usual too noisy and bright inside, and waiting outside was way more enjoyable. Taking his phone out of his bag, Adam set an alarm for an hour and twenty five minutes, so he would be sure to be ready when Nigel’s shift ended. 

He was sure a shower and food would help Nigel, but it was not enough considering his current health. Adam closed his eyes to remember the scene better and pictured in his mind how hurt Nigel was. Wrist, cuts, difficulties breathing and moving weirdly. After a few seconds, he opened a web browser on his phone and started to do some research. 

He then quickly made his way to a food store to buy more mac and cheese of his favorite brand. He was totally ready to give some to Nigel of course, but not ready to not replace them immediately just in case. Nigel would probably want to eat something else, thought Adam, standing in the middle of the store with his boxes piled up in his arms. But what? What would Nigel like? He had seen him drink coffee, but that was all. He couldn’t ask the vendors, and coming back to the cafe just to ask that sounded ridiculous. He wandered for a while in the store, not really knowing what to do, and finally decided to pick chocolate cookies. Everybody liked cookies, right? Especially dinosaurus shaped ones. Or maybe not. But the store was closing soon, and there were no classical cookies left on the shelves and dinosaurus were great. 

He then bought a pack of cigarettes from another shop, and had to show his ID to the vendor. He probably looked lost to be totally honest. Or maybe it was because he didn’t know the name of the brand he wanted and described the pack instead?

Adam checked his watch. He still had time for one last stop before the end of Nigel’s shift and went into a pharmacy. The pharmacist immediately asked him what he needed and Adam did his best to explain.

“My friend is hurt and I want to help him.”

“Could you tell me more? I can’t help you getting what you need with so little information, sorry.”

“He has cuts on his face and arms and maybe somewhere else, I don’t know. He breathes slowly, like if it was hurting him. And his wrist looks bad.”

“You should get him to the hospital for a check-in and...”

“No, it’s not possible.”

“Maybe his ribs are bruised and that can be very serious...”

“No, no hospital.”

“Ok”, the pharmacist sighed, used to meeting people with this kind of behavior. “How did he get hurt? Knowing that would help.”

Adam hesitated. It would of course help to know that, but he had no idea of what had happened. 

“He fell down the stairs.”

He gulped. He was sure it was wrong and he hated lies. But he didn’t know and didn’t want to make assumptions. Maybe Nigel had been in a fight and had lost? Or maybe he had a kind of an accident? Or maybe it was not that at all. Maybe Nigel had lied to him when he told him about falling in the stairs a couple weeks ago. But, if he had lied, he probably had reasons? Or...

“Sir? Do you hear me?”

Adam nodded and forced himself to focus on what the pharmacist was saying. A few minutes later, he was leaving the shop with some bandages, gauze, disinfectant and pain killers. He arrived back in front of the cafe and switched off his alarm before it started to ring. 

When Nigel finally got out fifteen minutes later, Adam was pacing back and forth in front of the cafe. Nigel smiled softly when he saw him. 

“I wasn’t sure you would really wait for me.”

“I said I would, so I did. Otherwise, it would have been a lie and I hate lies.”

“So you never lie?”

“No, never. The night is starting to fall and I should be home already. We should go now.”

“Sure, I’m coming. Do you live far away from here?” Nigel asked, half curious and half hoping it would be close. He wasn’t feeling good enough to enjoy a walk and hadn’t had a proper meal all day. 

“No, it’s only ten minutes away. Maybe fifteen today, because you are walking slowly.”

“Ah sorry, I’ll walk faster.”

“No, no it’s fine. And... you don’t seem okay enough to walk faster.”

“I have to admit that I had better days. And, um, Adam? Thanks for helping me.”

“You’re welcome” Said Adam with a large smile. “I like to help people I care about and I do care about you.”

“You’re probably the nicest person I’ve ever met.”

“That’s probably because you don’t know me a lot... How did you get hurt? If you don’t mind me asking. I told the pharmacist you had fallen down the stairs but...”

“I didn’t fall down the stairs. And... the last time, when I told you I had. It was a lie. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you enough to tell the truth. I lie often. I’m sorry” Nigel apologized again. That was something unusual for him, but he was suddenly afraid Adam would reject him because of that.

“Have you lied to me on other occasions?” Adam asked with a shy voice.

“No. I swear I didn’t. Promise. Just this time.”

“It’s fine then. You couldn’t do anything else, and you’re being honest with me. I understand that you couldn’t trust me. What happened to you this time? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m just curious and worried.”

“I got in trouble with my boss and... I told you I was in a not very legal business before, right? Well, he is too. And it’s not an environment where things go smoothly and... we got into an argument. I can fight, I’m even pretty good, but he had six guys and I was alone. I lost. And I can’t punch this fucking guy in the face, I would lose any chance of getting back into the business and Darko would probably kill me.”

“Your boss sent his guards to beat you.”

“Yeah. Good summary.”

“Are you sure you still want to go back into the business, as you say? It doesn’t seem very safe.”

Nigel laughed and his ribs fucking hurt. He was clearly not expecting that answer. 

“It’s not safe at all. But that’s the only thing I know. So... yeah, I’ll go back.”

“I’m sure you could do something else. We should walk faster, it’s starting to rain.”

“I’d like to, but I really can’t, I’m sorry. It’s just... I have nothing broken, they knew what they were doing. But I’m not doing great.”

“I can see that. I could help you walk, just lean on my shoulder.” Nigel stopped walking and looked at him with a weird stare. 

“I’m stronger than I looked, don’t worry.” Adam added.

“That’s not the problem Gorgeous. But... you don’t like being touched, you told me that. And I did some research.”

“Research about what?”

“About the Asperger’s syndrome, after you told me you had it. I didn’t want to invade your privacy! I just wanted to know more, to not do anything that could hurt you. I read a lot of things, including that some Asperger people hated being touched because it could be painful for them, or just because it made them uncomfortable.”

“That’s... very considerate of you. I’m surprised. And happy. Nobody ever did that for me. That’s why you started being careful with the alcohol smell?”

“Yeah. I read that it could be something really hard to deal with for you.”

“I told you you were nice.” Adam said. “And... about being touched... I don’t mind if I know the person and if I’m warned I’m going to be touched. I was glad when you stopped Beth’s friend from touching me the other day, because I don’t know her and didn’t know how to tell her to stop without being rude. Beth would have been angry. But I know and like you, and as I’m the one suggesting it, it is totally fine.”

Nigel finally accepted and leaned heavily on Adam’s shoulder. To his surprise, Adam put his arm behind his back to support him more, and Nigel allowed himself to be helped. Together, they walked slowly under the rain.

\- -

Once they arrived at the apartment, Adam brought Nigel to the bathroom. It would have been useless to try to fix his wounds while he was still dirty and stinky. 

“I’m going to find you some clothes.” Adam promised as he left the room.

Nigel thanked him and looked around while the water was running. From the little bit he had seen, it was a very nice apartment, big and carefully cleaned. In the bathroom, the towels were precisely folded on the shelves and the bottles of shampoo and shower gel were perfectly aligned on the side of the bathtub. 

Nigel smiled. Everything here was very Adam. He tossed his dirty clothes on the floor, not paying attention to the messy pile it made, and slowly got into the hot water, cursing and swearing as the movements revived the pain in his ribs, and the water splashed on his cuts.   
Despite the pain, this was way better than the broken shower of the studio. The surface of the water was covered with bubbles and the smell was really nice. He could probably have slept in this bathtub, but kept in mind that Adam had broken his routine for him and was probably waiting, so he didn’t allow himself to relax for too long. He quickly washed his body and grabbed the bottle of shampoo to deal with his greasy hair and immediately hissed loudly in pain. Fuck. He hadn’t thought about that. Lifting his arms was really painful because of his ribs, and he could barely use his left hand because of his bruised wrist. Maybe he could just dip his head into the water and...

“Nigel, are you okay?” Adam’s worried voice came from behind the door. “I heard the splash of water and your pained noise. Are you still conscious or...?”

“Still conscious, yeah, don’t worry. I just tried to lift my arms to wash my hair and I shouldn’t have.”

“I can’t just not worry. Do you need help?” Adam added after a little hesitation, not knowing if it was the right thing to say. But Nigel truly needed help, right? And Adam was almost sure he had already seen movies that were not porn where someone was washing someone else’s hair to help them. 

Nigel hesitated too. Keeping his hair greasy, or putting his head under the water hoping it would be enough and hoping it wouldn’t hurt too badly to lean, or accepting Adam’s help? The bubbles were hiding everything that needed to be hidden after all...

“Yeah. I need help. To wash my hair and probably to get out of the bathtub after. Thanks.”

Adam got in and dropped a pile of folded clothes next to the clean towels.

“You’re taller than me, I hope they will fit. These clothes are too big for me and I never wear them.”

“I’m sure they will be perfect, don’t worry.”

Adam tried to smile and clumsily kneeled near the bathtub to wash Nigel’s hair. Very soft hair, he thought, to his surprise. 

“Why did you get fired? If you wanna talk about it.” Nigel asked to try to get Adam to relax by focusing on something else than the current situation. He could feel his hands shaking and the shampoo dangerously starting to drip above his eyes.

“They asked me to develop a program to make a doll talk. But... I didn’t really get what they wanted. I created the program and was still working on it. It was able to recognize people’s voices, between other things. But my boss explained that it was too complicated, and that it was taking too long. That it would be too expensive to make toys. He wanted something simpler, to sell a lot of quite cheap talking dolls. Not a complicated and expensive one. He wouldn’t sell a lot of those, and that’s not what he wanted, he said. So he fired me.”

“His loss.”

“You really think that?”

“I do. You’re smart, you would have been able to create the program he wanted. He just should have been more precise at the beginning. Maybe writing a clear list of the functions and things he wanted? Something like that.”

“That would have helped, indeed. I need to find another job quickly. I can’t sell this place. I don’t want to move. I can’t.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something. And you told me you had started to apply to other jobs, right? It’s just a matter of time now.” Nigel smiled, trying to be reassuring.

“Time yes, and phone calls. And job interviews. Beth is helping me, but I’m afraid it won’t be enough. I’m not good at all at this kind of thing.” He paused for a second. “I’m done with your hair.”

He helped Nigel out of the bathtub and handed him a towel before leaving again. Nigel thanked him and slowly started to dry his skin, muttering curses to hide the pain in his ribs. The clothes Adam had brought were... very not Adam. Loose sweatpants and a t-shirt that would be way too large even for Nigel. A cartoon frog with a hat was printed on the shirt. Nigel couldn’t picture Adam wearing it, not at all. He put on the sweatpants, grabbed the frog shirt and left the bathroom, following the light noises coming from a TV in front of which Adam was seating. 

“You don’t like the t-shirt. I’m sorry. I have nothing else that could fit you. I got it as a gift in a pack of cereal, years ago, but I never wore it.”

“Nah, I have to admit that it’s not what I usually wear but it’s fine, don’t worry. I didn’t put it on because I’d like you to check a cut on my shoulder, if you don’t mind. I can’t see it, but it feels bad. But only if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable.” 

Adam answered that it was fine, that he wanted to help. Following Nigel’s instructions and his recent research on the web, he did his best to patch him up. Adam sprayed disinfectant on some of his cuts and put bandages to protect the bruised areas. Adam had never done that before and he was hoping he was not making the situation worse than it was, but Nigel wasn’t protesting, just hissing in pain from time to time and guiding him. Nigel also continued to ask Adam questions about his previous job, to distract him from the stressful fact that he had a half-naked gangster sitting on his sofa. 

“I also have this”, said Adam, fumbling in his bag after finishing cleaning and dressing Nigel’s wounds. “For your wrist. It’s ointment, the pharmacist told me it would help if it was sprained. As you told me it was not broken...”

Nigel nodded, not knowing how to answer for one of the first times of his life. Adam was breaking his routine for him, didn’t mind if he touched him, had agreed to wash his hair, and had been to a pharmacy to seek help for him. Nigel couldn’t remember ever having someone so genuinely nice in his entire life. Of course Gabi had been nice to him at first, but not like this. Not this totally selfless and pure kindness Adam had in his heart.   
Nigel silently let Adam rub the ointment on his wrist and forearm, very carefully and with light touches, afraid to hurt him. He then brought him a wrist splint he had kept in his wardrobe since a bad fall in the bathtub many years ago. 

“I have pain killers for you as well, quite light ones, without prescription, but you can’t have them now. You need to eat something before, it's written on the instructions. I got you cookies, if you want to eat something while I reheat the mac & cheese.”

Adam handed him the box of cookies and stood up to go to the kitchen.

“You got me dinosaurus shaped cookies?” Nigel smiled in slight disbelief.

“Yes? I’m sorry?” Adam hesitated. “They didn’t have anything else at the store and I didn’t know what to take or where else I could go and I’m sorry if it’s not....”

“No no no! It’s perfect.” Nigel laughed. “I’m just surprised. The good kind of surprise. It’s just... it’s been a very long time since anybody has been this caring with me.”

“I like you, you’re nice.” Adam mumbled. “So I’m just trying to help.”

The conversation was starting to be uncomfortable and Adam left the room to reheat the mac & cheese boxes like he had announced. He really did like Nigel. But he wasn’t sure he was supposed to say it. Some people were uncomfortable with that, and Adam wasn’t very talented at expressing his feelings. He still remembered having being called a faggot and other names like that once when he was a student, for having said to one of his classmates he liked him. He meant it, the guy was nice and interesting. But it was apparently not something a human could say to another one. Or maybe just a man to another one. Maybe it would have been a problem for a girl to say that to another girl as well, he thought. People were often uncomfortable with that. Himself... he didn’t mind. He liked or disliked people without stopping to consider their gender. People were so complicated and mysterious.

But Nigel hadn’t insulted him, and even if he was always saying he was a bad man, he didn’t seem to mind that Adam kept saying he was nice. Nigel would probably leave after having eaten something, he realized. That suddenly made him sad. He had unconsciously hoped he would stay, just because he was appreciating the company. He liked being with Nigel. And, even if Adam didn't want to admit it completely, he had enjoyed washing his hair and touching his skin to patch him up. Adam nervously brushed his fingers on his shirt collar, mechanically stimming to relieve the nervous energy. 

When he came back into the living room, Nigel had managed to put on the frog t-shirt and was now watching TV.

“It’s Star Trek,” Adam said. “This channel is often rebroadcasting it.”

“I don’t know this show. Heard about it, but never watched. Why is the weird guy shouting like that?”

“He is Klingon, and they are...”

Nigel listened to Adam’s explanations about Star Trek while eating his mac & cheese. He couldn’t really imagine eating that every single day, but it wasn’t bad tasting.

“I’ll wash your clothes as fast as possible and bring them to you tomorrow at the cafe.” he promised.

“I won’t be at the fucking cafe tomorrow, it will be closed. Some stupid decorating. More light, more fake plants, still ugly.”

“Oh. Ok. That’s great. I mean. Great that it will be closed, not for the new decorations. You’ll get some time for yourself. Have you planned anything?” Adam asked, trying to sound casual. 

“I was planning to get drunk and pass out. Maybe do some coke if I could get any. Nothing precise.”

“You’re doing drugs?” He said, opening big scared eyes and with horror in his voice.

“I did, and still do sometimes. When you’re a seller, you always end up being a user as well. I never consumed a lot. Sniffing the merchandise isn’t good to make money. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have announced it like this. But... I told you I was okay to tell you a bit more about myself. And my story isn’t beautiful.”

Adam didn’t answer, keeping a worried face. He slowly nodded.

“You were a bad man.”

“I still am one. I never did anything good in my life, I guess it’s just destiny. Want to know the full story or ... ? I can also leave, if you prefer.”

“No, don’t leave. Stay. Please. I like having you here. Even if... But... yes. Tell me more. If you’re ok with that.”

Nigel slowly told everything to Adam. What the “business” he was talking about was. His work with Darko back in Bucharest. Drugs, seller and user. The violence, the fights, the guns. People he had beaten up or who have been beaten up on his commands. People he had shot. The passion he had for mechanics, fixing cars and motorbikes when he was not busy with drugs deals or the clubs or something. Gabi, his love for her, a love so fucking intense it was still hurting. The asshole he had been with her, his regrets. The affection he still had for her, hoping she was happy. How Darko had saved his life after that cop had shot him. How much he was hating Darko for this, for not letting him die. Why he had run to the cop, hoping he would shoot him, end the pain, end everything. His plan to go back into the business here, in the US, to help Darko expand his activities. The shitty studio he was living in, the asshole cousin and this fucking barista job. How the cafe was covering illegal activities. The risks if he was not discreet enough. The days spent at the cafe, and the nights spent drinking to forget Gabi, the pain, the loneliness. But that he did not hate her, that he was just hoping she was happier without him. She certainly was. He was sure of that, and it was so fucking painful. She was his love, his world. He was nothing, not anymore, and would never be important to anyone again. He was just tired of this. Did he really want to go back to this world? Not really. But that’s all he could do. That, or ending everything. He had hurt so many people. Maybe an end was the best solution.

Nigel also talked about Adam, how happy he was to meet him regularly, to be able to talk with someone who wasn’t afraid of him or despised him. How grateful he was to have met him, and for his help. A little ray of sunshine in his dark life. 

Adam listened silently, trying to acknowledge everything Nigel was saying and looking straight in front of him. 

“I can leave now, if you want.” Nigel offered. “I wouldn’t be mad, not at all. I would understand. I am not a good person. I’ve done bad things, and I’ll do bad things again. And even if I’m not an alcoholic, I often drink enough to pass out lately. And I take drugs from time to time. And I swear.”

Adam was still not answering. Nigel stood up and started to walk to the door.

“I’ll give the clothes back to your friend Beth the next time she comes to the cafe. Don’t worry, I understand, you don’t have to say anything. I’m not mad, or disappointed. I understand. Thanks for your help, and good luck on your job search.”

Seeing Nigel heading for the door finally got Adam out of his thoughts. He caught Nigel’s hand as he was going past him.

“Don’t leave. Please. I don’t want you to leave. It’s just... I’m having a hard time processing all of that. You’re rude to some clients, yes, but you’re nice with me. Nicer than most of the people I met. You did research to be able to be around me without hurting me. You are even careful to not smell of alcohol when I’m coming, just because you know it would upset me. You’re a good man, Nigel. You were a bad one, before. You have done awful things. But it’s your past, and I care about your present, not about your past. Not that I don’t care about your past, sorry, I never know how to say those things. But I mean that your present is more important to me than your past mistakes. You were ready to die for the love of your life, and in a way, you did. So she could live her life. A truly bad person would not do that.”

Adam got up, still holding Nigel’s hand in his.  
“You’re not bad. You are a good person who has done bad things. In the past. Not now. Nigel, you are a good person, with flaws and problems like everyone. Don’t leave please. I don’t want you to leave. I accept you the way you are, just as you are accepting me the way I am.”

Nigel didn’t leave. He turned around and took Adam in his arms. Not hugging too tightly, not forcing the contact, ready to let Adam go at the very sign of him being uncomfortable. Just trying to express how he was feeling. His gratitude, his relief, his joy of being accepted by someone who was so different from him, who was so genuinely kind. Someone who has been rejected his whole life, even if he was sincerely good. 

Adam hugged him back, hesitantly, not really knowing how to put his arms, squeezing too hard and reducing the strength of his embrace when he felt Nigel’s wince of pain. 

“You’re a good one Adam.”

“You are too. Even if you don’t see it.”

“I’m not convinced but it makes me happy that you think so.”

Nigel didn’t leave and even agreed when Adam suggested that he stay for the night. He apologized a lot for having only the sofa for him to sleep on, but Nigel had assured him it was perfectly fine, and way more comfortable than the studio. 

Adam went to bed early, to not modify his routine too much, and put Nigel’s clothes in the washing machine before wishing him a good night. Nigel had wished him the same and had switched off the tv. This Star Trek thing was not bad and it would have been nice to continue to watch, but he wasn’t going to watch it alone. Having Adam commenting about scenes and characters was way more enjoyable. He lied down on the sofa, wrapped in the fluffy blanket Adam had brought tohim. 

Alone in the dark, Nigel smiled. His life had always been pretty fucked up, but for once, he was good enough in someone’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dinosaurus shaped cookies Adam got for Nigel exist for real (google “dinosaurus biscuits” to see pictures of the box). I don’t know if they can be bought everywhere? At least in my country, they are quite easy to find, and I looooooove those biscuits. 
> 
> And I love Star Trek. I think Adam would enjoy this show. 
> 
> See you soon for the next chapter! I hope you liked this one :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeing Nigel is now a part of Adam’s routine, even if Beth disagrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Beth talks about Adam and aspie people with very rude and harsh words. I do NOT think what she says (I’m aspie too). She uses a lot of common tropes about asperger, things that can be read every day on the web or heard from people.  
> It’s just a scene, but please, know that bad things are said in this chapter (but Nigel is not far, don’t worry), so if you’re sensible to that, please take care of yourself and be prepared. 
> 
> Beta-read by myauzo :D

The next day flew by quickly. Nigel stayed at Adam’s the whole day, basically just sleeping and letting the other man take care of his wounds. He had suggested going out to buy cigarettes and had been delighted to discover that Adam had got some for him so he wouldn’t have to go himself. When he went back to the Stardust cafe on Sunday morning, he was almost feeling good. His wounds, even if not totally healed, were way better than a few days ago, and even his wrist was starting to get better with the help of the sling. 

Adam resumed his habit to come to the cafe in the mornings when it was empty, even if he wasn’t working anymore and didn’t need to pass it anymore. And Nigel got into the habit of coming to Adam's apartment in the evenings and staying for the night. A day from time to time at first, and then almost every day. He never came unannounced, Adam invited him each time. And Nigel was, to his surprise, enjoying these calm evenings spent watching tv or listening to Adam talk about space, raccoons or one of the many topics he loved. As it was something Adam didn’t like, Nigel was doing his best to not drink. Just in case Adam would come unannounced to the cafe since he would dislike the smell. It was easy when they were together. The usual pain and regrets were dulled, he didn’t need to drown them. 

Regularly, when Adam arrived at the cafe in the morning or when Nigel ringed at his door at night, he had new cuts, bruises or a black eye. He never pretended again it was because he had fallen down the stairs, and Adam never asked questions, just helped him. Nigel was still dreaming about putting the cafe and the cousin on fire, but his anger was not as strong as it was before meeting Adam. He was stuck here for now, but as long as he had Adam in his life, he was fine with that. Even the clients of the cafe and his co-workers seemed to notice that he was less rude than before.

\- -

Saturday evening, Nigel closed the cafe and happily started to walk in the direction of Adam’s apartment. Uninvited for the first time. Or almost uninvited, to be precise. Adam had given him a spare key the day before and he had told him he could come whenever he wanted.

Nigel smoked one last cigarette before stopping in front of the door, carefully pulling the key out of his closed chest pocket. Adam hadn’t said anything about not smoking inside, but it was obvious he would never do that. A lot of people hated that, and with Adam’s sensitivity to smells, it was clearly not something Nigel would ever do.

“What are you doing here?” Screamed a high pitched voice behind him. Nigel turned immediately, his right hand automatically falling on his belt, where he usually put his gun before. Beth was standing there, looking totally terrified.

“Have you followed Adam here? How did you find his address? Are you trying to get in? To steal his stuff or worse? I thought he had stopped going to the cafe after that disastrous Saturday! I’m calling the police immediately!”

“Calm the fuck down. I’m not trying to break in, I’m getting in, I have a key. And no, I haven’t stolen that key, Adam gave it to me yesterday.”

“It’s not... it’s not good. Adam is easily manipulated and I’m sure you’re playing games with him. What are you planning to do?”

“To watch Star Trek. He got the DVDs to show me all the episodes from the beginning. We are in season 2.” Nigel explained, so amused to see Beth totally lost and not understanding at all what was going on. 

“But... I thought he had finally stopped seeing you, since he stopped going to the cafe.”

“He stopped going with you and your fucking friends. But he’s still coming for me.” Nigel grinned proudly.

“But...You’re not a good person, I don’t know what you did or are still doing, but you are certainly not someone anybody would want to have around. Adam is naive.”

“He is a grown man and he perfectly knows what he is doing. And no, I’m not a good person. But for him, I am. Now, move from that door, I’m going to be late and Adam’s evening routine is going to be messed up because of you.”

“No, I’m not moving. He needs me. I’m calling the police.”

“Calling them to say what? That someone wants to get in an apartment, where he is invited by the owner, waited for by the owner, and for which he has the key? Come on, they won’t move for that.” Nigel said, sounding confident but not sure at all of what he had just said. The cops could totally come for a call from a frightened woman feeling threatened by a possibly dangerous person. But he couldn’t say that. He really didn’t want to be noticed by the police.

“I could call your boss! He has friends, they would stop you from hurting Adam.”

“You have that dumbass’ number?” Nigel asked, surprised and, to be totally honest, a little bit scared. Meeting his boss and his men was not something he was enjoying. “Why? He is stupid as fuck, and mean. If you’re looking for a date, even you could find better.”

“He gave it to me and two of my friends the last time we came to the cafe with Adam. Just in case you threatened someone again.”

“I didn’t...oh, you’re speaking of that girl I almost smacked so she would remove her hand from Adam’s shoulder. It was no big deal, I didn’t even touch her. Adam hates being touched by unknown people, don’t you know that? And the first time you came, leaving him alone in the middle of a meltdown, not even thinking to help him? What a great friend you are.” Nigel spat. “And what a great girlfriend you were, dropping him because he is different. Congrats.”

“What did he tell you about me?” Beth asked suspiciously. 

“That he had loved you dearly, and that he knew you had loved him too. But he didn’t say it often, because it’s not something he easily does. And that you rejected him because of that.”

“He is nice but he is too different. Did he tell you he has Asperger’s?”

“Of course. And before you start explaining to stupid Nigel what it is, I already know. I talked with him about it and I did research.”

“I wasn’t going to say you were stupid and...”

“Maybe not right now, but you know what? I can hear you when you’re talking with your friend. Stupid and failure are your most used words about me. But this is not about me, this is about Adam. Yes, I know he is Asperger’s. Continue.”

“He doesn’t react like everybody, he doesn’t have feelings and emotions like everybody. We were together for eight months, and he never invited me to a restaurant, or to any kind of date. He only told me once that he loved me. Once. In a relationship that lasted for eight months. And he didn’t really mean it, he can’t feel things like a normal person. He said it because he knew I wanted to hear it. But without putting any true feelings behind it. My father had warned me it would never work, Adam is too different.”

“A normal person? Do you fucking hear what you’re saying? That’s bullshit.” Nigel growled angrily. “He loved you. He truly fucking loved you. He has feelings, like everybody does. He just doesn’t show them a lot, or not in a way people are used to. He is not a robot or something. You broke his heart. He is fine with all that shit now, and is happy to still be your friend. Even if personally, I think you’re a very shitty friend. He realized it was better for him to not be with you, even if it took him time. Because love fucking hurts. Of course he was sincere when he told you he loved you. He meant it, true feelings and everything. You just didn’t give him a chance to be himself, for fuck’s sake! You didn’t want him, didn’t accept him. You wanted to change him. I’m glad he is not with you anymore, you don’t fucking deserve him.”

“I’m still his friend... And as a friend, I of course want to change him, his flaws. Helping him be more social, meeting people, looking at people in the eyes, getting over his panic instead of having meltdowns. It’s only to help him.” Beth tried to explain. 

“He likes you as a friend, and you help him with his job hunting which is a good thing. And I won’t do anything to break that friendship. He already knows what I think about you. He likes seeing you, talking with you and mainly has good things to tell about you, even if each time you meet, it ends like shit. But you should reconsider what YOU are saying about him. You’re awful. Reconsider what you think about him. Friends are here to help each other, not to try to change the other one to match what they want.”

Beth didn’t answer. Maybe he was right. But she really wanted only good things for Adam, and being.... himself, couldn’t be good for him, right? 

“Let me go now,” Nigel asked again. “I’m late. I said everything I wanted to say.”

“I’m still not sure it’s safe to let you be alone with him... Don’t start again, I know he is an adult.”

“But you’re treating him like a kid.”

“If you say so... Listen, I’m going to knock, and talk to him about you. Alone. I just... want him to be safe.”

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that? Hurry the fuck up then. Captain Kirk and Spock are waiting on the DVD and Adam is waiting for me.”

Beth sighed and knocked. Adam opened the door just three seconds later, like he was waiting next to the door. Which was probably the case.

“Nigel you can come in, you have the key now and... oh hello Beth.” Adam said with a disappointed voice. “Sorry Beth, I thought...”

“He is here” She answered drily, “but I want to talk with you first. Just a couple of minutes.”

“But why...”

Beth got in the apartment and Nigel missed the end of Adam’s answer. He lit up another cigarette and took a look at his watch. Just a couple of minutes, she had said. Fine. He was going to generously wait exactly three minutes before going in. 

Inside the apartment, Beth was explaining to Adam how she had met Nigel outside and why she wanted to talk with him.

“It’s nice of you to want me to be safe, but I’m safe with Nigel. I appreciate the attention, but you don’t need to worry.”

“I don’t know... he is not... he doesn’t seem to be a good person. There are rumors about some of the men who are often seen in the back shop of the cafe, rumors saying that they are involved in illegal activities and if it’s true, I’m pretty sure Nigel is involved too.”

“These rumors are true” Adam answered, honest as usual. “They are the owner’s henchmen. But Nigel is not involved in their business yet.”

“And you’re fine with that?!”

“I’m not inviting the owner or these men. Just Nigel. Who is not involved in their activities. So yes, I’m fine with that. He is treating me like... like a normal person. My Asperger’s doesn’t bother him. He pays attention to me and my needs, he is careful with noise and everything. I like him. I feel good when I’m with him.”

“I suppose I have been too harsh with him... but I still don’t think it’s a good thing for you to continue to see him.”

“You don’t have to like him and his manners and everything. Just to accept that I do like him and his manners, and to accept who he is. You both are my friends. But you don’t have to like each other. Just to let me like each of you.”

“Did he tell you to stop seeing me or something like that?”

“He told me he didn’t like you and why. But no, he didn’t say anything like that. He doesn’t control me or my life or my choices, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“I see... I suppose nothing I could say would change your mind about him?”

“No.”

“Fine then. I’m going to leave you for tonight, enjoy your evening. And, for your job hunting? I think you’re ready for any interview, I don’t need to help you anymore with that. I can’t change you.” Beth frowned in frustration.

“Are you sure I’m ready?”

“Yes, you’ll manage perfectly.” Beth wished him a good evening again and left the apartment, quickly replaced by Nigel who had finished his cigarette. 

“Are you ok?” Nigel asked Adam who was panting nervously. “You look stressed and sad.”

“I think I’m... realizing things. About Beth.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I don’t want to bother you. I’m not talented enough to talk about this kind of thing.”

“You’re not bothering me, Little Star. Talk if you want, all you want. But only if you want to. No pressure. ”

“She has always told me she would help me get better. I always thought she meant feeling better. Like... less nervous, that kind of thing.” Adam started to say, rubbing his clenched fingers on his shirt so hard that it was painful. Nigel silently took his right hand in his and slowly rubbed his thumb on Adam’s palm. He had started to do that a few days ago, after Adam had hurt his fingers by being too tense. Adam let him do, the pressure relieving some of his tension.

“But she didn’t mean that. I just hadn’t understood it. She meant changing me. My flaws. Being awkward and clumsy. Getting my Asperger’s traits out of me. But it’s not an illness. I just work differently from others. I know it’s not a good thing but...”

“It is a good thing. It is you, that’s all” Nigel said with a reassuring tone.

“She liked me, loved me. But not me as I am. The person she wanted me to become. She loved the idea of who she wanted me to become. I guess... It explains why we broke up. And why, even as friends, we are not close as we were before dating. She has been moving away from me for months, even before I met you. I just hadn’t realized it. I continued talking with her and all as usual, I was just clinging. She didn’t reject me as a friend, to not hurt me I suppose. But it’s not the same. I just didn’t want to see it. She lied to me, when we were dating. And now I’m understanding that she kept doing it for months, saying she still wanted to be my friend. And I believed her. She is right! I’m so stupid and naive! ”

“You’re not. You just didn’t see why someone you had loved as a friend and more could be mean to you.”

“Maybe. I should stop seeing her. She invited me to the cafe just by habit. Each time we see each other, it goes badly. Except when she helped me with the job hunting, that was nice.”

“She can be nice.” Damn it was almost hurting Nigel to say that. “But yeah, it goes badly each time you see her. Because she is trying to get you out of your comfort zone and you don’t need that. I agree, you should stop seeing her. Maybe just texting news from time to time, or just saying hello when meeting in the stairs? Not getting her totally out of your life. But not letting her hurt you either.”

“Yes. It sounds good. I want her to be happy. Having news sometimes but avoiding the conflicts and all these things, it sounds good.”

“You’re nervous and you’re shaking. Come, we are going to sit on the sofa. You’ll feel better.”

Adam nodded and followed Nigel, who still hadn’t let go of his hand. They sat in silence for a moment, until Adam noticed it was past the time to eat. Nigel offered to reheat the food and struggled with the microwave before bringing his mac & cheese to Adam. They watched an episode of Star Trek, as planned, and Adam commented on every illogical decision Kirk made. 

“I should go to bed.” Adam sighed at the end of the episode. “But I don’t really feel like it. After Beth and realizing these things and... I heard a part of what she said when you were outside with her. Not everything, but enough. I knew what she was thinking, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. And now it hurts. I’ll never be able to sleep in these conditions.”

“It’s still early and tomorrow is Sunday. Nobody is going to contact you for a job interview tomorrow, you’ll wake up later if you need more sleep. Do you want to watch another episode? Or we could play chess, if you have a game.” Nigel suggested.

“You play chess?”

“I haven’t played since I got to the US, but yeah, I used to. I love it. Darko was often making fun of me for that, because it doesn’t really fit with my personality. But I think he was just jealous, because he never beat me.”

“I didn’t think you would like that game, but yes, I’d like to play with you. I mainly play it online, because Beth doesn’t know how to play and doesn’t want to learn, and Harlan is often too busy for that. And I don’t really know other people. But playing chess with the real physical game and pieces is always better.”

They played for two hours and to Adam’s surprise Nigel won. 

“Harlan never wins against me.” He said, to explain his surprise. “But he doesn’t take this game very seriously, he just enjoys it from time to time. Thanks for the game, I hope we’ll play again soon.”

“We will. You need revenge.” Nigel laughed kindly. “And don’t worry about the pieces, I’m going to put them back in the box while you’re going to sleep.”

After making sure Nigel had a pillow and a blanket, Adam wished him a good night, as usual, and went to bed. Nigel carefully put back the chess pieces in their box as he had said, and headed for the bathroom. The sweatpants and the frog t-shirt Adam had given him the first time he came here were carefully folded near his towel and his toothbrush, ready to be used as pyjamas. Nigel didn’t mind sleeping in his day clothes, but Adam’s expression at that idea had immediately changed his opinion. 

Nigel wondered for a minute what Darko would think of him in that precise moment, getting pyjamas on and brushing his teeth before getting to sleep on a sofa with a galaxy colored blanket (even if Adam had explained that it was not how a galaxy really looked like) and a soft pillow, in the apartment of another man. But it didn’t matter. Darko was far away, and apparently not in a hurry to contact him. He got comfortable on the sofa, putting away his thoughts about Darko and everything. 

A few minutes later, Nigel got up. Something was wrong. He couldn’t tell what, but something was not as usual. The lights maybe? No, everything was dark in the apartment. A dripping tap? He stood up to go to check the bathroom, swearing when he hit his toes against the damn table on his way, but everything was fine here too.   
He finally realized that the unusual thing was a noise coming from Adam’s room. Nigel hesitated for a second. Maybe Adam was just having some pleasurable alone activities and it would be very awkward if he knew Nigel had heard him. Awkward for Adam at least. After years in clubs, Nigel had heard and witnessed way worse than that, and had been involved in way worse himself. It was probably rude but he got near the door and listened carefully, just to be sure Adam was alright. And he quickly realized that what he was hearing were muffled cries. Screw politeness and his intention to do like he hadn’t heard anything. Nigel knocked at the door.

“Adam, are you ok? May I come in?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” Answered a teary voice.

“You’re not fine. Is it ok if I come in? Just to talk, if you want.”

“If you want.”

Nigel opened the door. Adam was in his bed, curled up on himself and crying into his pillow. Nigel kneeled on the floor beside him. 

“What’s going on Little Star? What’s making you sad? Tell big bad Nigel, and I’ll hunt it down for you.”

Adam had a little laugh between tears at this. 

“It’s stupid.”

“If it makes you sad, it’s not stupid.”

“If you say so... I’m sad about Beth. My whole life, I only had Harlan. I like him, but we are not close friends. More like... buddies maybe. He was my father’s friend. Then I met Beth, almost two years ago, when she moved into the next apartment. We became friends. I had a friend! Me! Not one brought by my father, one I had met myself. It was a great feeling. And then we dated for a while. She was nice and sex was good. Then... we broke up. She took her distance, while I was still thinking that everything was fine. I’m not good at understanding these things, and she didn’t tell me. I’m just...” Adam hiccuped between two tears. “I’m just sad to have lost her. Even if it’s probably better like this for me. And for her. I feel angry at myself for not having understood it before. But mainly I’m sad. Because I’m alone again, and I will always be alone.”

“It’s normal to get sad when a friendship ends. Your feelings are valid, you’re totally legitimate to feel sad. But Adam? You’re not alone you know. I’m here. I won’t try to change you. I don’t want you to change. You’re perfect the way you are. You’re not alone, and as long as you want me in your life, you won’t be alone. You have me.”

Nigel took Adam's hands in his and let him cry to his heart’s content. When Adam finally started to calm down, he asked:  
“Nigel? May I hug you? The other day, when you were badly injured, you hugged me and you told me I was nice. You are nice with me. I want to hug you.”

“Sure.”

Adam clumsily threw his arms around Nigel and hugged him tightly for a long time, crying and thanking him profusely, wetting his t-shirt and his neck with tears. 

“I’m sorry for all of...” Adam finally said when he let Nigel go a few minutes after, vaguely gesturing to illustrate what he meant. 

“There is nothing to be sorry about.” Nigel said, smiling even if he was regretting to not be hugging Adam anymore. He was surprised by this feeling but said nothing. “Do you... want me to stay?” He asked, doing his best to hide the hope in his voice. What the hell was going on with him?

“In my room?”

“If you want. Or in your living room.” He quickly added, just in case. “Your choice. Just don’t wanna leave you alone when you’re not feeling okay.”

“Do you snore? I’d like you to stay but I can’t sleep if there is noise, and I’m not used to sleeping next to someone.”

“I don’t. Or at least nobody ever complained. Make some room for me. And kick me if I snore.”

“I would never do that!”

“I know” He laughed. “But don’t hesitate if I’m taking too much place or making noise or something that disturbs you. I just want to not leave you alone, I don’t want to stop you from sleeping.”

“I still won’t hit you for this. Are you sure you’re fine with that?”

“What? Fine with not being hit? Yeah, totally.”

“No, I mean, fine with the idea of sleeping in the same bed as me. As a man, I mean.”

“Oh yeah, it’s fine, that’s not a problem for me. I did that a few times with Darko when we were younger. Just sleeping I mean. Not to help, or to not leave the other one alone. Just because it was more convenient, or because there was no other choice between that and one of us sleeping on the floor. Darko is not a great person to share a bed with by the way.”

“He snores?”

“No, worse: he runs. He gets up extra super fucking early to run and woke me up each time.”

Adam laughed, imagining a young grumpy Nigel swearing in the morning. 

“Sleep Little Star, it’s late. Nothing bad will happen. I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been the most complicated one to write (for now?), because of the things Beth says, even if it’s very common things to hear/read sadly.  
> And because of the scene where Adam explains why he is hurt by Beth’s words. I hope it’s not too confused and that it makes sense. Expressing, describing etc this kind of feelings is very complicated for me. So... I hope I didn’t fail too much. 
> 
> I hope you’ve enjoyed this chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darko is finally calling. Is it finally time to burn things and people?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearings
> 
> Beta-read by myauzo

“You’re late you dumb bastard.”

“Hello to you too, boss. Nice sunny day, isn’t it?”

Nigel was indeed ten minutes late this morning. He just had things to do, and by things, he meant making sure Adam was okay before leaving him. After the previous day and the night spent in his bed, he was worried for him. Nigel had not slept a lot, he had just enjoyed the moment, and listened to Adam’s calm sleep, making sure he was fine and not having nightmares. 

“Darko called,” said his boss. “Yesterday, late in the evening. But you weren’t at the studio, so I told him you’ll call back. Do it now, before the clients arrive. Hurry up. In the back shop, there is a laptop, you can video call him.”

Nigel thanked him and rushed in the back shop. Finally! Finally Darko wanted to contact him! He would finally be able to leave this shitty place and to punch cousin-dumbass. 

“Darko! So glad to finally hear from you, man!” Nigel said with enthusiasm when Darko answered the call.

“Hello Nigel. It’s been a long time indeed.”

“Almost eight fucking months yeah. So, tell me. What’s going on? Did you forget me or what?”

“More or less yeah, I confess.”

“What the hell? Seriously? I was joking when I said that. You forgot me? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“I had more important things on my mind, okay! I opened a new club and had to negotiate a lot with the previous owners.”

“Negotiate like real boring negotiations or something more spicy?”

“More spicy. A few killed and some injured on both sides. But it’s fine now, I own the place and it brings money. I knew you were safe in the US, and I had more important things to do than contacting you, that’s all.”

“Safe yeah. Working for your dumbass cousin, sleeping in his attic and being a fucking barista. Darko? Do you realize you made me be a fucking barista?”

“You needed to disappear for a while, he needed a cheap employee, it was a win-win situation. Even if he can’t stand you because you’re doing a bad job.”

“Don’t worry, I can’t stand him either. Him and his henchmen. I’m tired of the beatings. Can’t wait to break both of his legs.”

“You won’t touch him. Even if he treats you like this. Do you hear me?”

“Yeah I know. You’re an ass but you care about your family. Just his nose then.”

“Nigel!” 

“Just joking.” Nigel assured. Not really, he thought for himself. “So, tell me? Did you manage to transfer my money into an American account? When will I have access to it?”

“Yeah, the transfer is done, on four different accounts, in different banks. You should have the papers, cards and everything in a couple weeks. It took a while with the paperwork, but it was quite easy. Large amounts of money can be suspicious, but banks like rich people. They already love you, I’m sure.”

“Great. Can’t wait to move somewhere else, get a car and quit this shitty job.”

“I got my men to gather some information, and it seems like everybody thinks you’re dead, or at least not a threat anymore. So it’s time. Are you ready to stop being a barista and come back to the business where you belong?”

Darko started to describe a club he had bought in the US, in another city so Nigel would have to move, and about a large shipment of coke that would arrive in less than a month.   
Nigel didn’t really listen to Darko’s speech. A few weeks ago, maybe two months he would have said yes in the first second, no matter if it meant shooting some people or selling drugs or weapons or whatever. He would have said yes and asked for details immediately. 

Now... now, he had Adam. Well, he didn’t have him, but the guy had became really fucking important in his life. And even if he was accepting of Nigel’s past and wouldn’t try to make him change his mind, he would not like to see him going back to that life. 

Did he really want to go back to his old life? Go back to be Big Bad Nigel? Adam had told him he was a good man who had done bad things. Nigel had kindly laughed or smiled each time, saying it wasn’t true. But it had touched him in what he thought was a cold dead heart. Adam thought he could be good, and leave his past behind him. Just the thought was warming his heart. 

Maybe Darko was right. Maybe selling drugs and shooting guys was the world where he belonged. But maybe Adam was right. Maybe there was still hope for him, hope to do something good in his life, something he could be proud of. 

“Nigel, you’re not listening to a single word of what I’m saying.”

“Yeah. No. Sorry. I was thinking.”

“Are you ok? You seem lost.”

“Yeah I’m fine. I’m just... I’m not sure I wanna get back in this. I think... maybe I should leave that behind me and get a brand new life here. Maybe that part of me died in the streets of Bucharest when that cop shot me. Maybe I don’t want it to be back. I don’t fucking know, man.”

“What’s her name?”

“What?”

“Her name.” Darko sighed. “The girl you’re in love with. Don’t roll your eyes, you know what I mean. There is only one thing in this world that could make you want to change your life and everything, and that’s love. You love with so much intensity that it burns you. You almost died for love, because it’s how you are. So, tell me. Is she pretty?”

“I’m not dating anyone at the moment.”

“You little romantic bastard. Not even dating yet and already ready to change everything for her.”

“Not her.”

“Eh? Meaning?”

“Him. His name is Adam.”

“Oh. Okay. Surprising from you, considering some of your favorite slurs.”

“Never meant those homophobics slurs. Just... random swearing in the middle of other swearings.”

“I’m fine with that, you know? You, dating a man, I mean.” Darko assured.

“We are not dating. He’s just... I don’t know. He became important to me. More important than I thought.”

Slowly, Nigel told Darko the full story, from the first time Adam came to the cafe with Beth’s shitty friends to last night making sure Adam was fine. He smiled when he spoke about their evenings spent watching TV, and made Darko laugh when he described the frog t-shirt.

“Ah Nigel, Nigel. You’re so so lost, man! You’re so in love with this guy that you can’t even figure it out.”

“I’m not in love with Adam.”

“Oh yes you are. You so totally fucking are. You just haven’t realized it yet. That’s why I’m saying it, so you’ll get your head out of your ass. You love him. And he seems great. So, what’s the problem? You told me he was ten years younger than you? It’s not that much, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

“Nah, it’s not the problem. But he is just... so nice. Kind. Like, truly, honestly, deeply nice. He probably never did anything bad in his life. Why would he want somebody like me in his life?”

“He said you could be a good person, right? And that he never lied. So he must really think it. He really wants you in his life. Even considering your past.”

“Maybe. I’d like to be part of his life.” Nigel finally admitted.

“It took you a while to say it, I thought you would stay stuck on ‘I don’t know’. So, you want to be part of his life? You could be while being in my business, but you don’t want to bring that in his life. But you don’t want me to be mad or something because you left me. Is that a good summary?”

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t be mad, you know. You’re still my friend, Nigel. No matter if we work together or if you work in a day job with your little spaceman.”

“You sure?”

“I’m so goddamn sure. And if you ever change your mind, there will still be time to come back. You’re my friend, before being my business partner. I want you to be happy, that’s all. You love him. Invite him on a date, get him flowers or whatever romantic things you like. Let your fucking love consume you.”

“What if he rejects me?” Nigel asked with a tiny and insecure voice.

“And what if he accepts you? You could still be his friend. Who knows? Only time will tell..”

“You’re sure it will be fine if I don’t work on that coke shipment for you?”

“Yes, it will be a little tricky, not gonna lie, but it will be fine. I won’t let my cousin take care of that, he is not skilled enough. And... I don’t want you to hurt him, because he is family, but I can’t stand him either to be honest, he is rude, and can’t be trusted.”

“And he is so dumb.”

“Yeah, that too. I didn’t know he was treating you like that you know? I would have never accepted that.”

“Yeah I know, man. Don’t worry. Glad to hear you don’t like him.”

“I already have a couple names in mind, people who will take care of the shipment instead of him. Don’t worry about that. Take your little star on a date, give me news and send me an invitation for the wedding.”

Nigel laughed. He was so happy that Darko was fine with all of it, and was helping him understand his own thoughts.

“I’m going to have to hang up, I’ve got things to do. Do you need something before I leave?”

“Some cash, if you could?” Nigel asked. “Can’t take him on a nice date with the twenty bucks your cousin is giving me per week, and since it will take two weeks for to have access to my bank accounts...”

“Sure. A car too. I guess you’ll prefer to get your own soon, but you can use one of mine before. Yes, I have cars in the US, for when I visit. Don’t interrupt me. Tell my cousin to come talk with me for a couple minutes. I’ll tell him to give you some cash from me, and that you’re not working for him anymore. He will probably throw you out of his studio, so maybe you would prefer to wait these two weeks?”

“No, I’m leaving now. I’ll find a solution. I already sleep on Adam’s sofa almost every night, it will be fine.”

“With your magnificent frog t-shirt and your dinosaur shaped cookies. Gosh you’re such a teenager when you’re in love Nigel... But yeah, okay. Leaving now, cash, car. Noted. And errr... would you please not kill my cousin before leaving? I know he is an asshole, but I still don’t want him dead, okay?”

“Yeah, fine. If you want.”

“No breaking any part of him either.”

“Promised. Sadly. The things I’d do for you... But... do you care about the cafe?”

“Not really but don’t burn it or something like this. Attracting attention is not a good thing for us, ever. My cousin would restart at zero without that cafe, another one of my contacts would take the lead on my business in the US, but I’m fine with that. He is my cousin but he is quite incompetent. Just... discretion. Please. I understand you need your revenge. But don’t do anything silly.” 

“I’ll be nice. And.. Darko? Thank you so much.”

“Anytime.”

Nigel left the backshop and politely told his now ex-boss that Darko wanted to talk with him. He then sat on a chair to wait, he was certainly not going to work a single more minute here. Two of his coworkers had arrived, and he greeted them with a sign of the hand. One of them was gave him an idea...

“Hey, Mina? What would you do if you owned this place?”

“Fire the boss, first thing. Probably teach you how to make good tea after. Have a decent income and stop worrying about my rent. Why?”

“Nothing. Just an idea.” She looked at him for a couple of seconds, not understanding what he meant, and went back to work. 

Mina would be a great replacement, Nigel thought. Some money, a few phone calls... and cousin-asshole would have to find another place to stay. Nobody would be killed and nothing would be burnt. Or at least, the cafe wouldn’t be burnt, and Darko’s business here would stay hidden. Something else could burn. Something else would probably burn. This cousin owned many flammable things.

While he was waiting for the cousin to come back, Nigel went to the crappy studio in the attic. He didn’t have a lot of stuff, but he was still not going to leave it to that bastard. He gathered his clothes in the big backpack he had arrived with, added the book about the nebula Adam had given to him, his gun, the toiletries, and left. He didn’t need the couple bottles of cheap vodka he had left the last time he had slept here. Being with Adam was more than enough to drown his regrets and nightmares. 

“I spoke with Darko. He told me you wouldn’t work here anymore.” Said the cousin, back in the cafe. “And also that I should never have treated you like I did. On that, I disagree. You fucking deserved every single kick and insult. But now, he says that if I touch you again, I’ll have problems with him. So, good bye, and never come back.”

“He told you something else.”

The cousin sighed and handed him a thick brown envelope full of bucks and a car key. He probably had had the intention to keep them. 

“Take your cash and leave. And give me back my studio’s key.”

Nigel handed him the key and had a quick look at the envelope. There was at least three thousand dollars in it. Perfect. Enough for a great date and a few nights in a hotel, to give Adam some space. His little star needed his alone time to recharge. He said goodbye and good luck to his coworkers, made a mental note to find a way to steal the cafe from cousin-asshole and give it to Mina, and left, free for the first time since he had arrived in the US. 

He walked for a moment in the streets, no goal in mind, just happy to be here. First thing, he did was go into a phone shop and buy a smartphone and a phone subscription. He had Adam’s number written on a sticky note for weeks without having been able to use it, it was more than time for that to be over. And it would be easier to have access to the web to plan this wonderful first date. 

\- - -

At the end of the day, Nigel had planned everything for the loveliest date ever for the next afternoon. He knew Adam didn’t have any job interviews at that moment, he had texted him to be sure. And to give him his brand new number. He had even sent a selfie. Damn, Darko was right. He was a romantic teenager when he was in love. Adam had answered with a picture of the cover of the book he was reading.

A few days ago, Adam had told him about a very special exhibit about space. Reproduction at life size of the lunar module used in July 1969 when humankind had for the first time walked on the moon, space suits really used in more recent missions, big photos taken by telescopes, models, videos... Adam was so excited when he had told Nigel about it! He had spoken about it for almost half an hour, encouraged by Nigel’s nice comments, and had then completely lost his smile. All the tickets had already been sold, he had said, before he got the chance to get one, except the special and very expensive ones. There was no way he could see the exhibition. 

Nigel fetched Darko’s car, a big black Audi, not really his taste but still a very good car, and he drove to the exhibition center. Soon he was the owner of two VIP tickets for the space exhibit, with commented visit from a NASA engineer, a lunch in front of a space themed documentary that had never been shown before, exclusive memorabilia, and more important than everything, the possibility to visit the next day, one day before the public opening, meaning they would be almost alone. No crowd for his Adam. It had cost him more than half of what Darko had given him, but it was worth every single cent. 

Adam didn’t like being surprised, so Nigel planned to tell him everything in the evening, and to bring him flowers at the same time. He would drive them there, they would eat and watch that documentary, and then enjoy the day.. And in the evening... maybe he could take him to the restaurant? Adam wouldn’t like to eat something unusual twice in a day, so Nigel was not going to take any risk. They would decide the next day, depending on what Adam would like. 

Nigel parked the car in front of Adam’s apartment, smiling like only Adam could make him smile. He couldn’t wait to tell his little star about all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is starting to be long... I hope it’s not a problem. I just enjoy writing this way too much, so I’m inspired.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go to the exhibition!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta-read

Adam, I’ve got a surprise for you, for tomorrow afternoon.” said Nigel between two Star Trek episodes. “But I know you’re not always very comfortable with surprises and unplanned things. So, if you want, I’ll tell you what it is. If not, I’m keeping it a surprise. Your choice, just tell me.”

“Tomorrow afternoon? But you will be working at this moment, right?”

“No, it’s over. I’ll never prepare those stupid coffees again. Finally. Darko called me, and we talked. I’m free. I won’t work there again, and in two weeks, I’ll get access to my bank accounts. I’ll get enough money to start a new life somewhere.”

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know yet. For now, I borrowed one of Darko’s cars, and he gave me some cash while I’m waiting for my bank accounts. That’s all.”

“Are you going to... go back into the business, like you say?” Adam asked hesitantly. He was hoping for a no, but he would never ask that from Nigel. If he wanted to go back in there, Adam was fine, but worried, with that. If he didn’t want to, Adam was fine too. It was Nigel’s life, he liked him this way, and he would never tell him to change who he was. 

“I don’t think so. Darko told me it was fine, and that I could always come back later if I change my mind. I never did anything else in my life you know but... When you tell me that you’re sure I could be a good man, doing something else... well, I like to believe you.”

“I didn’t say you could be a good man.”

“What?”

“I said that you were a good man. Not could be.” Adam corrected. “You are a good man Nigel. I truly mean it. I would have never asked you to change, but I’m happy you’re deciding to try another way in life.”

“At least, I’ll try. I don’t know what I could do. The only thing I know is that I’ll never open a fucking cafe.”

“You have time to take a decision, but I understand for the cafe. You said you would have access to your money in two weeks, right?”

“Yeah. I think I’ll get a car at this moment. Darko’s is good but that’s not my taste. And I’ll buy a place to live, somewhere. I’ll see. Two weeks seem incredibly short and long at the same time. I never had free time on my hands like this. I’ll start by getting some clothes and a hotel in this city, tomorrow. I also need to plan to burn things, and maybe break someone a little bit, but it will have to wait a few weeks.”

“You want to burn things?” Adam gulped.

“Yeah. Darko doesn’t want me to burn the cafe or to hurt his cousin but I’ll find something. It’s great to be free from this bastard, but it’s not enough. He insulted me every single day for too long. He commanded and watched while his men were whipping me almost daily for too long. I need a revenge. I promise I won’t kill anyone. I said I wasn’t going back in that, so I won’t. But I need a little something to sooth the aches I have everywhere, including in my ego.”

“Fair enough yes.”

“You really think that?” Nigel said, very surprised. 

“I do. Maybe it’s not something I should think and I’m not a violent person, so I would never do that. But... when I was in school, no matter the year, there was always people to bully me, saying I was not normal, saying I was retarded, hiding my stuff, hitting me... I would have loved to get a revenge on them. It’s not the same case at all, but I think I understand why you want to do something about that.”

“If it happens again, I’ll destroy the bastard, promised. But I’m going to wait until I have access to my accounts, just in case Darko would change his mind. Clothes and hotel first, tomorrow. And maybe I’ll start sketching for a new tattoo.”

“You draw?”

“Sometimes. Not often these last years, but when I started working in clubs with Darko in Romania, I had learnt to draw and to tattoo. Mainly for clients of the clubs or gang members, that kind of things. Not very artistic pieces, more just signs and quick stuff. I even had an official license and everything. A real one!” Nigel laughed. “Not even a fake one. That’s probably one of the only legal things I did in my life.”

“You could become a tattoo artist then?”

“Legally yes. With some arrangements so my old foreign license would be good here. But after so many years, I probably forgot everything.”

“You could re-learn what you forgot.”

“I suppose. I don’t know. I’ve never been so lost to be honest. But I’m happy to be. Clothes and hotel first tomorrow, and maybe I’ll take a couple hours to see if I still can draw.”

“Why do you want to find an hotel? You could stay here. If you want. Not an obligation of course, I don’t want to force you to stay if you don’t want. And I don’t want to sound too clingy by suggesting this. Promised. I just want to say that if you want to stay, you are more than welcome. But you don’t have to. It’s your choice. I’d like that if you were staying but you surely have your reasons to prefer...” Adam mumbled nervously. He didn’t want Nigel to leave, but he didn’t want him to feel like he had to stay.

“Hey, hey, Adam! Calm down, everything is fine. I was just thinking about this because I don’t want to be a burden for you. I don’t want you to feel compelled to have me here. And I know you need quiet and lonely time to rest.”

“I can do that even if you live here, the appartment is big. I... I’d like you to stay. If that’s ok for you.”

“More than ok” Nigel smiled. “But promise me something: if I’m ever bothering you, stopping you for sleeping or resting, or taking too much of your personal space, tell me. I’m serious. Tell me. We’ll figure it out.”

Adam nodded, happy that Nigel was staying. He was probably supposed to say something. But what? Thanking him for staying? Maybe that was not needed. Adam smiled at Nigel and had a short eye contact with him. He then awkwardly patted his shoulder. Nigel was still smiling, so it was probably good.

“So? Do you want to know more about that surprise?”

“Just a little bit but not everything?”

\- -

The next day, Adam woke up ultra early, excited and impatient for this day, but he knew Nigel was still sleeping, so he did his best to stay silent. If Adam was enjoying his routines even for his waking up hour, Nigel didn’t care at all about his sleep schedule and was often up all the night or sleeping through half of the day. Of course he couldn’t do that while he was still working at the cafe, but now that he was free, he could finally sleep late in the morning. He had warned Adam about that, saying he would do his best to match Adam’s sleep schedule to not bother him, but that it would be something complicated for him. Adam had answered he was totally fine with that as long as Nigel didn’t wake him up at the wrong hour. 

Adam had a quick look in the living room. Nigel was still asleep, sprawled on his front on the sofa, one of his arms dangling on the side. He had said they would leave at 11 a.m. and it was only 8 for now. Adam retreated back in his room and tried to focus on his book.   
Nigel had given him very little details about this surprise, at his demand. But now his mind was endlessly looping, wondering what it could be. Nigel had told him that he would love it, that there wouldn’t be too many people, that it would be interesting and that he would drive them there so Adam wouldn’t have to deal with the living hell that was for him public transportation.   
And that was all. Maybe Nigel wanted to go to the cinema? At this time of the day, there wouldn’t be a lot of people. A documentary watched in a cinema would match all of Nigel’s clues. Yes, it was probably that. He couldn’t wait to get there. 

8:30am. Adam checked the living room one more time. Nigel was still sleeping, and Adam was fully ready.   
9am. Nigel was probably now dreaming, because Adam could see him moving a little bit, frowning, in his sleep. Or maybe it was a nightmare.   
At 9:30am, Adam gave up. Nigel was never going to wake up in time and they would be late and he would certainly be angry at Adam for not waking him up, even if he hadn’t asked for that. He silently walked near the sofa. Was he supposed to shake him? They were often doing that in movies, but it seemed really rude and Adam would have hated being woken up like this. Yelling maybe? Same problem. Switching on the lights? Hard for the eyes. Finally, Adam decided to pat him lightly on the shoulder with two fingers. Not getting any answer, he tried again, harder this time. 

Nigel jumped on his feet, his right hand holding Adam’s wrist so thighly he was hurting him, and his other hand clutching on his shirt collar, ready to strangle him. Even with messy hair and the frog teeshirt, his anger was terrifying. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Nigel whispered, his face whitening. He immediately released Adam who rushed at the opposite side of the room. 

“I’m sorry” Adam mumbled in a low voice. “But it’s past nine thirty and I was scared we would be late and that you would be angry at me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up. I’m so sorry.”

Nigel sat back on the sofa and hid his face in his hands.

“Goddamnit I’m so sorry Adam. You don’t have to be sorry, I’m the one who has to be so fucking sorry. I didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t mean to... attack you. Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? I know I can be... strong. Aggressive. When that kind of things happen. And I grabbed your wrist. Really sure?”

“I’m a little bit sore but it will be fine soon.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just... I’m not a good person to have in anybody’s life. I’m just... I was having a bad nightmare and... I took this habit over the years in Bucharest. Waking up ready to fight if I didn’t want to die. Saved me a couple times. I will leave if you want. Yes, it’s safer. I’m leaving. I’m so sorry for getting in your life. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m leaving. ” 

Nigel stood up on wobbly legs and stretched out his hand to grab his pack of cigarettes on the floor. 

“Nigel Amortalis. Stop suggesting you have to leave. Stop suggesting I want or need you to leave. You already did that several times, and my answer is still the same. I want you to stay. Do you hear me?”

Nigel nodded frantically and sit back, surprised by the way Adam was taking the lead. 

“You have scared me. You have hurt me. But now that you’re awake, I know I have nothing to be scared of anymore. My wrist is sore, but nothing too bad, it will be gone in a few days. You had a nightmare, and you have habits created by all your displeasing life experiences, it’s normal. I don’t hate you for this. It’s just making me sad to see that you never feel safe, to know that you have nightmares so bad that your reflex is to fight for your life when you wake up.”

Adam went to sit next to Nigel who startled away immediately, as to avoid Adam to have any contact with the disgusting and aggressive monster he was. But Adam sat closer and slowly removed Nigel’s hands from his face.

“You told me about your life. About what you lived and did. I know who I am having at home. I offered you to stay with me while knowing who you are. And I’m fine with who you were, are and will be. There is nothing to be sorry about. I’m just sad for you. You are safe here.”

Adam was still holding Nigel’s hands in his, and sudddenly realized he hadn’t asked for permission before touching him. But Nigel didn’t see to mind. Adam also realized that he was strangely comfortable about touching Nigel. He had done it without thinking, just naturally. That was unusual for him, always so aware of these things. He absently petted Nigel’s hands, feeling the strength of his fingers and noticing a scar on his left palm.

“You are safe here” Adam repeated. “And I know there would be... complicated moments for me, to be close to someone who had a life so different from mine. But I’m aware of that. And totally fine with that.”

“You’re too nice Adam.” Nigel whispered.

“I’m just stating the truth. You have a scar on your palm” Adam added to try to make Nigel talk about something else, like Nigel was doing for him when he was too nervous.

“It’s an old one, ten or eleven years maybe. A guy tried to stab me and got his knife through my hand. Luckily, he didn’t get any tendons or other important things. I have the matching one on the back of my hand, but it has almost entirely faded.”

“What did you do?”

“Took my gun with my other hand and shot him in the knee.”

“Did he die?”

“Probably. Darko threw him in the river after, and I don’t think somebody could swim like this.”

“I agree, it’s probably not possible. You should get ready. Not that I don’t want to stay next to you and talk, but you said you wanted to leave at eleven and you won’t get time to shower and have breakfast...”

Adam released his hands and stood up, heading for the kitchen. Nigel made coffee, arguing kindly that Adam’s coffee was always tasting like there was dirt in it, and Adam stayed with him while he was drinking it. 

“Do you mind if I smoke? I’ll open the window. Just one. I always smoke when I wake up. Especially after nightmares. So each time.”

“It’s a bad habit but ok, if you open the window and if you put on the dogs shirt for today.”

“What?”

“Your light blue shirt with the dogs. I like it. You forgot it here a few days ago and I washed and ironed it, it’s ready. You look cute in it. Is it a weird thing to tell that to someone?”

“A little bit” Nigel chuckled, exhaling smoke at the window. “But it’s fine. It’s more unexpected than weird, if that makes sense. Nobody ever called me cute.”

“Well it’s done now. It’s probably a good shirt to go to the cinema.”

“Who said we were going to the cinema?” Nigel grinned.

“You didn’t but it seemed logical. So, we are going there?”

“I’ll say nothing. You asked for clues yesterday instead of knowing everything, I gave you clues.”

“But not a lot!”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise anymore. I’m going to shower, I let you try to guess for a bit longer.”

\- -

”The modern art museum?”

“I won’t give you more clues, but it’s funny to hear you trying to guess. And no, not this museum. Not fond of that kind of art to be honest.”

They were finally in the car, heading for the surprise. The shower had a great effect of Nigel’s mood, and he had put on the dogs shirt like Adam wanted. His nightmare was forgotten, even if he was still feeling guilty about attacking Adam. Even from the driver seat, he could see the bruises that had started to form on Adam’s wrist. 

“The natural history museum?”

“No, try again.”

“Something sport related?”

“Fucking no. You don’t like that, and me neither.”

“Another museum?”

“No.”

“A party?”

“You don’t like parties, so no. And it’s a bit early for that.”

“A restaurant?”

“We will eat lunch there but that’s not the main part. I checked the menu by the way, they don’t have mac and cheese but they have something very close.” 

“Thanks, it’s very nice of you.”

“No, it’s normal. I want you to enjoy that day, not to struggle.”

Adam stayed silent for a minute before speaking again.

“Is it a date?”

“It is if you want it to be.”

“Do you want it to be a date?”

“I do, but I won’t force anything. It can also just be a nice day with a friend. I thought about it like a date, and I should have told you. But... I’ll consider it as you want.”

Adam thought for a couple of seconds.

“I’d like it to be a date.”

\- -

“When are we going to arrive?”

“Soon.”

“You already said that five minutes ago.” Adam sighed.

“Well, sooner than earlier then.”

“That’s not very precise.”

“No indeed. You should close your eyes for the last couple of minutes of the trip. Just for the surprise.”

Adam laughed but closed his eyes anyway. A few minutes after, Nigel was parking Darko’s car in front of the exhibition center. As the exhibition wasn’t opened yet except for people with VIP tickets like them, the parking lot was mainly empty, and Nigel managed to get a spot right in front of the entrance. So, when Adam would open his eyes, the first thing he would see would be the giant sign covering all the building wall and advertising the exhibition. 

“Adam? We are arrived. You can open your eyes.”

Adam did and stared at the sign for several seconds.

“You borrowed Darko’s car so you could bring me to the Space Exhibition? Because I’ve told you about it.”

“Yeah.” Nigel smiled.

“But it opens tomorrow and I don’t have a ticket.” Adam apologized. “They were sold out, I told you so. I appreciate that you got us there but...”

“I have tickets for both of us. Regular tickets were sold out yes. Not the VIP tour and goodies thingies ones. It opens tomorrow for everybody. For you, and the five or six other people who got those tickets, it opens now. No crowd, no noise, just you and your space things. Come on, get out of the car.”

Nigel got out of the car himself and opened Adam’s door, who was still staring at the sign with big bright eyes. He slowly got out, his eyes still stuck, not believing what was happening. 

“Do you like my surprise?”

“But these tickets were so expensive! Especially so close to the opening date. You shouldn’t have spent so much just for me and...”

“Don’t mind the money, that’s not the question. Do you like our date?”

“Damn Nigel I love it!” Adam screamed with joy, lauching himself in Nigel’s arms who chuckled kindly, because it was the first time Adam was swearing in front of him. And because he was so happy that his Little Star was loving his surprise. And happy that Adam was currently hugging him like crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love forging names based on latin or Ancient Greek. I never do that when I write novels because it’s always fiction not based on Earth, so it wouldn’t have meaning. But for this fic, I can! 
> 
> The name “Amortalis” I have chosen for Nigel is based on two latin words: “amor”, meaning love, and “mortalis”, that means deadly. Deadly Love. Loving until death. I thought it was fitting.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice date and sweet smell of fuel in the morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of violence, swearings because Nigel is Nigel
> 
> Not beta-read
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments <3 I can’t express how happy it makes me. Just... thank you. It means the world to me

At his surprise, Nigel himself had found this exhibition interesting and even exciting. Adam, of course, had been ecstatic the whole day. They had seen every single video at least twice, read all the signs and documents, visited everything, enjoyed a full commented tour for themselves alone and got big bag of goodies. They were currently placed on the backseat of the car, except for the cap Adam was still wearing, and for the plushie star he had kept on his knees for the trip.   
Nigel had taken a lot of pictures of Adam reading stuff or talking with their guide and he was planning to get printed the picture he has taken of him on a space-rover-moon-something replica. He had forgotten the name of this space vehicle but the picture was great. Darko would probably tell him that he was a fucking romantic bastard or something but it was fine for him. He was a fucking romantic bastard. 

After this day spent running everywhere and talking with unknown people, Adam was exhausted and was currently asleep on the passenger seat, his head resting against the window. Nigel was not worried, Adam had explained that social interactions were often exhausting for asperger persons, as well as unusual situations, so it was perfectly normal for him to be tired after this long day.   
Their guide, impressed by Adam’s knowledge about space in general and also spacial exploration, had promised he would get a call from the HR service in charge of the exhibition. They were apparently a little bit short on staff, and Adam would be a valuable recruit for them. It was not sure yet, and this job would be only for a few weeks, but Adam was hoping it would happen. Of course it would be complicated for him to work with all the public and the social interactions it implied, and Nigel was worried about that, but Adam had told him that it would probably be fine if it was just for a short period of time. The fact that space was his main specific interest would help, he had explained. 

Nigel parked the car in front of Adam’s building and, not having the heart to wake him up from his peaceful sleep, decided to carry him in his arms. Adam was almost as tall as him, even if his attitude often made him look smaller, but Nigel was strong enough to carry him without any problems. 

“Mrrrf?”

“Sleep, Little Star. I’m carrying you to your appartment. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“’m ‘n adult, I can walk...” Adam yawned.

“Nah it’s fine, we’re almost there.”

They made it to the appartment without meeting Beth, and Nigel was very happy about that. She would have spoiled their day, and he didn’t really want to discuss why he had decided to carry Adam. 

“Sofa or bed?” Nigel asked, unsure of what he should do now that Adam was half awake in his arms. 

“Sofa please. I can’t get in my bed with my shoes and my day clothes.”

“Sure. There you are. I’m coming back in a minute, gonna pick up the bags and my cigarettes in the car.”

Nigel took the time to smoke a cigarette before coming back. Adam was fully awake now, even if he was still looking very tired. 

“It’s past the hour and I’m exhausted, but I’m hungry.”

“We could order take-out food and have it delivered here. I’m too tired to cook and want to stay on this sofa forever.” Nigel sighed. “This Japanese place you like maybe? Or pizza?”

“I never ordered pizza in my life. I never order take-out food by phone, to be honest. And I don’t like the idea of having to talk with the delivery person. What if I didn’t know what to say?”

“Understandable, but I’ll make the call and answer the door, don’t worry.”

\- -

“The taste of this pizza reminds me of Mac&cheese. It’s good.”

“That’s why I got this one for you.”

“You know me well. I really loved this day, Nigel. It was so great, and so interesting and I loved everything! I’m so so glad and grateful you made me this surprise. That’s the best date ever. Not that I had a lot of dates in my life.” Adam added, frowning his eyebrows and thinking. “That’s the only date I had in my life. But it was the best date I could have ever dreamt of, it that makes sense.”

“I’m happy you liked it. And surprised you didn’t have at least one date with Beth. She told me you never invited her to one, but I thought she had.”

“No, she didn’t. After we broke up, one of her friends explained me that, as a man, I was the one who was supposed to invite her. I didn’t really understand. Is it really something only the man is supposed to do in a straight relationship?”

“No, that’s bullshit. It’s not important, the gender of the person who invites the other one. You just... invite the person. The end. No rules.”

“I thought it was that but I wasn’t sure. Her friend seemed very confident about that.”

“I don’t know all of Beth’s friends, but the ones I met seem to be boring and dumb, if you want to have my opinion.”

“I like your opinion about this. May I ask you something? Or two.”

“Always. Two or more if you want. Just ask.”

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” Adam asked, blushing. “Just sleeping. Because it was nice, the other day. I was feeling very bad, and you made everything better.”

“Oh yes, gladly. I appreciated it too, even if I didn’t sleep.”

“I stopped you from sleeping? Oh no, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know! I didn’t want that, I shouldn’t have suggested it...”

“No, you didn’t do anything. I stayed awake to make sure you were ok, that’s all. And I still got some rest, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not. I swear. You’re fucking not a burden. I chose to stay awake this night. Don’t worry. You had other questions?”

“Yes.” Adam blushed even more. “In the future, some day... May I wash your hair again? Oh no, it sounds weird, I’m sorry. I just liked doing it, that time when your ribs were bruised and you couldn’t move a lot. It was just to help you but I enjoyed it. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know how to say those things and I don’t have a lot of filters when I talk. ”

“There is nothing to be sorry about. Not for that, not for suggesting to sleep in the same bed. And yes, why not. I enjoyed it too, this kind of little demonstration of affection feels really great.” Nigel admitted. “So yes, gladly. Just not tonight, because I don’t plan to take a bath now.”

“You’re sure it’s not weird to ask those questions?”

“Not weird to me. Do you want to go to bed now? We’ll have leftovers of pizza for breakfast.”

“I would never eat cold pizza for breakfast!”

“I would.” Nigel laughed. “Best breakfast for a hungover morning. And breakfast and lunch have always been more or less the same thing for me as I often stay up all night.”

“Are you planning to stay up all night today?” Adam asked, trying to hide his disappointment.

“No, I’m going to bed when you’ll go. I plan to take all the place and to not snore, that’s all.”

The next morning, Adam woke up in the comfy warmth of Nigel’s arms. They had started the night each on their side of the bed but had apparently moved during their sleep. Nigel was still sleeping and Adam hesitated for a second to wake him up before dropping the idea. It was his usual hour to get up, but the day before had been so exhausted that he could use a little bit more of sleep. He moved just a little bit and shyly put his arm around Nigel’s middle section before drifting back to sleep.

\- -

A few days later, Adam got a phone call from the exhibition center and started to work there three days a week, to reinforce their staff on the busiest days. Nigel insisted to drive him back and forth so he wouldn’t start his day exhausted because of the public transportation. And after all, it was Darko who was paying for the gas. 

On these days, now that he didn’t have to work at the cafe anymore, Nigel started to plan his revenge on the cousin, a revenge that didn’t involve putting the cafe or anybody on fire. He had also taken the time to contact Darko again, using Adam’s computer, to make sure things were going smoothly for his bank accounts and to ask him to send him his car from Bucharest. Adam had been surprised by this. 

“You were talking about buying a new one here, wouldn’t it be easier to do that? Shipping a car must be very expensive.”

“It is, but after eight months without news, Darko owes me a lot of favors. And it’s less expensive than buying the same car again here.”

“It must be a very expensive car then.”

“You have no idea. I’m sure you’ll like it, it’s a convertible car. We’ll take it to go stargaze outside of the city if you want.”

“I’d love that. I’ll teach you the name of the stars.”

\- - -

Even when Nigel finally got access to his new bank accounts, nothing changed in the routines he had built with Adam. Except one morning, when Adam was having breakfast alone and Nigel came back after having spent the night out, smelling like fuel and with a very satisfied grin. 

“You look so happy that I won’t complain too much but... Nigel, you reek. Fuel, right?”

“Fuel yeah. Efficiently used, you can believe me. I’m going to shower.”

“Did you...?”

“Burn things? I promised I wouldn’t lie to you again so... yeah. I did. I’ll try to be a good man later. It was something I had on my mind since so fucking long.”

“You burnt down the cafe? I thought Darko had told you to leave it alone.”

“Not the cafe, no. Darko has insisted, and Mina and the others would lose their jobs. Do you really want to know the details or... ? I didn’t kill anybody, promised.”

“I do. Your boss was so awful so... Yes, I’d like to know.”

“His collection of old precious cars and his house. I let the dogs out before setting it on fire.”

“Did you bring them to a shelter or did you just let them out?”

Nigel smiled fondly at this question. He had told Adam what his intentions were, a few days ago. When Adam had learnt that Darko’s cousin had dogs, he had made Nigel promised that he wouldn’t hurt them. Not that he had ever wanted to hurt those dogs who hadn’t done anything bad to him, but he still had promised very seriously.

“They were not looking good, you would have hated that, Little Star. Malnourished, missing patches of fur, scars... Poor dogs. Didn’t have the heart to let them alone like this, so I dropped them to a shelter. Far away from here so nobody will link the fire to them, and to me. I didn’t burn the trees and the garden. Just wrote “Asshole” in big letters on the grass with fuel and burnt that as well. Looks great, it’s visible from far away. And, errr... that’s probably childish of me, but I hate paperwork and...”

“A lot of people don’t like paperwork. I really don’t like that either, it makes me nervous.”

“I don’t think it makes him nervous, but he for sure is too lazy to do it well. I burnt all the papers I could find, everything that was a the cafe. Even his ID, his passport and his driving license. Both the legal stuff and all the things related to Darko’s business, even if it’s mostly hidden and not written, by safety. He always lets that at the cafe in case he would be arrested. That’s childish, but I’m happy when I think to all the crap he is going to have to go through to get all of these back through the administrative services. And Darko can’t say anything. Cousin-asshole is not hurt, the cafe is not burnt. Perfect.”

“He might get hurt by some of his henchmen or business partners if they know that he doesn’t have anything anymore.” Adam said, not really bothered by the topic. 

“Perhaps. I would have liked to do it myself but watching the show will be great too. And someone changed all the locks of the cafe.”

“Someone?”

“Yeah someone. Who did that quickly after dealing with these migthy fires. It’s been a busy night. The bastard should discover that soon. And he will regret to have put fake security cameras instead of real ones.”

“But why the locks?”

“You’ll know soon. I’m sure he is going to call.”

As expected, Nigel’s phone started to ring a few minutes later. He picked up with a large smile and put it on speaker.  
“Hello? Who’s calling?”

“You perfectly know who’s calling you dumb fuck! What the hell did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t get inside my own cafe! I can see Mina inside, getting ready for the day. I can’t open any of the doors! And she told me that if I continued to try to get in HER cafe, she would call the cops. What did you do for fuck’s sake?! ”

“You can’t get inside because your keys don’t match the locks. She can get inside because hers do.” Nigel said calmly, savouring the moment. “The owner has the keys, logical, isn’t it? So of course she can get in, and not you.”

“I don’t understand. She doesn’t own that place.”

“She does now.”

“I didn’t sell it!”

“No. But by a happy suite of events, all the papers are at her name. Property deed, contracts, everything. All official and registered under the law. She can call the cops whenever she wants. A fucking dumbass is trying to get inside her property.”

“How?!”

“Got in contact with some people. Paid some of them. Poof, previous papers and everything are gone. Boom, new ones. Money is almost magic you know. I even got some help from two men working for you. Not anymore the boss at the Stardust Cafe, and I guess you won’t stay the boss of Darko’s business here for long. I wonder which one of them is going to kill you to take the place. Wanna bet? My money goes on Pete, the guy with the red jacket. Aims very well, and will be better than you.”

“You can’t bet on my death!”

“I already did. You should leave this city very quickly. Maybe not for your countryside house, if you want some advice.”

“Why?” The cousin whines, lost and defeated.

“Fuel reeks.”

Nigel hung up after these last words. Adam was looking at him, apparently very impressed.

“Is he really going to get killed?”

“Not sure, but probably, if he doesn’t run away fast enough. I promised to Darko to not break his cousin and to not burn the cafe. I always keep my promises.”

“Indeed. In a twisted way.”

“Yeah. I’ll try to be a good man now. But I’ll still be me. And damn, it was so fucking relieving! Even better than just shooting him. And this woman, Mina, at the cafe. She is nice, smart and hard working. And she was broke. Seemed to be for the best to arrange that with her. She disagreed at first. But when she saw the property deed at her name, she changed her mind and agreed. She won’t tell anything. It’s a win-win situation and I almost feel like I did something good.”

“You did something good. In a weird way but you did. Did you really bet on his death?”

“Nah, I would have had to meet his men for that, and as most of them enjoyed beating me, I prefered to avoid that. But my money would really be on Pete. Never took part to the beatings, was only observing from a distance. And the others seem to obey his commands. Yeah, he would be good. Even Darko heard of him.”

“And... do you feel better now?” Adam asked.

“I feel great. Are you sure you’re fine with all of that? If you’re not, I’ll leave, I’ll understand if you’re better without me and ...”

“Stop doing that! Stop suggesting I would be better without you! I don’t like it when you do that.”

“Sorry.” Nigel mumbled.

“I’m fine with that. You did way worse in your life, and I’m fine with that too. Just... take a shower? Please? You smell so bad. Then I’ll be totally fine with all of that.”

\- -

Now that he had his sweet revenge, Nigel didn’t know what to do with his life anymore. He was still driving Adam back and forth to the exhibition center for work, but he wasn’t really doing anything else. At least he was now using his own car, finally arrived from Romania. A silver Bentley Continental GT cabriolet, wonderful convertible car in which he was so impatient to go stargaze with Adam. His Little Star was very enthusiastic about this project, but he had asked to wait until his job at the space exhibition would be finished. He was enjoying it, but working for hours in the middle of the crowd was really grueling for him, and he was spending most of his time at home sleeping. Nigel had assured him it could wait. He also had decided to wait before taking Adam on another date. He was so tired he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. 

“I know I usually sleep in the car on the way back home.”Adam said as they were leaving the exhibition center’s parking lot on his last day of work there.

Nigel’s heart jumped at this use of the word home. He never really had a place he could call home. And even if he didn’t dare to call Adam’s appartment his home, the younger man was frequently calling it their home, at Nigel’s joy. 

“But tonight, I’d like to talk, if it’s fine for you.” Adam asked.

“Of course it’s fine. I can drive and talk, even if people in this fucking country can’t seem to be able to drive correctly. Tell me. Is there any problem?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I got a text from Beth. She is inviting me at a party, in three days. She knew it was my last day of work today, I had told her that when I started. She also says that she loves the place where she is living now. And to be honest, I’m quite happy she is not my neighbor anymore.”

“I’m very happy she moved.” Nigel admitted. “But her text seems to be bothering you, am I right? Is it because she is suggesting a party?”

“Yes, I don’t like that, as you know.”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Want me to help you write an answer? Without swearings.”

“No, thanks, I’ll find something but... I’d like to go.”

“Totally fine too. In three days right? It’s good, you’ll get time to rest before.”

“I’d like to go with you.”

Nigel didn’t answer immediately. Living with Adam, sharing the same bed (even if it was purely platonic), spending evenings together, spending hundreds of dollars in a single day for a date, driving him to work in the morning and coming to pick him up at the end of the day... that was fine. Going at Beth’s party with him, that sounded more official, in a way.

“Her text says I can bring my new partner with me. I told her a few weeks ago that I was dating someone, nothing more. Now, she wants to meet this person. I know you don’t like her, but I’d like you to come with me. She doesn’t like you but I don’t care about her opinion. I just don’t know how she will react when she will know I’m dating you.”

“Are you sure you’d like to have me here? It’s not an official event, but it’s still more official to present me as your partner in front of her and her friends, than what we have actually.”

“I like what we have actually. But...”

“But?”

“But I want more. I want... to call you my boyfriend? To consider our relationship as a couple? If that’s fine with you?”

“It’s much more than fine! I didn’t suggest it because I didn’t now how you were feeling about that kind of labels. But fucking yes! I’ll bring you to the bestest dates ever, now that your job is finished and that you will have some energy.”

“I’m happy with you. I just want to brag about it? It’s maybe rude.”

“It’s not. And even if it was, it feels good sometimes. See.”

Nigel opened the window and yelled: “Adam Raki’s my boyfriend y’all!” 

Nobody answered as they were on the highway, but it made Adam chuckle and blush.

“I’ll come at her party with you. And I’ll brag all the evening and tell every single person that your my boyfriend.” Nigel assured. 

“Her text also explains how to get there by the subway, as she knows I don’t have a car.”

“My boyfriend” Nigel said, savouring the word on his tongue. “won’t get there by the subway. We will go with my car. Or I can borrow Darko’s again, if you prefer.”

“Which one is the most expensive and would be the most impressive in front of her friends?”

“Mine.”

“We’ll take yours then. They have always pity me, poor dumb Adam who will never be loved and who will never have success in anything in life. I want, I want... I want to show them how wrong they were. To brag a little bit, like you said.”

“I was right to dislike them. I may be big bad Nigel, killer, drug dealer and everything but... I’m genuinely happy you’ve asked me to come with you at that party. To make us a little bit official, in a way.”

“And I’m happy you agreed.”

“Great, we both happy.”

“Would you stop at Central Park on the way back home please?”

“If you want but... why? It’s already the night, it will be closed.”

“There is a way to get in. I want to take you on a date too.”

Nigel parked the car and followed Adam in the dark lanes. His little star has taken his hand when they had been out of the car and they were now walking together in the silent park.

“We are not supposed to be there but we won’t meet anybody. It’s desert at this time of the day.” Adam explained.

“Then, why are you talking so low?”

“To not scare them. Look.”

Nigel looked in the direction Adam was pointing with his finger and after a few seconds, spotted three raccoons in the dark. 

“Why are they...”

“Shhh” Adam whispered. “You’re going to scare them.”

Nigel stayed quiet and they watched the raccoons living their lifes for several minutes, before crawling under a bush and disappearing in the night.

“I love coming here to watch them” Adam said with his voice back to a normal volume. “It’s not their place, this world is not made for them, but they live here. It’s a very special and important place for me.”

“It’s a very nice place. I had no idea raccoons could live here. Are you coming often? I don’t remember seeing you leaving in the middle of the night.”

“No, I don’t. I was too tired lately, and even in general, I don’t come here very often. But I still love it. And I don’t bring a lot of people here.”

“Did you bring Beth here?”

“You sound jealous.”

“Maybe a bit.” Nigel admitted. 

“Yes I brought her here, but she complained all the time that it was cold and boring. She ended up using the idea to write a book for children, I was happy because it meant she had at least liked it a little bit. And the book was cute. She named one of the raccoon characters like me.”

“You’re much better than a raccoon.”

“I was disappointed when she didn’t seem to like it. And happy to see she had liked it enough to base her book on that.”

“Are they always here when you come?”

“Almost, if I’m patient enough to wait for them to come out of their hideout. But I don’t come often, I don’t always want to go accross the city at night like this.”

“I’ll come with you, walking or by car. If you want. I like this place.”

“I’d love that. It’s a very special place to me, and I’m happy you like it too. It’s probably weird.”

“It’s not.” Nigel said, facing Adam and taking his other hand in his. “It’s the most romantic date I’ve ever had.”

“Are you sure? It’s not an expensive restaurant or something like this. And it’s not as great as the date you invited me to.”

“I’m fucking sure. Money doesn’t define if a date is good or not. This is a great date because it’s you. You brought me in a place that is important and meaningful for you. What else could I ask for? It’s perfect, Adam. Really.”

Adam smiled and looked in Nigel’s dark amber eyes for a second. Nigel smiled too, fondly, happily. Just happy to be there with Adam, in this place that was so special for him. Happy to have a place in the life of his Little Star.   
Still holding his hands, Nigel closed the distance between them and kissed Adam. Just a quick chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth, almost on his cheek.   
Adam didn’t move. He didn’t leave either. Nigel stepped back to his previous place. He released Adam’s hands, but Adam didn’t let him go and caught Nigel’s hands in his instead. 

“Nigel? Kiss me again. Please.”

Nigel chuckled and obeyed, kissing Adam on the corner of his lips again. Adam turned his head and kissed him back. Shyly, slowly, just his lips on his lover’s mouth. He gently put his hands against Nigel’s back and squeezed him shyly. Nigel squeezed him back, his right hand trailing until Adam’s nape, carefully petting his curly hair, their lips still sealed. 

They weren’t in an expensive restaurant or in a romantic teahouse. They were outside in Central Park, at night, at an hour where nobody was supposed to be there. But there they were. Together under the stars. Of course it was the best date ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was longer than the previous ones, I hope it was fine!
> 
> I’m going to try to stick to this rythm for posting: every Friday, and sometimes also on Tuesday’s, depending of how I am. I’ll try to publish twice a week as much as I can, but I prefer not making it a promise, in case my mental health would say no to this. 
> 
> Chapters 9 to 12 are already written and will be edited soon.   
> Still got plots and ideas for a lot of chapters I think, I hope you’re not bored with this story :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darko wants to know what the hell happened to his cousin (even if he already has a little idea), and Adam and Nigel get ready for Beth’s party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta-read 
> 
> One more time, thank you so much for your comments <3 kudos and comments are really life.

From his bedroom where he was reading, Adam heard the alarm from the video-chat software installed on his computer. He was almost never using it, but as the ringing didn’t stop, he put his book on his bed and went to the living room to check. The ringing stopped and restarted only a few seconds after. The caller was apparently motivated. 

“Calling: Darko” was displayed on the screen. 

Adam hesitated for a second. Nigel wasn’t there, so it would probably be better to tell Darko to call back later. He clicked on the answering button. 

“Hello! I know you were calling Nigel and not me but he is out for now, he went to buy cigarettes and to get some groceries. But he will be back soon and I’ll tell him to call you back”. Adam said in one breath. 

“You’re Adam, right?”

“Yes but... how do you know?”

“Nigel sent me a picture and he talks about you each time we chat. He calls you his Little Star, it’s cute. He has always been a freaking romantic.” Darko sighed. “He will probably shower you with gifts and spend hours looking at you like if you were the most precious thing in the world, because he loves so fucking strongly. Tell me... By any chance, do you know if he is involved in the fire of a house and several cars?”

“Errr... I ... yes, I know if he is involved. But it’s his life, so I won’t tell anything more. I’ll tell him to call you back.”

“Don’t look so scared. After all, he respected what I had said... and I can’t really blame him. Still gonna yell for a while.”

“I don’t like it when people yell. I’ll tell him to use a headset.”

Darko laughed. “Damn he was right when he told me you were unique! You’re fine with him putting things on fire, but yelling in your living-room, not that much?!”

“This man... your cousin if I understood well, has been really bad with him. Worse than a bully. I knew he was going to do something, and yes I’m fine with that. But I’m not fine with noise, especially if it’s from people yelling.”

“So you’re ok with his past and everything? He told you about that?”

“Yes, he told me. Weeks ago, even before we started to date. The violence, the drugs, the guns, killing people, the clubs, Gabbi, you. He told me everything. I didn’t ask him to leave this world, or to not work in that business with you anymore, or to stop being who he is. It’s not the kind of life I’d like to have, it’s scary and bad but... yes, I’m fine with that. It’s a part of him, and I don’t want to change him He is a good man.”

“It really touches him you know? The fact that you truly think he is a good man. I’m not mad at him for not wanting this life anymore. I’m glad he found you. You’re probably the best thing that has happened in his life. What’s the noise behind you? Is it Nigel coming back?”

“Yes, it’s him. Wait a second, please.”

Adam went to the kitchen where Nigel was storing things into the fridge.   
“Sorry I took so long, an old man was messing with the cashier, telling her sexist jokes when she was being polite just because it’s her fucking job. Told me I was an rude young man when I swore, so I told him he was an old bastard and that I was going to break his knees.”

“And did you... ?”

“Nah, he left. Cashier seemed relieved.”

“Darko has called while you were away.”

“Oh really? Good. I’m going to call him back soon then. Just finishing to store this.”

“He is still connected, I told him to wait when I heard you coming back. He wanted to know if you had burnt things recently. Use the headset please, he has planned to yell.”

“He barks more than he bites, but sure, I’m going to use it if you want. I’m not gonna make him wait for too long if he wants to talk about that. I got you flowers by the way.”

Nigel gave Adam a small bouquet of pink roses he had let hidden in a bag and squeezed his hand on his way to the living room. Adam stayed in the kitchen with his flowers in his hands, a soft smile lighting up his face. He took his time to put them in water, hearing without wanting it a part of what Nigel was saying.   
Nigel was not at all trying to deny. Yes, he had burnt the cousin’s house. And his cars. And his papers. Yes, he had managed to make him lose the cafe. Yes, someone would probably kill him soon. But not him! Rules not broken!

“I guess he had it coming...” Darko mumbled after a while. “Pete will be better than him at this.”

“I hope you won’t regret your cousin too much. I’m pretty sure he won’t live for long, if he isn’t smart enough to run. And he is not. He is a dumbass.”

“Yeah he is. I know. I won’t regret him that much no. I protected him due to habit, because he is family. But no, I won’t regret him. He called me earlier, to tell me about his house and everything. He is scared of you now. Still hoping he will run away somewhere. We will probably never hear about him again.”

“Good thing.”

“I’m sorry he was so bad with you. I needed to you out of Romania quickly, I had him as a back-up... I never thought he would be like this with you.”

“It’s fine, man. I got new scars and a new enemy, that’s not very unusual. It’s fine. I’ve got Adam and I’m in touch with you again. What else could I ask for?”

“I talked a couple of minutes with your Adam. He seems to be a great guy.”

“More than you could imagine.”

“You’re an idiot when you’re in love. But that’s also why I like you. Do you know what are you going to do now?”

“No, not really. I thought I could maybe fix cars, I always liked that. Or to be a tattoo artist.”

“We were young when you were tattooing stuff in the back of clubs at night! But I still remember. You had a steady hand, to be able to draw with coke and alcohol in your blood.” Darko chuckled.

“Yeah. But I meant a real tattoo artist, and without coke involved. I don’t know. I have time to decide, I’ve got enough money for a very long time. I’m just going to do everything I can for Adam. Seems to be a good start.”

“It seems to be yeah, you big softie.”

“I’m not...”

“You are, shut up. I hope we’ll stay in touch even if we’re not working together anymore.”

“Sure thing! Call whenever you want.”

“Will do. I’ll tell you if my cousin is planning something against you, but honestly, I don’t think it will happen. Enjoy your dates and your romantic stuff, softie, and see you.”

“Don’t call me like that!”

“Can’t stop me. Bye softie Nigel!”

Darko hung up while Nigel was still rolling his eyes. 

“Is everything ok with him? Or is there any troubles?” Adam asked, coming back in the room when he heard Nigel putting back the headset on the table.

“Totally fine. And his fucking cousin shouldn’t bother us anymore. Darko called me a softie. Little bastard. I like him. Happy to be in touch with him again.”

“Glad to hear that. I finished to put away the groceries while you two were talking. But what’s in the big bag? I didn’t open it.”

“It’s a protective jacket. Believe me or not, but I like to dress stylishly. That’s my new tailored suit. I ordered it when I got my money back. I’ll wear it for Beth’s party.”

“Her text precised that she wanted the guests to dress nicely but maybe it’s a little bit too much, don’t you think?”

“Oh no it’s not. First, I really like tailored suits. And then... These people, they only had pity for you. Never seen you as an adult, never seen you as someone who could be successful in life, never seen you as someone with feelings. Rude bastards. I just want to you help you showing them how wrong they are.”

“So... fancy car, handsome boyfriend with a neat suit and everything?”

“Hells yeah.” Nigel grinned. “Make them jealous. A sweet revenge, if you want. And I needed a suit anyway, so it’s not an expense just for that occasion.”

“I have to admit that I’m kinda impatient to see how Beth will react. Should I dress like you?”

“If you want. Three days is a bit short for a tailored suit but we could find you a good ready-made one. But don’t feel pressured by this! I really enjoy dressing like this, so it’s not a problem for me. But it wouldn’t be usual clothes for you so... your choice. No obligation at all. And you don’t have to decide right now, take your time.”

Adam nodded, not sure of what he wanted. He wanted to see Nigel in a fancy suit, that was a sure thing. He didn’t want to hurt Beth, even if he wasn’t seeing her as a friend anymore but just as someone he knew and appreciated more or less. But after all... it wouldn’t hurt anybody to just brag a little bit at this party, right? Beth, and especially her friends, had always pitied him, and talked to him like if he was a kid who couldn’t get anything right. The one who never does anything in life. Who would never be good enough. He never had anything to be proud of. Being with Nigel was not something to be proud of, or to be ashamed, it was just normal. But... it was very tempting to get a little revenge indeed. 

\- -

Adam had no precise idea of where to find a good suit, but Nigel seemed to be very well versed in that topic and, after some research on the web to find addresses, he drove them in a little and almost desert street Adam had never been into, not far from the crowded streets. Only a couple of people were quickly walking from a place to another. 

“I thought we were going to a mall or something like this.” Adam said. “I don’t know this place.”

“Me neither, I found the address earlier. But I know this brand from reputation. We will find you something great.”

“I’m not sure we should be here...” Adam answered, looking through a shop window. The shop seemed to be very small, and only one suit was displayed, with a small price tag on the floor. A small tag but a very high price. “This suit they are displaying looks great but... Nigel, I can’t. I’m unemployed once again, I can’t afford that...”

“I can. Bad guy life pays well. Get in, Little Star.”

“I can’t accept that Nigel, it’s way too much. You’re spoiling me.”

“And I’m happy to do that. Please? You did so much for me. Let me spoil you a little bit. You deserve it, and I would be happy to do that for you.”

“Darko had warned me.”

“Warned you? About what?

“That you would shower me with gifts. And that you were a...errr, I’m quoting him, a freaking romantic.”

“You have no idea.” Nigel grinned.

“Ok, let’s go then.”

They spent almost two hours in the shop. There was indeed no time to make from scratch a tailored suit. Three days was really not enough, the tailor had apologized. But it was possible to perfectly adapt a ready-made one, and they spent a lot of time to find one. Adam had very specific tastes for fabric and shapes, nothing too rough, nothing oppressive for his breath or moves... But they managed to find something that would fit perfectly, and without a lot of adjustments. They would just have to pick it the next day in the afternoon. 

“I don’t know how to thank you.” Adam mumbled once they were out of the tailor’s shop.

“You don’t have to. And you already did so much for me that no matter what I’ll do, it will never been enough to repay you.”

“I don’t understand. I haven’t done anything special?”

“You saw further than Darko’s cousin’s insults and talked to me like another human being. You came often just to talk with me. You brought me a book because you thought I would like it. And I did. You didn’t make fun of me for being injured because guys were beating me each day for entertainment. You fixed me when I was injured, and you barely knew me the first time you did that. You just wanted to help. You invited me at your home to help me. You gave me a place to stay. You sometimes call this place “our home” and each time I struggle to not cry from emotion. You changed your routines to integrate me in your life. You made me a place in your heart. You accept me as I am, with my flaws, my life, my swearings, my cigarettes, my nightmares and my aggressivity.”

Nigel knelt in front of Adam, on the pavement, not caring about what people could think. He took Adam’s hand in his and kissed his knuckles.   
“You are the first person in this world who told me I was a good person. That my life had value. Me. As bad as I am. With someone like you, someone so nice and smart. I’ll never do enough to deserve you, but I’ll do my best. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t know what I did to meet an angel like you. You’re the light in my darkness. Adam Raki, I love you.”

With a last kiss on Adam’s knuckles, Nigel got up from the floor and hugged him, smiling fondly when Adam hugged him back.

“And you don’t have to answer to my romantic speech if you don’t know how to.” Nigel whispered in his ear. “I don’t mind. You’re here with me, and that’s the only thing that matters.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing them getting slowly ready for this party is stressing me as much as if I had to go myself ^^' But Adam has his Nigel, it will be fine for him <3 
> 
> Some of the next chapters (13 and later) will be a little bit dark, I’m sorry. It’s just bad mental health day every day lately. But I promise the situation for Adam and Nigel will get better after! Just wanted to warn you that some chapters will be sad, later.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some shopping and sweet time together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Nigel swears, as usual
> 
> Your comments really support me in these tough times <3 I’ll never be able to thank you enough for all your love 
> 
> Not beta read

Adam hadn’t answered. Nigel hadn’t minded, as he had said. Words were not needed in a moment like this. They had stayed for a while on the pavement, until the rain made them rush back into the car. Luckily, Nigel had let the soft top closed this day.

On their way back, they made a stop at a big mall for groceries shopping because Nigel had forgotten half of the list this morning, and for some items they were missing. Adam didn’t like these big places, crowded and loud, but with Nigel’s hand in his, it was easier. They even made a stop at a library where Adam picked some books about specific space things.  
Nigel, still a fucking romantic bastard, let Adam alone in the science section of the library for a few minutes, just long enough to have a look at a nearby plushies store and to come back with a big raccoon plushie wrapped in a paper decorated with small rockets. 

“I’ll find a name for him” Adam promised after getting the raccoon out of the paper, once back in the car. “But...”

“Don’t tell me I shouldn’t have.”

“That’s indeed what I was going to say.”

“So, don’t. Or I’ll need to find inspiration for a new love speech. Not that I would complain, I could do that all the fucking day to be honest.”

“But we have ice cream in the car boot, it’s going to melt if we don’t go back home soon.”

“True. So, don’t say it and find a name for the raccoon while I’m trying to get out of this fucking parking lot where people park like donkeys.”

They came back home, put away the groceries in the kitchen, including the not-yet-melted ice cream and crashed on the sofa with Scotty the raccoon. 

“Beth had texted me earlier, when I was at the library.” Adam sighed, petting Scotty Raccoon’s ears. “I should call her back.”

“Or just text her. Or send her an email. To avoid having to call, I mean. Or ignore her. My fave option is the last one.”

“How surprising.” Adam laughed. “But no, I think I’m going to call. She just wants me to confirm that I’ll be at her party.”

“Good luck. Gonna take a bath while you’re speaking with her. Call me if you need inspiration for swearings or threats.”

Adam nodded and rubbed his hands on his shirt, as always when he was nervous. He really didn’t like to call, but it would be faster than a dozen of messages to answer all her detailed questions. He wasn’t planning to use Nigel’s offer of swearings and threats, but it was quite calming to know he was not far, just in another room, ready to help if needed. 

“Hello Beth. I was just calling to confirm I would be at your party, with my partner.”

“Hello Adam, yes I’m fine, thanks for asking, and you? The weather is really nice lately.”

“I don’t understand. It has rained today.” He said, frowning even if she couldn’t see him.

“Come on, there is nothing to understand. I was just suggesting some small talk, like everybody do when they call someone.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Nevermind. I’m glad you’re coming! And with someone, even better. Do I know this person?”

“No you don’t.”

Beth knew Nigel, but not the real Nigel, just the awful person described by his ex-boss. So she didn’t really know him, right? So... it wasn’t a lie. She had never wanted to know Nigel. 

“Tell me a little bit more! You can’t build suspense like this.”

“We will arrive at nine pm, as you asked in your first text. And not by public transportation, by car. So no need to send me details about the bus stop or anything.”

“You really don’t want to give me more details about this person now?”

“Why would I? It doesn’t have any purpose. Just know it’s a very important person to me.”

“You’re probably right, it’s the most important. But I can’t wait to meet her!”

Adam didn’t correct the pronoun and hung up shortly after. Not that he was ashamed to be with a man, but he knew it was still not very well accepted by some people. Nigel would probably punch anybody who would dare having homophobic words at this party, and it was a comforting thought, even if he didn’t like violence. 

He sighed and wandered aimlessly in the appartment. This party was anguishing him way more than what he had admitted. He knew a little bit some of Beth’s friends who would certainly be there and he didn’t like them. He didn’t want to please them, but he was scared of what they would say. Scared of how their words would hurt him. Again. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Damnit!” Nigel yelled from the bathroom. 

His nervous thoughts forgotten, Adam quickly went next to the door.   
“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am. I just dropped my fucking pack of cigarettes in the water. I just wanted to relax and smoke one in the bathtube and I dropped the pack. Shit. Sorry for having alarmed you.”

“It’s fine, I was not on the phone anymore and it’s a nice distraction from my thoughts. Do you want me to bring you the pack you left on the table?”

“Oh yes, please. Or just one. If it doesn’t bother you.”

“Why would it bother me to bring you that?” Adam asked when he got in the bathroom with the pack of cigarettes in his hand. “I’m the one who suggested to bring them to so it’s totally fine.”

“I meant, making you uncomfortable to be here while I’m naked in the bathtube.”

“It’s not the first time. And the bubbles on the water cover everything below your waist.”

“I was injured and you had to help me. It’s not the same.”

“I promise I’m fine with that.”

Adam handed him the cigarettes and carefully put the wet ones on the side of the sink before staying awkwardly in the middle of the room, not really knowing if he was supposed to leave now or not, and not knowing where he was supposed to look.

“Enjoying the view?” Nigel chuckled. 

Adam blushed. He was, indeed, enjoying the view of Nigel’s strong body, stretching lazily in the bathtube. 

“Errr... yes? Sorry?”

Nigel laughed. “No need to be sorry for that. And as you said, bubbles cover everything down there.”

Adam mumbled something unintelligible while gesturing vaguely in Nigel’s direction.

“What did you say?”

“May I wash your hair? You said the other day that I could. But maybe you already did it and I don’t know if...”

“I’d love that. And I won’t smoke while you’re here. I was in such a bad condition the last time that I didn’t enjoy it as the fullest. For the shampoo, pick the blue bottle please. I prefer this one. And tell me. What’s going on? You’re not bothered by seeing me half naked, you said it, and it’s not the first time. And you’re enjoying the view. Remind me to sleep bare-chested sometimes. Just for the view. Bringing me my cigarettes is not what’s bothering you either. But I can see you’re not ok. Let me help you? Tell me what’s going on.”

Adam sat on the edge of the bathtube near Nigel’s head, and started to lightly ruffle his hair, before slowly adding some water and combing the strands with his fingers. It was relaxing, both the action itself and the way Nigel closed his eyes with a little satisfied grunt.

“I called Beth. Not for long, just to confirm we would be there. She doesn’t know I’m with you and she is sure I’m going to come with a woman. I didn’t want to keep talking so I didn’t tell anything more. I’m just so scared. Not especially about how she will react when she will know that I’m with a man, I think she is a little bit more open-minded than this. Her friends... it depends. I don’t know all of them, and not very well, and I don’t want to. So I don’t know what they think about that. It’s not really important, what they think, they are not part of my life.”

Adam poured some shampoo in his hand and resumed his ruffling, carefully massaging Nigel’s scalp. 

“Damn, you’re so good at this, Little Star. But continue. I’m listening.”

“I have heard their remarks since I know Beth. Their pity, the way they see me as different and, so, not someone who mattered. The kid Beth was bringing into parties by pity, not talking with anyone or sometimes talking too much, leaving early and not drinking. I enjoy a drink from time to time, but not in the same quantities as them. I just... I don’t want to see the way they are looking at me. Don’t want to hear their little “oh he is different. He will always be alone” or “You don’t know him? Well, you know, he is not...”. I’m tired of that. I know I’m different. I just don’t want them to insult me for that. And they don’t do that very discretly, as they think I don’t understand.”

“You don’t have to be ashamed of who you are, but they should be ashamed of how they treat you. We are going to go, so you’ll be able to see Beth, chat with her a little bit, because you haven’t seen her since a long time now and miss her. It will be nice, I’m sure you’ll enjoy talking with her. She is not great, I don’t like her, but you had good times together, so it should be good.”

“It’s true, I’ll be happy to see her. I miss her, despite... everything.”

“But you don’t miss her friends, and it’s totally normal. They are nothing for you. And they are rude. Adam, I swear I’ll try to not be violent. But if they hurt you, no matter how, I’ll be violent. That’s how I am. I care too much about you to let them say anything like this. I want you to enjoy this party, and to enjoy it myself. I won’t let anyone ruin it for you. And we’ll leave as early as you want.”

Adam rinsed Nigel’s hair very carefully to not put a single drop of water in his eyes and continued to pet his now clear strands.

“I love your hair. And it’s relaxing.” Adam said, like an apology. 

“Feel free to do that even when I’m not in the bathtube. It feels great.”

“I will. I’m glad you’re coming to this party with me, even if I’m scared.”

“I swear I won’t let anybody hurt you. Not that you can’t defend yourself against them but...”

“I don’t really know how. Talking, social stuff, knowing what to do... Not my thing. Fighting either.”

“But it’s totally my fucking thing. I don’t see you as a kid who can’t defend himself or whatever. Just someone with different skills. I can kick asses and burn things, you are way smarter than I am and you know so many things. Different skills. But if one of them hurt you, no matter how, I’ll break their nose. Not because I think you can’t do it. But because that’s how I am. Darko says that I love with too much intensity, that I love with so much strengh that it burns me. It’s probably true. I’ll fucking do anything for love.”

Nigel grabbed Adam’s hand and kissed his knuckles, like he had done earlier in the street.   
“I love you, and big bad Nigel protects whom he loves. You’ll enjoy this party. I’ll take care of the bad sides. Don’t worry about anything. Now, I’m going to get out of here, because the water is starting to be cold, and I’ll put on these new pajamas I got earlier. We are going to eat, because it’s almost time, and then we will eat ice cream in front of the tv. How does that sound?”

“It sounds perfect.” Adam smiled. 

By the time Nigel got out of the bathroom, Adam had set up the dining table in the living room. He chuckled when he was that Nigel was wearing the new pj’s like he had said. He had picked these ones to be able to wash the frog teeshirt sometimes, and because it had a raccoon head in front. It was written “You’re trash” above the head, and “I love trash!” below.

“I thought we could eat there instead of in the kitchen for once. I’d like to watch a four-hours long movie, but not to move my bedtime too much. Is it ok?” Adam asked.

“Totally ok to eat there yeah. But... four hours? What the hell is that?”

“The extended version of The Lord Of The Rings. Have you seen it?”

“Only a part of the short version, when it was on tv once. I enjoyed it, but never watched the other movies, or even all of this one. I was busy with other things and didn’t have a lot of time for entertainment. And Gabbi didn’t like that kind of movies.”

Adam did his best to not comment each scene, and was very happy when he saw that Nigel was very concentrated on the screen, really enjoying the story. 

“I never ate ice cream straight from the container.” Adam frowned when Nigel gave him one. “It doesn’t seem very logical.”

“Not logical, just tasty. Now sit with me and ssssh. Lord Elrond’s talking.”

Adam chuckled and sit right next to Nigel, allowing himself to lean a little bit against him and put his head on his shoulder. Nigel put his head against Adam’s, and they watch the movie in silence. 

Two hours later, the movie was still going on but they had finished the ice cream and let the containers on the floor (“No Adam, it’s fine, we’ll throw them away after. They can stay here for now.”) and had changed positions. Adam was afraid to fall asleep due to the late hour so he had removed his head from Nigel’s shoulder and had sit straight as usual, with his hands on his knees, until Nigel decided to lie down on his side with his head on Adam’s lap. Adam had removed his hands from his knees to make room for his lover and was now petting his hair, sometimes pulling on a strand in front of a scene particularly intense. 

\- - -

“I’m so lucky to have you.” Adam whispered in the night, later, when they were already in bed. 

Nigel immediately woke up from his half-sleep and reached Adam’s hand under the covers. 

“I still can’t believe I have you in my life.” Adam murmured. “What did I do to be so lucky? How am I going to live when everything is going to stop and when my life is going to go shit again? I feel so lucky and happy that I’m scared.”

“Why would it stop?” Nigel whispered too. He squeezed Adam’s hand lightly. 

“Because it’s too much. Too beautiful. Every time I had something good in my life, it ended up badly, or something bad happened. As to compensate for the good things. I’m not the hero of the story, of any story. I’m so happy right now. But it won’t last.”

“Life is full of good and bad things, my Little Star. Bad things will always happen. It doesn’t mean the good ones will stop.”

“It has always stopped. Even with Beth, who said she wanted to understand me. Then she left me alone. I’m scared of when it will happen again. I’m so lucky and happy to have you. It’s... not for me. To be happy.”

“I won’t leave you, Adam. And you have the right to be happy, like everybody.”

“Why would you stay with someone like me? People don’t like me. I’m too...”

“Do you want me to leave you?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then, why would I do it? Darko told you I was loving with such a strong intensity that it was burning in me. I loved only twice in my life. I loved Gabbi, and I have been awful when she wanted to leave, even if now, I’m in peace with that. And I love you. With an even stronger intensity.”

Nigel moved, fumbled with the covers and finally removed them totally because of their lack of cooperation. He took Adam in his arms, a hand on his back to squeeze him tightly and the other behind his head, stroking his hair.

“I won’t leave. I understand that you’re scared, but I won’t leave. Maybe we’re just both lucky bastards for having found each other. Bad things will happen, but we will face them together. Things will change, bad things will happen, things will stop, because that’s life. But I’ll be there with you. I promised you to not ever lie to you again. I always keep my promises. I won’t leave. I’m not lying. I’ll be with you as long as you’ll want me at your side.”

“I’ll always want to be with you.”

“Then I’ll always be here for you.”

Nigel let Adam cry his feelings and his fears in the crook of his neck, Adam throwing almost aggressively his arms around him, trying to control his panicked movements and his nails clawing harshly into Nigel’s back. 

“I’m sorry” Adam hiccuped. “I’m always scared and panicking and...”

“It’s fine, Little Star. You’re safe. You’re just overwhelmed with feelings and the stress of Beth’s party and everything. You have the right to not be ok. It will pass. I’m not angry or disappointed or anything. And I’m not leaving.”

Nigel lied on his back, still holding Adam in his arms. 

“Sleep, Little Star. I’ll still be there tomorrow morning. And the other mornings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing fluffy cheesy scene like the hair washing one <3
> 
> I’m a big LOTR nerd, that’s why I chose this movie for them to watch 
> 
> Next chapter... Beth’s party!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally time for Beth’s party!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearing, mentions of violence, homophobic slurs
> 
> Not beta-read
> 
> I was not supposed to post that before Tuesday but I’m writing faster than I am posting so... Time to post a little bit more than usual!

The next morning, Adam was feeling better and apologized for his behavior of the last night. Nigel assured him again and again that it was fine.

“You are very nervous because of this party and it was too much, that’s all. It’s fine. Promised. Do you want to call her to ask about the other guests or something? Maybe it would help.”

“I don’t like making phone calls, one yesterday was enough. It should be fine. I’m less anxious than yesterday. And so happy you’re coming.”

Later in the day, Adam was trying his best to not let his anxiety rise too high while they were getting ready.   
“Have you started to read one of the books you picked at the library yesterday?” Nigel asked.

“Yes, but only a little bit. Why?”

“I’m trying to get you distracted. I noticed that talking about one of your specific interests was relaxing for you.”

“It’s true, it’s relaxing.” Adam admitted. “But I don’t want to be ...”

“Don’t say you’re being annoying or I’ll finish the last icea cream container and take Scotty Raccoon on my side of the bed every night.”

“That’s petty.”

“Yeah, totally. But I don’t like it when you talk badly about yourself. So I’m threatening the ice cream.”

“Big bad Nigel threatening innocent ice cream and kidnapping a plushie. You sound dangerous.” Adam laughed. 

“I made you laugh, that was my goal. Talk about the book, or something else. Just to keep your mind busy, it will help.”

Adam nodded, even if Nigel couldn’t see him as they were not in the same room, and started to talk about the differences between the short and the extended version of the first Lord Of The Rings movie they had seen the previous evening. While talking, he finished to dress, enjoying how he was looking in the suit Nigel had bought for him. Way better than uncomfortable one he was usually wearing for unsuccessful job interviews. He was finishing to tie his bowtie correctly with the help of a video tutorial when Nigel, clean shaven and fully ready, got in the room. 

Nigel was dressed fully in black, shoes, slacks, waistcoat, jacket and shirt, with the last two buttons opened. The only patch of color was his pocketkerchief, deep crimson touch in the middle of the dark. Silver cufflinks were discretely shining on his sleeves, matching his metallic watch strap and his hair. He smiled kindly to Adam, a bright smile baring his teeth and making his eyes shine with happiness. 

Adam turned to look at him from head to toes. Nigel was looking dangerous like this, and powerful, almost feral, like a warrior from an old legend.

“You’re so handsome.” Adam whispered, blushing immediately when he realized he had said that out loud. 

“I wanted to be at my best for you. I guess it’s a success.”

“Total success yes.” Adam confirmed. He let his hands trail onto Nigel’s arms and chest, stopping for a second at his collar before leaning into him to steal a kiss. “So handsome. And all for me.”

“All yours, yes. You look amazing.” Nigel sighed before returning the kiss. “Are you ready? We have a world to impress.”

\- - 

Despite taking the wrong turn twice and blaming the GPS for that, they arrived in front of Beth’s in time.   
“Can’t find any place to park” Nigel grumbled. “She of course had to live in a place with three fucking parking spots for like five houses. You should get out of the car and go, or you’re going to be late. I’m going to park into another street and I’ll arrive as soon as possible. Is it fine for you to go alone?”

“Yes, as long as you join me soon.”

“I will, for sure. Just a few minutes to find a spot. You’ve got your phone? Just in case I would need a longer time.”

Adam confirmed he had it, carefully tucked in the interior pocket of his brand new jacket. He had decided to not take his usual bag for once, because it didn’t look cool with his clothes. He got out of the car, waved at Nigel who waved back before leaving to find a spot to park, and walked to Beth’s door. He breathed deeply three times and rang. She opened the door shortly after.

“Adam! Just in time! I’m happy to see you! Get in, don’t stay in front of the door. Everybody is already here. Where is your mysterious girlfriend? Did you forget her at home?”

“I’m happy to see you too.” Adam smiled shyly. “And no, he is just parking the car, we couldn’t find a spot in front. He’ll be there soon.”

She didn’t seem to notice the use of the pronoun “he” and dragged him into the big living room, full with people chatting and laughing. Beth presented him to the ones he didn’t know, and even if he didn’t remember them, he supposed he knew the other ones and greeted them as politely as he could.

“I had never seen you dressed so elegantly.” Beth commented. “It really suits you.”

“Thank you, that’s very nice.”

“Is this suit her idea or...?”

“His idea yes and...”

Beth finally seemed to acknowledge that Adam was using masculine pronouns, but she didn’t get time to say anything about it. One of her friends, standing in front of the window, was calling everybody.  
“Hey Beth! Look at the car that is being parked in front! You didn’t tell us you had rich neighbors. Or maybe it’s one of your guests’ car? It looks so luxurious and fancy.”

Beth had a look through the window to check, as well as the other persons in the room.   
“I don’t know this car, I don’t think it’s one of the neighbor’s...”

“I can’t recognize the model for sure from here” another guest commented, “but it seems to be a Bentley.”

“It’s a Bentley Continental GT cabriolet” Adam precised, having recognized Nigel’s car at the first glance.

“I didn’t know you were interested by cars” The guest frowned. “I thought you were just... Beth’s weird friend with his space stuff.”

“I don’t know much about cars.” Adam answered, ignoring the end of the sentence to focus, savouring what he was going to say. “I just know about this one, because I came here with it. It’s my boyfriend who is parking it.”

The room went silent.   
“This car is probably as expensive as the appartment.” Beth finally said to break the silence. “It’s ... err... it’s impressive. And err... you’re gay now?”

“Always knew he was a freak.” Someone commented behind Adam. 

Stay calm, he said to himself. Nigel would be there very soon now. 

“I guess I could be defined as bi? Or gay, yes?” He answered to Beth. “I don’t know, I haven’t really questioned that, it’s not important. He is important.”

“You’re right.” Beth smiled. “It’s not important as long as you are happy with him.”

“I’m very happy with him.”

“Wow, he looks so sexy from here!” Commented someone near the window. 

“From closer too.” Adam grinned, looking at the floor instead of at the person who had talked. 

“I feel like I recognize...” Beth started, looking suspiciously at Adam before being interrupted by knocks at the door. 

One of her friends went to open and Nigel got in. Adam released the breathing he hadn’t realized he was holding. Nothing could go bad now. 

“Oh my god. Adam. You are dating NIGEL?” Beth asked, horrified. 

“I am.”

“But... he is dangerous! He is bad! He is rude! He has nothing good in him!”

“Hello Beth” Nigel smiled, all fangs, angles and dark eyes. “Can’t say that I’m happy to see you, I see that you haven’t changed.”

“Hello. I...errr...”

“Wasn’t expecting me. Yeah I know. But I couldn’t let my boyfriend come here alone, right?”

“Yes, I guess. I’m.. errr... going to...” Beth muttered. She vaguely made a gesture toward the buffet and left quickly. 

“I promise I didn’t want her to leave.” Nigel said. “Or at least, not officially. Got lucky, someone left the spot and I managed to get it. Are you okay?” He asked Adam with a low voice, before hugging him for a second.

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you. I’m glad you are here.”

Another guest, probably a friend of Beth’s, Adam didn’t know, stepped next to them and started to talk with Nigel about his car. Bored by their chat, Adam left with a discret sign to Nigel to tell him everything was fine, and joined Beth and a few of her friends, some of them he had already met at the cafe or when they were dating. Nothing on the buffet was really tempting, so Adam just took some potato chips to nibble and keep his hands busy. 

“I never thought you would be coming with a man.” Beth said after a while. “But I’m totally fine with that, of course. Just surprised.”

“But you’re not fine with the fact that this man is Nigel.”

“Indeed. He is not... he is not good. I told you there were rumors around the Stardust Cafe, even if it’s a great place. Weird men always watching from the back shop, strange boxes of unknown things stored there... The owner seemed to be a very nice man but... everything around... it’s hiding something. I haven’t been there since a while, as I moved here but...”

“It’s a new owner now” One of the women said. “It’s one of the old employes who is in charge now. It’s even better than before. I haven’t seen the previous boss since weeks, I guess he has moved.”

“Oh I didn’t know! Great to hear that it’s better.”

“Nigel doesn’t work there anymore.” Adam added. 

“He stopped working there, the boss changed and it’s now better?” Beth summarized while Adam nodded. She put her hand on his shoulder in a gesture that was supposed to be comforting, Adam thought. Or maybe to get closer to him and make him understand she cared. It was not very important, and as it was her, he didn’t mind the contact, so he didn’t move to escape. 

“And don’t you think it could be related, him leaving and the place getting better?” She continued.

“No, it’s because of the new owner. Nigel left before she became the boss.”

“Still sounds suspicious...”

“It’s just that you don’t like him, even when he and I were just friends. I don’t ask you to like him, just to accept him. And to accept that I care about him, that’s all. You only see his bad sides, and especially the fake image the preivous boss of the cafe was showing of him! He is a good person with a great heart.”

“How can someone as sensible as you are can tolerate his behavior?” Said the women who had talked earlier about the new owner. 

Now, Adam was recognizing her. She was the one Nigel had nearly smacked when she had her hand on Adam’s shoulder, months ago at the cafe. He probably looked at her in the wrong way, because she smiled and went next to him. Maybe he had an inviting smile? He wasn’t sure, he was just relieved to finally have recognized someone here, beside Beth. She put her hand on the small of his back. Probably a nice gesture, he thought. Still unwelcomed. He tensed, his whole body rigid, uncomfortable with this intrusion.

“He was rude at the cafe because everybody was against him.” Adam explained, trying to stay calm. “And it’s totally understandable. But he is not like this for real. Or just a bit.”

“I still can think you could have found way better. I admit that he looks good, and that he seems to have a lot of money, according to the car.”

“It’s a comfy car, and it’s convertible. We’ll go stargaze in it soon.” Adam smiled. 

“But being handsome and rich is not enough to be someone with whom building a relationship” Beth continued without stopping at Adam’s interruption, supported by the positive mumbles of her friends next to her. “Do you understand? Adam, I don’t want to tell you what to do with your life, but I don’t think you are able to realize...”

“I’m perfectly able to realize what I want in my life” He spat. “I want him. I don’t care if he is rich or whatever. I want him because he is him. That’s all. I don’t... need advices or to be told I can’t deal with my life and feelings. I’m happy with him. I thought you would be happy for me.”

“I am! I’m just... not sure he is the right person for you.”

“I’m sure he is.”

“I could present you some of my friends you know... women you could close with... people who are better than him.” Beth suggested, trying to be nice and to play matchmaker for single women who had not asked anything.

“No, thanks. They are probably nice but no. I’m happy with him. He is happy with me.”

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“He told me he was. And he never lies to me. Him.”

“And since when are you able to understand what people mean?!”

“I’m not stupid! I’m not talented for that but I’m still able to know I trust him! I’m happy with him, he is happy with me, and I believe him!”

“You shouldn’t.”

“He should. He can believe me and he knows it.” Nigel said as he arrived near the little group. “I’m so fucking happy with him.”

“I thought you were talking with...” Beth muttered, disappointed.

“Your friend who likes cars? Yeah, I was. She is interesting, it was a cool chat. But now I’m here. And... I’m not like you think I am, like my previous boss had told and showed you I was. But I’m still a possessive little shit. Stop touching him. I don’t like that, and it makes him uncomfortable.”

Beth removed her hand cautiously but her friend kept hers in place, trying to drag Adam in her direction in a protective gesture. Beth had told her earlier that Nigel was dangerous, and poor Adam naive and weak, so she was trying to do her best to protect him. Without any bad intentions, just trusting what her friend had said and genuinely wanting to help.

“I’m not joking. You hand. Now. I’m possessive as fuck, don’t touch what’s mine or you’ll regret it.”

She removed her hand with a little sorry glance toward Beth.

“I didn’t have bad intentions...” She apologized to Adam.

“It’s fine.” He tried to smile without looking at her, relieved when Nigel slid his arm around his waist.

“Adam” Beth said with an assured voice, totally ignoring Nigel. “I still think it’s a bad decision. I still think you’re not safe. I still think he is rude, bad, drugged, stupid and mean. But you don’t want to be helped, so I can’t do anything. Just know that, if you’re having... problems, someday, with him, and need help, you’ll always be welcome to contact me, even if we aren’t really friends anymore. Alright?”

“Understood. Thanks. I won’t need that help but thanks for your concerns.”

She smiled and left to talk with her other guests, followed by the others, leaving Adam and Nigel alone in front of the buffet.

“I’m sorry” Adam whispered. “For what she said. And everything.”

“You don’t have to be. It’s not your fault. Are you still okay? I didn’t hear everything but it seemed be a harsh chat.”

“I’ll be fine. It was harsh yes, but it’s over now, thanks to you. It’s better. This woman, with her arm on my back... I believe her when she says she didn’t have any bad intentions.”

“Me too. But I still wanted her to move. I was telling the truth when I said I was possessive. I would never stop you from doing things or seeing people or whatever. But you were uncomfortable. And I was so fucking jealous she was touching MY boyfriend. Let’s go to the buffet, ok? I’m hungry.”

“I can’t find anything I like. Everything is too... unusual. Complicated. I don’t like that. I won’t say it to Beth of course, she probably spent hours cooking all of this.”

“She could have prepared something she knew you would have liked but it’s probably asking for too much from her. There are slices of fruits on this side of the table, maybe it would be fine?”

Adam went to inspect the plate of fruits while Nigel fetched them drinks, politely refusing the heavily alcoholic beverage someone was trying to give him.

“No thanks, really. I’m driving after and already had a drink earlier. Gonna stick to the softs now.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.” Beth noticed, as she was back in their area to pick up food. “I can’t remember how many times I went to the Stardust Cafe and you were literally stinking of cheap alcohol.”

“I’m driving” He repeated. “I don’t want to have an accident, especially not as I’m driving Adam. I’m careful with him. I don’t really drink anymore, just a glass or something from time to time.”

“Hard to believe someone like you could change so much, from alcoholic mess to caring boyfriend.”

“Before, I didn’t have Adam, that’s all. I was... in a bad place, mentally. Now I’ve him.”

The next couple of hours of the party went without any new incidents. Nigel and Adam talked with some of the guests, mainly small talking and another passionate chat about cars with Angie, the person Nigel had spoken with earlier. Adam still thought it was quite boring, but prefered to stay with Nigel without talking rather than being trapped between Beth and others like he had been earlier. Even if it was boring, it was nice to listen to this passionate woman talking about cars, as it was always nice to listen to someone speaking about their passion. 

A very late guest finally arrived, almost three hours after Adam and Nigel, and Beth presented him as her actual boyfriend, met months ago.   
“I didn’t know she was with someone again” Adam said with a voice low enough so only Nigel could hear him. “I hope she is happy.”

“You’re too nice with her.”

“Well, it balances the fact that she is not nice at all with you and me.”

Nigel laughed loudly and patted Adam on the shoulder.

“Maybe it does yeah.”

“Nigel?” Asked Angie. “It’s getting late and I’m working tomorrow, so I’m leaving. But you wanted to have a look at my Chevy. So if you’re still interested, now is the moment.”

“Oh yes sure! I’m coming. Adam, you coming too? Her car is an old Chevrolet Impala, very nice one.”

“No thanks, I don’t really care about cars, sorry. I’m going to wait for you here and... I think we’ll leave soon too?”

“Yes sure. I’ll be back soon.” 

Nigel brushed his lips against Adam’s and left with Angie who was now happily telling him about how she had fixed an important part of the engine. Adam took the remaining fruits on the plate and sat on a chair in a corner. He was better here than outside when it was freezing cold, as long as nobody was bothering him again.

“Hey, I’m Mike.” A loud voice said. “Beth told me you were Adam.”

Adam looked up and recognized the man who had arrived late, Beth’s new boyfriend. He shook his hand hesitantly, without a word. Mike sat next to Adam, with another one of Beth’s friend. He had met Beth thanks to this common friend, he said with a smile.

“So you’re Adam, her ex.”

“Yes. We didn’t stay together for a very long time.”

“Yeah, she told me that. That it wasn’t possible with you. It’s true that you seem to be a little bit of a weirdo. Never getting her on a date? Damn man, that’s bad! But I’m glad you messed up, or I wouldn’t have met her.”

“I didn’t know she wanted to go on a date. I didn’t understand. She should have said it.”

“You should have known. But she told me you were kinda retarded, yeah? So I guess it’s normal.”

“I’m not retarded. And it’s an insult.”

“Relax! I’m just joking.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You’re not funny” Mike whined, sipping half of his glass. “She was right to dump you. We should get married in a year or so.”

“If she doesn’t dump you before.” Adam said, calmly. It would be over soon, he could deal with that, with the noise, the light, and with this rude guy. Nigel would be back soon after having seen this car, and they would leave. 

“Why would she do that? I’m normal, me.” The man laughed.

Adam realized Mike was probably half drunk, and was continuing to drink, but it wasn’t an excuse. Decided to not let things get worse, Adam didn’t answer. Bad idea.

“Can’t even talk correctly, mh? Damn, you’re a stupid kid, no? She was right when she told me you would never do anything in life, and that you weren’t able to love. Success is not for you. You saw that Bentley in front? Not for you, that kind of success.”

“Actually it’s my boyfriend’s car. That kind of success IS for me too. And I’m perfectly able to love.”

“Your boyfriend?” He laughed, spilling what was left of his drink. “Do you hear that?” he said to his equally drunk friend who was laughing too. “Damnit, Beth really got the wrong number with you, a retarded faggot!”

Adam stood up and started to walk in the direction of the door. He didn’t know how to answer, he was exhausted, and having a meltdown now would be the worse thing ever. Leaving was the best option. He could wait for Nigel next to the Bentley.

“Hey, don’t leave, kid!” Mike said. “Come on, don’t be so easily offended! I’m joking.”

“No you’re not! You’re thinking every single word!” Adam yelled. 

Oh no, he thought. Too late. He could feel his body tensing and his moves starting to be erratic and uncontrollable. The room went silent after his scream, everybody looking at them. 

“Leave me alone! Why are you insulting me? I did nothing bad to you! Why are you bothering me?” Adam continued to yell, his face hidden in his hands to hide his tears, scratching his skin in panic. 

“Hush, kid, there’s nothing bad. Come on...” Mike grabbed his wrist and Adam’s world froze. He removed his arm as fast and strongly as possible and was rewarded with a vicious crack and a noise of pain from Mike, but he didn’t hear it. The door. He needed to reach the door. To leave. Now. 

He got stopped in his run by a strong figure smelling like cigarette and home. 

“The hell is going on here?!” Nigel roared.

“I was just joking!” Mike screeched, holding his bruised hand against him and terrified by the dark storm dancing on Nigel’s face. “It’s not my fault if your retarded fag can’t understand humor and...”

His sentence ended with a gargle, Nigel had hit him in the nose to efficiently shut him up.

“Adam, my love, things are going to get a little bit violent here. Just a minute.”

Nigel lightly pushed Adam out of his way, safe in the corridor. 

“I’m coming right back.”

Nigel closed the door behing him, leaving Adam alone in the corridor, and knowing that being alone would help him way better than being in the room at this precise moment. But there was no way he would let this guy go after having talked like this.

“You know what, Beth?” He spat. “I’m a good man for and with Adam. But that doesn’t mean I am good with fucking assholes like your man, his friend, or you.”

A few minutes later, Nigel was back in the corridor. Adam was a little bit more calm now and he looked at Nigel with big worried eyes.

“Don’t look at me like this, Little Star, I’m fine. Them... not that much. But I washed my hands, no more blood.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Received a few punches, nothing bad.”

“Them?”

“Beth’s man has a probably broken nose, a shoulder and a knee dislocated. And I don’t think he will be able to move without pain for days. I also broke some of his fingers. It makes a satisfying and disgusting noise. I saw he had something at a wrist, but that’s not from me.”

“No, from me. He grabbed me, I removed my arm too quickly.” Adam whispered slowly, having a hard time speaking after his meltdown.

“That’s my man” Nigel smiled fondly. “I had told you you were totally able to defend yourself. Not too quickly by the way: at a perfect and deserved speed. I was still mad. His friend is missing a tooth, and I think I broke his arm. The others are scared for years, sure a kind of a demon arrived in the middle of their party, but they are globally safe. Even Beth. Promised. Some of them tried to fight back, I had to punch a few of them, but not that much. I know you don’t like violence, but... I’m like this. I saw in such distress you were, heard his words. Couldn’t let that go. I don’t think we’ll ever get invited again. Not that I mind.”

“Me neither.”

“It’s fine now. This guy will probably never insult anyone anymore. And we will never see him again.”

“I want to go home, please.” Adam whined, still half crying.

“We are going home immediately. You can walk? Or I can carry you to the car if you want.”

Adam hesitated. His head was hurting, everything was spinning and he was so tired, and his heart was so hurt. He put his arms around Nigel and let his love carry him to the car.

“You’re perfectly able to defend yourself” Nigel whispered in his ear. “But I’ll always be here to defend you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter :) I needed so much time to bring them to finally go there! But now it’s done. And you may have guessed that I don’t like Beth
> 
> Comments and kudos are life <3 thank you so much for your support


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the catastrophic party, Beth texts Adam and him and Nigel talk about what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos <3
> 
> Not beta read, and Nigel swears, as usual

“Beth just texted me.” 

Adam had tried to sound casual but it hasn’t been a big success. The night had been awful for both of them.

After Nigel had carried him to the car, they had left immediately without any other words to Beth or her friends. Adam had stayed silent for the whole ride, curled up on his side, facing the window to hide his tears and his shakiness. Just nodding from time to time to what Nigel was saying. He then had let Nigel dragged him by the hand from the car to their home and had managed to put his pyjamas before Nigel lightly pushed him on the bed. 

They then had slept as usual, Adam on his side, his arm around Nigel’s mid section, and Nigel’s arm around his shoulders. Or, at least, their positions had been usual. Nothing else had. Adam was so tensed he had spent the night shaking lightly, his nails digging painfully into Nigel’s skin. A restless sleep, startling awake from nightmares several times in the night, panicking, not knowing where he was. Each time, Adam’s moves had woken up Nigel who had whispered him sweet little nothings until he went back to sleep. Just to have another nightmare and wake up again.   
The morning had taken forever to arrive and Adam had crawled out of bed as soon as his alarm had rung, even if he was still exhausted. Nigel had followed just after, sure there was no way he could sleep and not wanting to leave his Little Star alone. 

Nigel hadn’t said anything during the ride back home and this night, nothing that could alert Adam, but all of that had scared him a lot. He was mad at himself for having encouraged Adam to go to this party, mad to have left him alone while he was talking about cars, sure he was safe in his friend’s appartment. Theorically friend. Mad to not have known how to help Adam better than just being here. Mad to have been so useless. 

They were now in the kitchen, and they hadn’t said a single word since they were up. Nigel was nursing a mug of nearly cold coffee while Adam was reading the same cereal box again and again since half an hour.   
When his phone had rung, Adam had a quick look at the screen. And the first thing he had been able to say since he had cried to ask Nigel to bring him back home was that this... person had texted him. 

“What does she say?” Nigel asked, also trying to sound casual but totally failing as well. His voice was husky, almost a growl, like a mad dog ready to bite. 

“I haven’t looked.”

“Want me to read it for you?”

“Yes. I don’t want to... see. If it’s too bad, don’t tell me. Please.”

“Sure.”

Nigel grabbed the phone and read the long text.   
“She wants to apologize. She says that Mike was drunk and that he didn’t think what he told you but that he was a nice guy.”

“He was tipsy but not that drunk.”

“Yeah. I think he was totally aware of what he said. She also says that Mike’s friend was drunk as well and that she had never wanted that everything end up so badly. She is not sure anymore that Mike is the man of her life, because even drunk, he didn’t have to be so rude. Damn, she is nice with him. I wouldn’t call that rude. Fucking bastard. I should have shot him. Not dead.” He added, just in case. “But he would have suffered way more. Mh, she says that they went to the ER and that his health status is very bad but that he will recover. Shit. Should have hit harder. She says that, in the name of your now-finished friendship, Mike and her won’t press charges against me. She also says that she is not mad at you for having brought me there but that you should dump me because I’m obviously very dangerous and aggressive. She has no idea at how dangerous I can be.”

“Don’t suggest again that you’re going to leave because it’s better for me or I swear I’ll throw this mug of coffee in your face.” Adam whispered. 

“I was not going to suggest that” Answered Nigel who totally had been going to say that. 

“Liar.”

“True. Sorry. Won’t do it again. Won’t leave and won’t suggest again I should.”

“Good.”

“Her text ends by more apologies. About her behavior with you, Mike’s behavior, her friends’... and she says she is sorry that you weren’t able to enjoy the party because of all of that. She ... errr... also says that by safety, she won’t invite you again as long as you’ll be with me.”

“Even if she had, I wouldn’t have went to another of her parties. And I don’t plan to leave you, so we won’t get invited again and I won’t have to find a reason to refuse. That’s good.”

“Her text ends like this. Apologies, her name, the end.”

“Okay. Thanks. It’s a good thing right? What she is saying?”

“Apologies won’t fix anything but yeah, it’s good that she is sending that. At least, you don’t leave each other angry.”

“I’m still sad and disappointed and ....”

“Hurt?”

“Yes, hurt. By what they said. Mike. Beth herself. The other ones.” Adam sighed. “I shouldn’t think or say that but I’m glad you... managed the situation.”

“At your service.” Nigel grinned.

“I don’t totally regret to have been there. I liked watching you speaking with Angie about cars, I like it when people speak about their passions. And after the show you did with your expensive car and your tailored suit, I don’t think any of them will ever consider me as a loser again. I still didn’t like everything else, of course. Maybe I should have....”

“No.”

“You don’t know what I was going to say.”

“I’m sure you were going to say that you should have told them they were right, or that you should have tried to hide better who you are, or that you should have panicked, even if it’s something you can’t control. You shouldn’t have. These rude fucking bastards are so wrong and mean. You owe them nothing, ok? Not an apology for being yourself, not an effort to look like them, which is something you owe to nobody at all, not an effort to accept their so called points of view that are just insults and homophobia. You did perfect. The whole evening. Polite, chatting with people, even some you didn’t know, arriving on time, not creating any problems. The perfect guest. They were the problem. Not you. Got it?”

“Yes. Thanks Nigel.”

“Anytime.”

“I’m sorry for...”

“No.”

“But...”

“If it’s about last night, you don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

“I stopped you from sleeping, I’m sure. You took care of me the whole night.”

“Willingly. Not need to be sorry for that. If it’s because you didn’t talk in the car, it’s fine too. Really Adam. No need to be sorry.”

“But...”

“No.”

“Thank you then? For having stayed with me and helped me and fought them and taken care of me?”

“Yeah, that, that is ok. You’re welcome. Anytime.” Nigel smiled.

Relieved that Adam was talking again and seemed much better, Nigel fumbled in the fridge to find something to eat with his now cold coffee. 

“I’m going to answer something to Beth.” Adam finally said. 

“If you want. But don’t pay too much attention to this harpy.”

“A harpy?”

“I thought you would prefer that to bitch.”

“Considering last night, I guess bitch would have been appropriate.” Adam said after thinking for a second. “I’m just going to write a quick answer. Mhh... “I received your apologies, thank you for that even if it won’t fix anything. I can’t believe how hateful this party has been. I won’t break up with Nigel, and I’m glad you’ll never invite us again. I forgive you for your acts and words, but not the others. Tell your friend with the black dress that yes, Nigel’s car is more expensive than your appartment and that no, she won’t get to have a ride in it. Adam.” Does it sound good?”

“I would have been less polite but yeah, good. Did one of her friend really ask you to have a ride in my car?”

“Yes, between the first incident and the final catastrophe. She said she was jealous and wanted to get in. And she said it was a pity you were with me instead of with a woman. Then, we talked about her dogs. It was better, but she was very jealous of everything and it was boring.”

“I didn’t know you liked dogs.”

“We had one when I was a kid. I never got one myself as an adult, even when my dad was still alive, but yes, I like them.”

“Great. I love dogs. Do you have something planned for today? I was thinking to go back to sleep, to be honest.”

“Nothing planned. I was hoping to get an answer from one of the companies I’ve applied to last week but... even if they were contacting me, I’m too exhausted for a phone call.”

“Back to bed then? After my breakfast. It’s still early, we could sleep a few hours and wake up for lunch. So your routines wouldn’t be too messed up.”

“Yes, it sounds great. And this afternoon... I don’t know.”

“We’ll decide later. I’ll probably draw a bit. It’s tempting to go back into the world of tattoos, and Darko could make the paperwork so my license would be legal here as well. But I need to practice before even trying.”

“Why do you have this tattoo on your neck? Why chosing that kind of drawing, I mean.”

“I was sixteen and I thought it was making me look badass and sexy.”

“You would look badass and sexy without that.” Adam answered very seriously.

“Thanks, that’s nice. I still like having a tattoo here, but maybe I didn’t chose the best drawing ever. I could get it removed, the ink is mainly faded now.”

“I heard in a documentary that tattoos could be covered.”

“Hard for something this big and black.”

“Oh. I didn’t know.”

“I guess it’s part of my look since so long that I don’t really imagine myself without it now. Maybe. It’s not very important.”

Nigel paused for a second before speaking again, having finally found the very important words he wanted to say since a few minutes, way more important than talking about his neck tattoo.

“You’re strong, you know?” He said, looking directly at Adam. “Stronger than you think. Stronger than they think. Stronger than me.”

“I’m not stronger than you.”

“Not physically maybe, but in general. You are ready to forgive someone who hurt you so much yesterday, and several times these last years. I manage everything with violence, that’s all I know. You, you talk, you accept, you forgive. That is true strength, really. My mighty warrior from space.” Nigel smiled proudly. “You say I’m protecting you, but I swear you’re protecting me too. From my past, from myself. You’re strong. Never doubt that.”

Nigel finished his breakfast, including the bowl of cereals Adam had let on the table and they went back to sleep.

“Nigel?” Adam whispered in the dark. “Are you asleep?”

“We are in the bed since less than a minute, so no. Why?”

“Could we exchange positions?”

“You want the other side of the bed? Sure. No problem.”

“No, no. I keep my side, I’ve slept on this one since forever. But me being on my back and you curled up on your side next to me, like I usually do. It’s fine if you don’t want.”

“Nah, let’s try.”

Nigel put his head on Adam’s chest and his arm around his mid section, like Adam was usually doing but in a more clingy version. And, mimicking Nigel’s usual position, Adam put his arm around his shoulder.

“It’s ok for you to sleep like that?” Adam asked, starting to slowly pet his hair. 

“More than ok.” Nigel smiled in the dark. “Makes me feel protected. Safe. Loved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nigel is right. Adam is strong. 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter and that you’ll like the next ones as well :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam finally found a job! Nigel feels useless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit more... sad, than usual. I hope it will be fine and still nice to read.   
> TW: depression

A few days later, Adam finally got a phone call for a job and, after having managed to not fail the interview, started to work at a local bookshop. Just for a few months, to help the owner who had health problems stopping him from working at his usual pace. The wage was not bad and the job nice, so even only for a few months, Adam had accepted. It was just a few streets away from his appartment, so he could walk there easily and avoid public transportation. Nigel had offered to drive him, but it would have been ridiculous for such a short distance, Adam had said. It was logical, but it was still not what Nigel would have wanted. He was staying at the appartment the whole day, only getting out to pick up cigarettes or groceries, and spending his time drawing or reading Adam’s books. Feeling a little bit more useless each day. 

He finally decided to call Darko one day, two weeks after Adam had started to work at the bookshop. Maybe his old friend would have advices or something. Anything. 

“Hi Nigel! How are you? Do you have a problem?”

“Hi Darko. No, no problem. Just wanted to chat a bit, if that’s ok.”

“Sure. Nice picture you sent me the other day, by the way. Your guy looks great with a suit.”

Nigel smiled and nodded. He had quickly snatched a selfie of Adam and him before leaving for the catastrophe-party and had sent it to Darko shortly after. 

“He always looks great. It was for a party, he doesn’t often dress like that. His friend sucks, this party was awful. Ended up having to ... deal with some people.”

“Definitely? Or just for a while?”

“Nah, just for a while, I wasn’t going to kill anybody in front of so many witnesses. Would have been stupid. And Adam wouldn’t have liked that. Still sent two of them to the ER, but they are not pressing charges.”

“You’re sure of that? I know a few lawyers not far away from you, loyal ones, useful for my usual business. They could get you out of any situation. Just ask.”

“Thanks, good to know that. But no need for now.”

“Is Adam home? It was nice chatting with him a little bit the other day.”

“No, he is working. He found a little job in a bookshop.”

“Oh I see. Tell him I’ve said hello when he’ll come back. I’d like to meet him, I think.”

“Well, come here for vacations or whatever. It wouldn’t be safe for me to come in Bucharest and Adam doesn’t like big trips.”

“Gonna think about it, it could be a good idea. And you? Back into something?”

“No. I don’t know what I could do. I tried applying to a few garages without telling it to Adam. I always liked fixing cars. But they were not hiring.”

“Why not telling him?” Darko asked. 

“I don’t know.”

“Oh really? Come on, man, we know each other since what? Thirty years? I can tell you’re lying right now. Why?”

“I don’t want him to see me as a failure.” Nigel admitted with a cracked voice.

“I’m sure he doesn’t see you like this. I don’t know him of course, but from what you told me, he seems to be really a nice and good person. I don’t think he would ever see you like this.”

“He is nice. And strong. I told him that, and it was sincere. He is so fucking strong, way more than me. Damn, I love him. I just don’t understand why he is staying with me.”

“I would say that he loves you but you’re the specialist of love, not me.”

“Yeah, but I don’t understand why he would love me.”

“It’s life. It ... happened, that’s all. Call that destiny or whatever. Why do you love him? Maybe he is wondering the same thing.”

“He is. We have talked about that a few weeks ago.”

“See? You two are just idiots in love. Both of you. You didn’t chose to love him, he didn’t chose to love you.”

“I still don’t understand why he would love someone like me. But ... yeah... you cannot control with respect to whom you fall in love. I would do anything for him. Even killing anybody who would hurt him. But I didn’t, at this party. He wouldn’t have liked that, as I said.”

“Your Adam is changing you. Not that it is a bad thing, or a good one. You’re still yourself, just different. I’m sure he doesn’t think you’re a failure. You have a hard time finding something to do with your life? Well, it happens to a lot of people.”

“Yeah. I feel so... useless.”

“No pressure, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.. You should talk with Adam about that, all of that.”

Their chat ended shortly after. Darko had things to do and Nigel went back to his drawings. They were not that bad, but not enough to become a tattoo artist. He hadn’t told Darko, and hadn’t told Adam either, but he had also applied to tattoo parlors. None of them had judged his work as worthy enough to give him a chance. Even the garages he had applied to. It was not that they weren’t hiring, it was that they didn’t want of this weird and rude man without any diploma. Understandable. Still frustrating. He had fixed a lot of cars in his life and a diploma wouldn’t have given him anything more.   
Even the supermarkets and fast-food restaurants hadn’t wanted him! He would never say that to Darko or Adam either, but he had tried to apply there as well. But they wanted students. Young people. Nice people. Not someone who was looking like he was ready to bite the first rude customer. 

He had a look at all the drawings scattered on the table. Animals, people, constellations, symbols, buildings... there was a lot of everything. All fucking useless! All these hopes, hope to become someone good, hope to do something with his life, hope to be good enough to deserve Adam’s love! All of these. Just useless bullshit. Nigel put everything in the recycling bin with angry gestures, smoked three cigarettes back to back and went back to bed. It was two in the afternoon but fuck it. Why staying awake. Pointless.

\- -

“Nigel? We need to talk.”

“Am sleeping. Leave me alone.”

“It’s seven, almost dinner time. You should get up.”

“‘m not hungry. Lemme sleep please.”

“Nigel, it’s important. Please. We can talk here if you want.”

“Important? Are you in trouble? Do you have any problem at your work? Do you want me to do something to deal with that?” Nigel did nothing to hide the hope in his voice. Helping Adam! That would be great. Not useless anymore.

“No I don’t have any problems, not with my boss at the bookshop or anything else.”

“Ah. Good that you don’t have troubles.” Nigel answered, a little bit disappointed. Happy that Adam was fine. Disappointed to have had the stupid hope that he could be useful. 

“I want to talk about you.”

“Not important. Better sleeping. Eat your dinner, I’ll grab something later.”

“You’re important” Adam insisted. “And it’s an important chat. Please. At least, get your head from under the covers, I can’t even see you.”

“Please, Adam, it’s not against you, but leave me alone. I don’t want to talk.”

Adam was sure Nigel would say that, and he had time to think to what he could do and say. He sat on the bed crossed legged, without removing the covers from Nigel’s head. 

“Fine, don’t talk. But I’m going to talk. You’re not ok.”

“‘m very fine.”

“You’re not. You never get out, except once a week to buy cigarettes. You spend all of your days sleeping, even during the weekends or the evenings. You don’t draw anymore. Don’t read anymore. You don’t eat with me, you just randomly grab something in the middle of the night. You don’t spend time with me at all, because you’re always sleeping.”

“I’m tired, that’s all. Leave me alone.” Nigel grunted.

“Tired? Nigel, you’ve been doing that for almost two months now.”

“Very tired.”

“Stop. You’re not ok. I’ve made research. Something is going on, and I want to help you.” Adam offered.

“I don’t need help. Leave me.”

“Nigel, I think you’re in depression.”

A long silence followed, so long that Adam thought Nigel was asleep again.

“No.” He finally said, still from under the covers. “Don’t want to be.”

“I talked about you with Harlan. He knows better than me about that kind of things, and he agreed. He said I should get you to a doctor, but I won’t force you. But I swear I’ll do it, by force if I need to, if you don’t let me help you. And... not wanting to be in depression doesn’t mean you can’t be. It doesn’t work like this.”

Adam carefully removed a little bit of the covers, just enough to discern his lover’s face in the dim light. Nigel’s eyes were shut, frown, like he was forcing himself to shut them at any price. His hair was a mess and Adam carefully started to pet him lightly, not minding the even worse mess he was doing.  
After a while, Nigel seemed to relax a bit under Adam’s careful touch.

“I’m a failure.” He whispered.

Instead of just saying no, Adam tried something else. “Why do you consider yourself as a failure?”

“I can’t do anything good. Even at the supermarket they don’t want me. And I draw like shit.”

“You mean you’ve applied to jobs and they didn’t want you?”

“Yeah. Don’t know what I could do with my life. I’m not good at anything except killing people and sniffing coke. But I don’t want to go back in that.”

“You could apply at other places. You could continue to improve in drawing.”

“Pointless. I’ll never do anything good. I won’t draw again. I threw away all my drawings.”

“I know, I found them in the bin. I didn’t trash them.”

“Throw them away! I don’t want them!” Nigel spat.

“I do. I like what you do. And don’t try to find them in the appartment to throw them away again while I’m not here. They are hidden. You’ll get them back when you’ll get better.“

“Better? That’s bullshit. There is no better, no future. You’ll be better without...”

“Finish this sentence and I’ll empty a bucket of ice cold water on you in that bed.”

“You wouldn’t. It’s your bed.”

“Our bed.” Adam corrected. “And it would dry.”

Nigel started moving to get out of bed and, Adam supposed, to get out of the appartment and of his life. Adam grabbed him by the arm before he got the chance to sit up and dragged him against him, Nigel’s head against his chest and his back half against his stomach, Adam’s arms carefully squeezed around him to stop him from trying to get up again. Adam kissed the top of Nigel’s head, it was easy in this weird restraint-hug position.

“We are talking. Don’t leave. That’s rude. Even if I don’t have a bucket of water ready.”

“Let me go.”

“No, I’m busy smelling your hair. You used my shampoo. Now tell me. Try to explain what’s going on. I just want to help you, like you helped and still help me. Let me help you, please. I can’t stand seeing you in so much despair.”

Reluctantly, Nigel finally talked a little bit to explain that he didn’t know what to do with his life anymore. That he wasn’t good at anything. That he didn’t want to hurt Adam by his behavior and that he was sorry. Adam told him there was nothing to be sorry about and kissed him again.   
Nigel explained that at least, when he was sleeping, the pain was ending. Not worthless, not without any future, nothing bad. Nightmares of course, but that was still better than being awake. That he was sorry for not having able to shelter Adam at this party. That he was sorry to be a failure. That he was sorry for everything.

“You pinched me!”

“Stop saying you’re sorry. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and you don’t have any control about not being ok. Depression, or even a little depressive episode, is not something that can be controlled.” Adam explained.

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not. I’m here with you. You’re not alone to face that, ok?”

“It must be hard. To love me. Big bad Nigel. Big bad depressed useless futureless Nigel.”

Adam hugged him harder at these words and lean to whisper right into his ear.

“No. Meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I’ll forever be thankful for that. I love you Nigel. I won’t stop because you have troubles getting adapted to a totally new life. Anybody would have a hard time after everything you lived. And even without that, it’s perfectly ok to not be ok.”

Nigel moved, and this time Adam let him. Nigel knelt on the bed, facing Adam, and took his Little Star in his arms. At this precise second, he could see some light in the dark. An anchor in the storm of his life. Adam as his guardian angel.

\- -

Things got very slowly better for Nigel after this day. Eating with Adam sometimes, and progressively everyday. Watching TV or reading instead of sleeping all day, even if he was still sleeping almost all the time when Adam wasn’t home. He didn’t want to be awake and think about his life when his Adam wasn’t here. It was too scary. They got back into their routine of watching series or movies in the evening, Adam sitting on the sofa and Nigel laying down with his head on Adam’s lap. 

Slowly. 

Very slowly. 

Adam was confident. Even if Nigel had refused to see a doctor, he would slowly be able to get himself again. He just needed time and support. 

When he came back home in the evening after work one day, Adam had the happy surprise to see that Nigel wasn’t here. Maybe groceries shopping or just walking outside he thought. That was great!

When he found Nigel’s phone abandoned on the table, he started worrying. 

When the night fell and Nigel was still not home, he started to be really scared. 

When at three in the morning, he heard a weird noise and opened the door, he found Nigel barely conscious and covered in blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that this is NOT a death fic. Adam is here for his Nigel. 
> 
> I hope it’s ok to have sadder chapters. I’m just not ok these last months and my struggles are not getting better. So... I write about that kind of things. Sorry. I hope it’s ok.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam needs to help Nigel and decides to call his friend Harlan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of wounds and of violence, but no graphic descriptions. 
> 
> Not beta-read

Adam thought he was going to panic. But he didn’t. He stayed strangely calm, as if his brain knew he needed all of his capacities to manage this situation.   
First thing he knew was that he couldn’t let Nigel outside, bleeding out on the door mat. He slid his arms under Nigel’s and dragged him inside with difficulty. The man was heavy and his blood soaked clothes were slippy and sticky. 

“I’m sorry.” Nigel mumbled with a voice so low that Adam barely heard him. 

“Just tell me what happened.”

“Met some of Darko’s cousin’s men and...”

“Shhh. Keep your energy. I know enough with that.”

Adam had thought at first to call the ER, or maybe to bring him directly, even if he had no idea of how he would have carried Nigel in the car, let alone driving it. But if it was related to Darko’s business, he couldn’t get anything official involved, not even the hospital. Nigel had clearly explained him that. Officially, he was just a random citizen. But a police investigation to find who had attacked him would probably be his end, and there would surely be one if Adam was getting him to the ER. 

Adam picked his phone out of his pocket, where he had kept it the whole evening, hoping from news. There was not a lot of numbers in his contacts. Beth was the first one of the list but it was obvious he wasn’t going to call this harpy, as Nigel had called her. And renamed her as “Beth the harpy” in Adam’s phone just for fun. His actual boss, a few coworkers from previous jobs because he had forgotten to delete those now useless numbers... They wouldn’t be of any help.   
The solution appeared suddenly, so evident that he hadn’t seen it earlier. Harlan. The man was a nurse, he had been in the army like Adam’s dad, and he was his friend. Even if it was three in the morning, and even if he hated to make phone calls, Adam called him. 

“Harlan? Sorry, it’s early.”

“I would have said very late and I’m surprised you’re calling. Do you have a problem?”

Of course Harlan was thinking he was in troubles. Why else would have Adam called in the middle of the night. Calling Harlan was definitely the best solution. 

“It’s Nigel. I told you about him. He is injured, badly injured. But I can’t get him to the hospital. Please. I don’t know what to do. Can you help him?”

“Why can’t you get him to the hospital? No, nevermind. I’m coming as fast as possible. Just grabbing some material and driving there. You’re both at your appartment I guess?”

“Yes, in the living room.”

“Keep him conscious. Don’t panic. I’m coming.”

Harlan hung up immediately and got ready in a less than a minute. He was sure it was very serious. Adam would have never called him for nothing, he knew he could trust him. The situation was probably bad, or else, Adam would have never dared to call him in the middle of night like this. He rushed to his car, threw his case of material on the back seat and took the direction of Adam’s place. 

“Nigel? Do you hear me? Help is going to arrive.”

“Not, can’t risk...”

“No, I’m not taking you to the hospital. Harlan is coming. He will help. He didn’t ask any questions, he is just coming to help. I’m sure he won’t snitch to the police or anything. Just helping. Discretion. But I need you to stay awake.”

“I’m so tired...”

“I know. Just try, ok? For me.”

\- - 

A few hours earlier... 

“No, we don’t hire people like you.”

Nigel had left the restaurant he wanted to apply to, fuming and angry to the entire world (except Adam of course). He was a little bit better lately, and he had decided to try to apply to another job. Again. But again, it was a total fail.   
He should have known there was no future for him outside of the business of coke and weapons. He was made to do that, he didn’t know anything else. He could have called Darko of course, but what was left of his pride pushed him to try by himself to get back alone in this world. He didn’t want to. But he was a bad man, deep down his heart, despite everything Adam had told him. A bad man, who did bad things. And who was not able to do anything good. It was his destiny. Nothing would ever change for him. Doomed to be a lonely bad dog. 

Since the Stardust Cafe had a new owner, none of Darko’s business was happening there anymore. His cousin was still alive, probably, and nobody knew where. His henchmen were still in town, they just had moved their business a few streets away, in the back shop of a strip club. Pete, the guy Nigel wanted to bet on, was now ruling everything, under Darko’s orders of course. 

Nigel didn’t really have a plan when he arrived at the strip club. He didn’t want Darko’s help to get back in this, he wanted to do it himself. Meeting these guys, talking business, finding a place. After all, his reputation was preceding him. Selling, buying, drugs, weapons, killing... no matter what they would want from him, he was ready. 

Things started surprisingly well. He immediately spotted two of the henchmen in the club, and he knew at their look that they had recognized him. A few words to explain he was looking for a job, and they agreed to lead him to Pete in the back shop. 

Things then quickly turned to shit.   
First, Pete was not here. Dealing with the strip club’s business was not his thing, he was preferring giving his orders and not getting involved.   
Second, a lot of men were here, too much in case of a fight. Nigel counted at least eight of them, and a couple of others arrived soon after.   
Third, he recognized those men. No new faces, only ones he had met. Pete hadn’t hired, they were all Darko’s cousin’s men. And they knew what he had done to their ex-boss. 

“The previous boss had always called you stupid, I guess he was right. Coming here was not a good idea.” One of the guys said.

“I came here to meet Pete, not you all. Tell me where I can contact him, I don’t work with the fucking sidekicks.”

“He would probably be happy to work with you. Your reputation is excellent. So many years working with Darko, the big boss. But he is not here. And we are. We all know what you did.”

“I didn’t kill your ex-boss and he was a dumb bastard. Pete is way better, really talented to shoot and to manage money.”

“You didn’t kill him no. But you made all of us ridiculous. A single man managed to burn our boss’ home and cars, destroy his papers, and steal his shop. We were here, observing as we had to, and none of us saw anything before it was too late.”

“As you said, my reputation is excellent. I know my job.”

“Yours is excellent yes. Ours? All of us here? We are finished. We are the ones who have let a single man do whatever he wanted. Pete kept us...”

“Nice and stupid of him.” Nigel commented.

“...because we have worked with him for years. But we are seen as the incapable bastards who can’t even stop one man.”

“Not my fault. You all suck, I’m awesome.” Nigel grinned, very aware that the situation was getting really bad here. He had his gun of course, but at one against ten, including three of them he couldn’t see as they were behind him, it was going to be complicated. Nigel felt very stupid at this moment. He was just... desperate, when he had decided to come here. But it had been such a dumb and possibly definitive decision.

“You won’t work for Pete. We won’t let you contact him.”

“Fine, I’m leaving then.”

“Don’t move. You had your revenge on our ex-boss. We still need to have our revenge, don’t you think? It’s justice. You’re a lucky little bastard you know. Darko has given orders. It’s strictly forbidden to kill you.”

Nigel smiled at this. Good old Darko. It was touching, because he was usually doing that only for his family. 

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little bit of fun with you. It will be a night you won’t forget.”

Nigel immediately pulled out his gun and fired. One guy down, another injured. Still too many of them. Still three of them behind him. He was on the floor before he could see who had punched him. Someone stepped on his wrist until he dropped his gun. Another one took the knife he didn’t even have tried yet to reach. 

It would indeed be a night he wouldn’t forget. 

\- -

“Stay with me.” Adam begged. “Listen to my voice, stay with me. Please.”

Adam had let the front door open, and when Harlan arrived, he was kneeling on the floor, cradling Nigel in his arms. 

Following Harlan’s directions, Adam helped him carrying Nigel in the bathroom and got water, towels, and everything Harlan was asking for. 

“Adam, I’m going to have to stitch him up. There will be blood, he will suffer, and I can’t anesthetize him here. You should get out.”

“There is already blood. All over him, and all over me now. I’m not letting him alone. I trust you Harlan, but I’m not letting him. And I’ll help you if I can.”

“You’re stubborn but fine, stay then. And you, you stay awake for now. What happened?” Harlan asked to Adam while starting to clean the blood on Nigel’s face. 

“He met people he shouldn’t have met. From a not very legal world.”

“I see. I understand why you couldn’t get him to the hospital. First, I’m gonna check if your ribs are broken or just bruised.” He said to Nigel. “You got some very nasty hematomas there and there.”

“Not broken.” Nigel whispered. “Would be worse.”

“Still need to check, because that would be very serious and I wouldn’t be able to do a lot for you.”

Harlan carefully pressed his palms on Nigel’s rib cage at different places, trying to feel under his fingers if the bones were broken or not. Nigel screamed in pain and mumbled swearings in what Adam supposed was Romanian.

“Not broken.”

“Told y’a” Nigel hissed.

“Still needed to be sure. He looks awful but he’ll be fine.” Harlan said to Adam. “Nothing lethal. Don’t worry. I’m going to patch up your man. When I had told you the other day that I wanted to meet him, that’s not really what I was expecting. But he will be ok.”

“You’re sure?” Adam asked with a scared teary voice. 

“I’m sure. Let me work, get out if you need to, help if you can. Don’t worry. And you,” he added for Nigel, “I’m sorry, but it’s going to hurt. But I’ve got you, kid, you’re going to be fine. Drift into unconsciousness if you have to. Now that I know for sure that your ribs aren’t broken, it’s fine if you’re not conscious.”

Nigel didn’t react to the “kid” and tried to nod, but stopped, everything was hurting too much. Adam was trusting this Harlan guy and had told about him several times. It was enough for him. He felt Adam taking his hand and squeezed it with a forceless grip when he felt Harlan starting to stitch a profound cut on his shoulder. Then, everything turned to black. 

\- -

A moment later, a way too long moment later, Nigel was carefully installed in bed, covered in bandages and exhaling a strong smell of medical alcohol and disinfectant. Harlan was still with him, and Adam was trying to clean up the bathroom. It was probably not the best moment to do that, but all this mess was making him even more nervous. He had thrown Nigel’s bloody clothes in the washing machine, even if they were probably so ruined that he would have to throw them away, and he was now trying to clean the blood on the floor and to gather the wraps of the bandages and other things that were strewn on the floor. He had already cleaned Nigel’s blood from the doormat and the living room, but the bathroom was clearly the biggest mess. 

“Adam?” Harlan called with a nice voice from the door. “You should shower and change clothes, and get in the bedroom near to your Nigel. He is asleep for now, but no doubt he will be reassured to see you when he will wake up.”

“I can’t, there is mess everywhere and...”

“Adam, calm down. You did everything perfect this night. Get rid of your bloody clothes and take a shower. Then, join him. I’m going to clean and organize my stuff in my bag, and then I’ll throw away everything that need to be. I’ll be way more efficient than you at this, it’s my job and you’re too tired and worried to do anything good.”

“You are sure he is going to be fine? I don’t want to lose him.” Adam said, fighting back his tears. “I need him.”

“I’m sure. He has countless bad cuts, from knife wounds. Some burns here and there, not sure how they have been done, it seems almost like a branding. His left wrist is badly bruised but not broken, as well as his shoulder and elbow. Two of his fingers are broken, but I managed to put them right again, they will heal too. A lot of bruises, he probably had been beaten up, punched, kicked. He is in a lot of pain, but his life is not threatened. These people he met, as you said, they didn’t want to kill him or to break him too much. They just wanted him to suffer.”

“There was so much blood...”

“He had a few cuts on his scalp and face, and those bleed a lot. He is also missing entire patches of skin, like if someone had peeled it with a knife. Did he has something on the neck? A distinctive mark maybe? That was the biggest skinless area.”

“A tattoo. He has a pin-up girl tattooed on his neck.”

“Ok. Well, he doesn’t have it anymore, sorry. Or maybe just a few spots of ink. Your man got a really bad wallop. And they had fun with knifes and fire on top of the beatings. I won’t tell anything, you know me, I’m not like this. Not to the police, not to anybody at the hospital, not a word to anybody. But you two owe me explanations. Take your shower, and hurry up. I’ll leave soon, I’m working in two hours.”

Adam nodded and picked up clean clothes. He hopped into the shower and scrub his skin clean for Nigel’s blood. A few minutes later, he was sitting on the bed next to Nigel. Harlan spent a moment in the bathroom to gather his tools and stuff, and to throw away the wraps and bloody gauze, like he had said. 

“Adam? I’m done. I’m leaving, but I’ll come back in the evening after work to check if he is ok. No need to come with me, I still have a spare key. Are you working today?”

“No, it’s my day off.” Adam whispered, scared to wake up Nigel.

“Perfect. Stay with him. Try to get him to eat something during the day, and take care. Both of him and you, ok? And you should call your boss in the morning. Ask him for a couple of days off, your Nigel is going to need your help. Ok?”

“Yes, ok, I’m going to do that. Thank you so much Harlan, I don’t know how to...”

“Don’t worry, no need to thank me. I’m glad you called me. See you tonight.”

Adam heard Harlan’s footsteps in the appartment, and then the door being locked from outside. From the place where he was sitting on the bed, he turned to be able to see Nigel. Asleep and with bandages scattered everywhere, he was not at all looking like big bad Nigel. His hair was hiding half of his face, but Adam could still guess that he was frowning, maybe from pain even unconscious, or maybe from a nightmare. 

Adam slowly lied down on his back on what was left of his side of the bed, carefully avoiding to touch Nigel who was sprawled in the middle. He was just so afraid to hurt him more than he was... Maybe it would have been better and safer for Nigel if Adam had decided to sleep on the sofa, but Harlan had told him it would be better if he was here when Nigel would wake up. And he didn’t want to leave his side.   
Adam carefully grabbed the covers, slipping them on him and on Nigel. He then looked for Scotty Raccoon the plushie, realizing it was probably somewhere under the bed. He was often hugging it to sleep lately, as Nigel was just sleeping alone, curled up on his side, trying to drown his depression in sleep. He finally found the raccoon in the bed, thightly squeezed in Nigel’s arms, and he immediately dropped the idea of getting it back. If Nigel had mindlessly took it in his sleep, it was probably better to let him have it.   
Adam extended carefully one of his arms until his hand was on Nigel’s head, and he petted lightly his hair until he fell asleep. 

Adam woke up hungry in the middle of the morning. He was so scared for Nigel that he had missed dinner, and the night had been so exhausting that it was past his usual breakfast time. He stretched lightly, still scared at the idea of touching and hurting Nigel, and opened his eyes.   
Nigel was awake and was looking at him through half closed eyes, a little fond smile on his lips. 

“Have you been awake for long?” Adam whispered. 

“Maybe twenty minutes, not more. And why do you whisper? Your voice is not going to hurt me.”

“Your voice is hoarse and low too.” Adam answered, his voice at a normal volume this time.

“Yeah but that’s not on purpose. Needless to say I’m not at my top.”

“That, I could have guessed. How do you feel?”

“Sore but safe. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“How could I not worry?! You left without your phone, I stayed without any news for hours, knowing you were not mentally ok at all, and I found you half dead on the door mat at three in the morning! It’s impossible for me to not worry even in easy situations, so yesterday and right now I’m very worried!” Adam half-screamed, doing his best to stay calm to keep Nigel safe. 

“I’ll live. Your friend Harlan said it, right?”

“Yes, that’s true. But I’m still scared for you. I’m going to call the bookshop owner to get days off and I’ll get food for both of us, and then you’re going to tell me everything, please.”

“Don’t take days off just for me. And no need for food, I’m not hungry.”

“Harlan said I should get you to eat something during the day. And he is right, you can’t heal if you don’t have energy, it’s logical. And I’ll take days off to take care of you if I want.”

Without letting time to Nigel to answer, Adam got out of the bed and walked in the kitchen. A short phone call to his boss was enough to negociate three days off, on top of this one, after Adam had said he needed time to take care of someone who was very important to him. This bookshop owner was really nice with him, and he would regret the day he would have to leave this job, Adam thought before focusing on his current task. It was a concern for later.   
He quickly buttered toasts and piled them on a plate, made coffee that was going to taste as awful as usual and a cup of tea that was going to be way better, and put that along with a cereal box, orange juice, fruits, cutlery, glasses and napkins on a tray. He then came back very slowly in the bedroom, scared to drop everything on the floor, and put the intact tray on the bed with a relieved sigh. 

“You’re going to eat in bed?” Nigel asked, amused. “I thought you didn’t like that.”

“I don’t, because it puts crumbs in the sheets and it’s awful. But I’ll have to change them anyway, there is a little bit of blood on your side, and the smell of disinfectant is disgusting. And I don’t think you are ok enough to sit in the kitchen.”

“Probably not yeah. But I told you I wasn’t hungry.”

“I know. But I want to help you how I can. So I buttered toasts for you. And I made coffee. ”

“You’re just so fucking sweet. Fine, I’ll eat them then. Not sure for the coffee.”

Adam smiled, relieved to be able to do something to help, even if it was just a little nothing. As Nigel wasn’t making any moves to sit or even just to grab the toasts himself, Adam broke one of them in four parts and put it in front of Nigel’s mouth. Probably too tired or maybe half asleep, Nigel didn’t say anything this time and let Adam handfeed him small pieces of food, one after the other. 

“What happened?” He finally asked after Nigel had eaten three of the toasts and agreed to drink a glass of juice. “Nigel, please. I need to know why I found you... like this... last night. Not every detail if you don’t want to but... I need to know. I don’t like surprises, and this one was particularly awful.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” Nigel apologized, sincerely remorseful. “I got rejected from another job yesterday, again. I had finally found in me the strength to get out and the reality of my situation was once again hitting me in the face.”

“Your situation... is not that bad? You’re not ok and you can’t work for now because of that, but... it won’t stop me from wanting you in my life, you know that?” Adam said, fighting back tears again. “I need you.”

“I need you as well, my gorgeous Little Star. But yesterday... I was just feeling very bad. Very low. Worse than usual. So I thought that I had been wrong, that it was hopeless, that I would never be someone good. That I was just able to disappoint you. I realized that the only thing I knew was working in the drugs business, like before. Darko’s local business is not hold anymore at the Stardust cafe, but at a strip club a few streets away, so I went there and asked to meet Pete. He is the new boss since Darko’s cousin is on the run. I just... wanted to go back in this, this fucking world where I belong, and without Darko’s help. Just fucking useless pride. Really a bad decision.” Nigel sighed and moved a bit with a little grunt of pain.   
“Pete was not here. His men were. Said I had ruined their reputation, which is true.”

“Because you got your revenge on Darko’s cousin and they hadn’t been able to do anything about that?”

“Yeah, ten guys, defeated by one. I’m sure they are having a fucking very though time working with others from this world lately. Reputation is more efficient than any weapon when you’re in that kind of life. So they don’t like me at all. I just had the time to shoot one of them before they got me. It’s a little bit blurred in my memory after. Just... pain. Screams. Mines, not theirs. Smell of blood and burnt flesh. Endless pain. I think I’ve passed out a few times, not sure. Everything is just so blurry in my memory and to be honest, I’m not really trying to remember the details.”

“It’s probably better to forget that, indeed.”

“The next thing I remember is that I was outside in the street, when they threw me out, after. I wasn’t thinking clear and I just wanted to run and lick my wounds in a safe place. I came back here, half limping half crawling, hiding in the dark when I met people. Couldn’t see how I looked, but I knew it was better to stay hidden. I thought I was never going to make it. I was so fucking relieved when I finally arrived in front of the door! The adrenaline that had kept me going stopped and I dropped there in the corridor. That’s the whole story. I just... took a bad decision. I should have spoken about that with you instead of running there but...”

“You weren’t thinking straight.”

“Yeah. I’m so sorry Adam. I can’t express how sorry I am for having acted like this. I just... wanted to show you I could do something? Even if it was a bad thing? To show I wasn’t a total failure.”

“I never, NEVER, thought you were a failure! And I know you can do things, you silly.” Adam said with a shaky voice, surprising Nigel. “You don’t have to run head first in a fight to prove me anything! I know you’re worthy, I even know it better than you, apparently. You need... time. To get better. To find your way in life. I need you with me. I don’t need you to prove me anything. I need you alive and well with me. Do you understand?”

“Yes” Nigel whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Just... don’t do that again, promised? Don’t run away from me with your problems. I’m not great for social things, I’m not... good with what society wants, and all of that. But I’ll always do my best for you. I’m not adapted to this world. You’re not either, in a different way. But we have each other. And it’s important.”

Nigel nodded, so fucking happy Adam was not throwing him out like he deserved.

“Will you... have a revenge on these guys?” Adam asked.

“Tempting, but I’m not sure. And if it happens... it won’t be as nice as with Darko’s cousin.”

“Understandable. And... if one day you seek revenge against them, you won’t be alone. I’ll be there. And you’ll be safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a little bit OOC Harlan? I’m not sure. I thought he was a nice man in the movie, who really wanted to help Adam.   
> I decided to not describe Nigel’s wounds and Harlan’s help precisely because I have zero medical knowledge. 
> 
> I need an Adam in my life. Or à Nigel. Or both.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is ready to do anything to help Nigel getting better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of violence, swearing
> 
> Not beta-read

“I need to go back to work tomorrow.” Adam said. “But I can call my boss and try to negociate a few more days off, if you prefer. I just don’t want to leave him for too long, his health is really not great lately.”

“I’ll be ok, don’t worry.”

“You can’t ask me to not worry for you, we talked about that already.”

“Yeah, my bad. Sorry. But, yes, go back to work, I’ll be fine. Harlan is really good, I already feel much better.”

It was four days after the awful night when Nigel had come back home covered in blood. Adam was still seeing this frightening picture each time he was closing his eyes. But Nigel was indeed getting better, at least physically. Harlan was coming each day to quickly check his stitches, burns and everything, and he assured them that Nigel would be healed soon, even if he would keep scars. Nigel didn’t mind the scars, he already had a lot of them and Adam had promised he didn’t mind either.   
The psychological part would be more complicated and long. So Adam had decided to force Nigel to have routines, even if not as much routines as himself had, to help him feeling in control of his life again.

“The shop will be close for one hour and a half tomorrow during lunchtime, as usual. I’ll come back home to eat, and you’ll eat with me.”

“You know I usually sleep at that time of the day.”

“I know. You’ll go back to sleep after. I want to see you, and I’m sure it will help you to share my routines a little bit. You can even cook something. I promise I’ll give it a try.”

“An effort for new food if I make an effort to put my life together. Ok, fair enough. Not sure it will work, but let’s give it a try.”

“Thank you.” Adam smiled. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

Slowly, days after days, Adam did his best to add little things in Nigel’s life, so he would be able to stay awake and to have something to stay focused on during this time. Read that book, try to cook something, call Darko, clean your car... 

Until one day, Adam asked him to draw. 

“I don’t do that anymore.”

“I know. But I remember watching you drawing for hours and smiling. You love that. And I loved watching you doing that. And it’s not because some posh tattoo parlors told you they didn’t want to work with you that you’re bad. You deserve to find a place where people will appreciate your art. And you could also draw just for you. Tattoo just for you.”

“I don’t even have my neck tattoo anymore.” Nigel mumbled, scratching his neck absently.

“Stop. Harlan told you to not scratch the scar.”

“And you told me that you should find one of those vet collars for dogs to stop me. Yes, I remember.” Nigel said, rolling his eyes but dropping his hand. 

“I read on the web that you can buy fake skin to train before tattooing for real.”

“Yeah I know. I’m still not convinced.”

“Draw something for me then. Even if you don’t like the result. Draw something as a gift for me. What do you think about that?”

Nigel thought for a minute.

“Yes. For you, I can do that.”

\- -

Later that day, while Nigel was swearing in the shower, Adam decided it was time for him to have a talk with Darko. He was a little bit afraid of him, but after all, he was the one who had known Nigel for the longest. He would maybe have good ideas. 

“Hi Darko.”

“Hi Adam. Not gonna lie, I’m a little bit surprised you’re calling me.”

“I’m a bit surprised myself to have dared to.”

“Dared to?”

“You scare me a little bit” Adam admitted, as honest as usual. 

Darko laughed. “Well if you can deal with Nigel without being scared, you can certainly deal with me. Why are you calling?”

“Did Nigel tell you what has happened to him recently?”

“More or less. Told me he had been in a fight with my cousin’s men. Well, they are not his anymore of course.” He told me he had lost.”

“For losing, he lost, yeah...” Adam quickly summarized the situation for Darko, and included the actual depressed state of Nigel, and his fear toward his future.

“He hadn’t told me that at all. It explains why he is always wearing a scarf or something lately when we talk. He doesn’t want me to know he doesn’t have his tattoo anymore. It was a little bit of a symbol for him, I suppose. I’m not surprised he didn’t tell me anything, he is not very talkative when it comes to himself. But still... I’m his friend since so long. I wouldn’t have rejected him or anything.”

“That’s what I thought. And that’s why I’m contacting you.”

“Tell me more?”

“He is sure he will never find a job and get his life together one day. But a long time ago, he had told me his Romanian tattoo license was a real one and that you could probably transfer it so it would be legal here as well. Is it true?”

“Yes, it is. Money can buy that kind of things easily. It’s not even illegal. Want me to do that for him? Will take a few weeks.”

“Yes please, but without telling him?” Adam asked. “So it would stay a surprise until the day he will be ready. He doesn’t draw anymore, but I think I have convinced him to try again.”

“That’s a good thing, he always had the eye for that. Even if most of the tattoos he made were easy little things. You don’t chose your clients, especially not in the back room of a strip club. But he did beautiful pieces too, both on skin and paper. I’ve got two. They are old now of course, but still look good. Wanna see I guess?”

Adam nodded, curious, and Darko moved the webcam to get it closer, swearing in Romanian in the process. He then showed Adam a beautiful forest on his left forearm, with a eagle owl in the middle and trees and stars nicely encircling his whole arm, and a black and blue dragon draped over his right shoulder, its tail rolled around his upper arm. 

“The colors are not as bright as when he made them of course, but that’s normal.”

“They look great!”

“I told you he was really good.” Darko smiled. “His license will be there in a few weeks, I’ll take care of it. Anything else you wanted to ask me?”

“He told me he was going to seek revenge of these men.”

“Yes, he is. He hasn’t told me anything of course, but I’m sure he is going to do something. I know him, he is not going to let that go.”

“He is going to kill them, right?”

“Yes. No talking this time, not trying to talk with Pete. Nothing. He’ll shoot them and that’s all.”

“And he will ask again if I still want him in his life.”

“Probably” Darko admitted. “He doesn’t seem to be, but this guy feels so... unsecure. So yes, he will ask.”

“And my answer will still be the same. If he told you about his plans for this, will you tell him that I won’t find him worthless or anything because of that? And to be careful?”

“Of course. We don’t know each other very well Adam, but I’m sure you are the best person for him. I’ll tell him.”

\- -

Nigel and Adam built a new routine around Adam’s usual ones and Nigel’s struggles. Nigel was sleeping until noon, but was waking up to eat lunch with Adam. Then, Adam was leaving again for work, but not before having told Nigel what he wanted him to draw this day. And when he was coming home at night, Nigel had worked on his demand. Except the time when, running out of ideas, Adam suggested to draw every single spaceship from Star Trek, because there was really too much of them.

“We should invite Harlan, now that you’re feeling better physically. I already wanted to invite him before this... incident.”

“Yes, I’d love that. I don’t know how to thank him, he is really a great man. Helping me, even if he didn’t know me... Yeah, a good man. But I have things planned for this weekend, so better the next one, if it’s ok for you.”

“Yes it is, but what did you plan?”

“I have... personal issues to deal with.”

“You’re going to kill the guys who beat you.” Adam realized.

“I’ve waited long enough. Now that I’ve recovered, I’m ready. It’s... not something a good man would do. But it’s something I’m going to do.”

“You’re like that. It’s ok. But are you sure you’ll be safe.”

“Can never be sure for that kind of things.” Nigel laughed darkly.

“What if I was helping you?”

“Not a bad thing, but I don’t picture you shooting someone in the head, Little Star. Or even just watching.”

“No, indeed. But I could ... monitor the situation? See if nobody’s coming? Be a bait?”

“I won’t use you as a bait!” Nigel roared. “Never.”

“If I was next to someone, at the opposite side of the room, for example. Could you shoot this person for sure, without touching me? Darko says you’re talented for that.”

“I could do that, yes.”

“So no risk then. Last time, you went without a plan and it failed. This time, you’re going to make one, and I’m going to help.”

\- -

“Aren’t you Nigel’s boy? Yeah that’s you, we saw you with him several times. Are you lost? Bad thing. Very bad thing for you he’s not here.” A voice chuckled with a nasty sound.

“We’re going to have a little bit of fun with y’a, boy. The big boss’ rules protect Nigel’s life, not yours. And you’re a very pretty little thing, mh.” Said another one.

Adam was alone in a dark impasse, very far away from his home, in a totally unknown part of the city. A very bad thing for him, indeed. The two men who had trapped him in this desert place were Pete’s guys, and more precisely Darko’s cousin’s old guys. Two of the ones who had fun a few weeks ago with Nigel.   
Adam tried to stay calm and slowly stepped on the side, trying to avoid them, but they were efficiently blocking the only way out. 

“That’s kinda cute, hoping you could dodge us just like this.” One of them commented, grabbing Adam by the arm. “You, alone, against us. Cute but very useless and stupid. Come on, little guy, the night is still long and...”

BAM! The noise of the detonation made Adam cover his ears with his hands. The hand that was grabbing his arm let him go, its owner falling on the floor. 

“What the...”

BAM! The second guy didn’t get to finish his sentence that he was dead as well. 

“Am not alone” Adam whispered. “You just didn’t pay attention. Oh Nigel, that’s disgusting, I think I’m going to throw up.”

“Later, Little Star. We need to leave now. Less time, less proofs. You’ll be sick later.”

“But what’s left of his brain is on the wall and there is so much blood and...”

“I know, I know. Nice shots, eh? Don’t look, close your eyes, I’ll guide you.”

“Nice shots, yes” Adam stuttered, hiding his eyes with his hands while Nigel was gently guiding him out of the impasse. “But I don’t want to do that ever again. Even if I was the one who suggested it.”

“They were the last ones.” Nigel reassured him. “Never again. You don’t have blood on you? Mh, just a bit, it will be fine. It’s night, nobody will see and we’ll wash your clothes as soon as possible, ok? I’m sorry to have dragged you in this, but so fucking grateful you helped me. Ten guys in one night, really a nice score. Even if I hated exposing you as a bait. I promise I won’t kill again. Really. Except in situations like this one, even if I hope it will never happen again. You can remove your hands, we are far now, back in a street with lights and everything. Just walking for a while now, it would have been too risky to take my car, remember? It’s going to be fine. Darko’s car is ugly but not far.” Nigel continued to talk to try to help Adam relaxing a bit. “So thankful you helped me plan this, hunt them and take them down one by one. Busy night. And all of our traces are covered, no risk with the police. Darko pays them way enough, they will close their eyes on this. In less than an hour, it will be finished forever, we will be at our home and we will never hear again from these guys or Darko’s cousin or Pete or all of that. Everything is fine.”

Adam smiled and kissed Nigel’s cheek.

“What?”

“You said “our home” for the first time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hunting with your lover <3 so romantic (yes I’ve started a Hannibal rewatch, that’s why). 
> 
> I really like imagining Nigel drawing, and I can totally picture him as a tattoo artist 
> 
> Thank you all for the comments and kudos <3 this fic reached 1000 hits! How great is that?! Thanks a lot <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nigel and Adam invite Harlan and his girlfriend for dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for the comments and support <3 
> 
> Not beta-read

“... a settling of accounts between gangsters happened last night, and ten men were found dead in different parts of the city. But don’t worry, the police has already investigated: they were from two rival gangs and there is no danger anymore. Now, time for the weather....”

Adam switched off the tv.

“Told you we wouldn’t have any problems.” Nigel smiled.

“I was still worried. It’s reassuring to hear that at the news. But.. they are lying? Two rival gangs? You killed them all, there wasn’t any gang fight in that.”

“The police has lied to the journalists or something like this yeah. Nothing bad. And it was just ten seconds on a continuous news channel, really no big deal. In two days, it will be forgotten.”

“That’s great, because in two days I’ll be at work and I don’t want to be nervous about that while working.” Adam said very seriously. “Now that it’s done... Can we start planning to invite Harlan? When I last talked about that, you said you had personal issues to deal with before, but now that it’s done...”

“Yes sure! Let’s invite him. When do you want to do that? Tonight? Tomorrow?” Nigel suggested.

“Oh no, no. It’s too close. I need more time to get ready. I don’t especially need time to prepare the appartment or something like this, but I need time to be ready myself.”

“Time to take into account this change in your routine. I get it. Friday then? It’s in almost a week, plenty of time.”

“Yes, Friday would be perfect. I guess... I should cook something? I never do that, I don’t like cooking. But I guess Harlan would appreciate that. Maybe he will come with his girlfriend. I never met her but he told me a lot about her and she seems nice.”

“I can cook if you want. Nothing too fancy, that’s not my type, but something simple, I can. I could teach you, if you want.”

“I don’t really want to learn, to be honest. The problem is the texture. I hate touching raw meat and that kind of things.” Adam shuddered with disgust. “And cooking with gloves is not easy. I did it a few times when it was really needed but... ”

“No need to pressure yourself with that. I don’t mind doing it, don’t worry. Would pasta with bolognese sauce be fine? I’m sure I won’t fail on this. Or not too much.”

“Yes, it would be great. I like that. I’ll clean up the whole appartment while you’ll be cooking.”

“It’s already very clean.” Nigel laughed. “We would probably eat from the floor.”

“Eww, that would be disgusting!”

“I know, just joking.”

“And in five days, it will not be clean anymore. I like when everything is clean and well organized, and cleaning is relaxing.”

“And as you know, I hate cleaning and I don’t mind the mess. We are really complementary.”

\- -

Later that day, Adam called Harlan to invite him and his girlfriend, if she wanted to come. Harlan accepted immediately but...

“Harlan asked me if they could bring their dog. They have him since a few weeks only.” Adam said to Nigel after hanging up. “I was not sure, so I told him I’ll send a text to tell him. Would you be fine with the dog being here?”

“Well, first, it’s your appartment, so you chose if you want the dog here, not me.”

“It’s legally my appartment but we live together in it since months and you pay a part of the bills, so I consider it is our appartment, and you are totally allowed to take part to the decisions.”

Nigel smiled fondly and took Adam in his arms to kiss him.

“I love it. When you talk like that. My gorgeous Little Star. All mine.” He kissed him again. “And to answer your question, no, I don’t mind the dog. In fact, I even love dogs. And you, you’ll be fine with it? They can be noisy and smelly sometimes, and unpredictable.”

“I miss having a dog so I’ll be happy to meet this one. Harlan says that this dog was quite calm, so it should be fine.”

“If you don’t mind me asking... if you love dogs and miss having one like when you were a kid, why did you never take another one, as an adult I mean?”

“My dad didn’t really want, and I never dared to, after his death. I’m afraid to not be able to take care of it properly if I’m alone. What if I’m in such a bad day that I can’t walk it? If I’m so tired I can’t play with it or feed it or something? What if I can’t afford anymore to buy food for this dog? Many things stopped. And...err... Beth doesn’t like dogs so... I had put this hope of having one on hiatus.”

“She sucks. Never forget that. You could get one now. I mean, we could. A small one maybe. As I said, we’re complementary, right? If you’re not ok enough to walk it, I’ll do it. And if it’s me who’s not ok enough, as always lately...”

“I’ll walk it. Yes, it sounds good. Let’s see how it will go with Harlan’s dog first.”

\- -

The evening with Harlan and Ruth, his girlfriend, went very well. A nice meal and an interesting conversation with lovely people, that was clearly better than any party. And the dog, a young mixed labrador, was a happy and bouncy ball of fluff.

“I’m glad to see you like this.” Harlan said to Adam, after joining him in the kitchen while Nigel and Ruth were still in the living room. “Seeing you happy, comfortable, relaxed. At first, I was a little bit scared for you, because from what I knew from the times I came here to patch him up, Nigel seems to be very different from you, and because I can guess he is from a world very different from yours. But... it really works between you two. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you” Adam smiled. “We are very different and he indeed comes from an unusual environment, one I would not like to be in. But... I’m very happy with him. I love him. He even respects my boundaries and particularities.”

“Anyone should respect that, especially a friend or a lover. I told you that, right? You deserve to be treated right. By curiosity, did he move in with you? I saw some things that are not yours near the tv and... I don’t want to be nosy, but it’s so unusual that I was wondering.”

“Yes, he moved in with me a few months ago. He was living in an awful and very small studio when we met, and when he had the chance to leave this place... I suggested him to come here. But he is always careful to give me all the place and quiet time I need. I know he can seem... rough, but deep down his heart, he is really a good man.”

“He curses like a demon but he is an angel inside.” Harlan laughed.

“That’s not wrong, even if he is a rude angel.” Adam admitted. “We talked about adopting a dog. I would love that.”

“Always told you it would be a good thing for you. And I guess it’s less scary with Nigel being able to help you if needed? Damn son, I’m so happy to see you like this.”

\- -

When Adam came back from his last day of work, as his boss’ health was better and so his contract was ending, Nigel had prepared homemade pizza, bought ice cream and got a movie ready.

“I knew you would be sad to leave this job at the library, so I thought I could try to prepare a cosy evening for you.”

“I’m glad his health is better but I’m sad to leave this place yes, it was a nice job. Even with the customers. Thank you Nigel”

“You’re welcome, Little Star.” Nigel smiled. “I’m going to put the pizza in the oven, it should be ready in thirty minutes. You should take a warm shower, it will help you getting relaxed.”

Adam thanked him again and put down his bag and coat before getting into the bathroom. He carefully placed his clothes into the laundry bin and got under the hot water stream with a happy sigh. He stretched a bit, appreciating the comfort and feeling the tensions from the day slipping away, and started to wash soon after. Nigel was appreciating to stay for a very long time in the bathtube, especially when Adam was washing his hair, but Adam prefered to take care of that quickly to be able to do something else.

Nigel’s pizza, even if it was very ugly, was excellent, with a lot of cheese, and that was all of what Adam was asking for.

“I’m going to have to look for a new job again.” He said with a sad voice at the end of the meal. “I don’t even know where I could look, I’ve been rejected by some many places.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something. You’re way smarter than I am and you don’t scare recruiters like I do. And you have time to find a new job, remember that I have enough money for a while.”

“It won’t last forever and I prefer having my financial independence. But it’s not against you or anything and...”

“I know, I know. And I understand. Don’t worry. But you are going to let that go for a week before searching again, ok?”

“Why waiting a week? A day or two, why not. But why a full week?”

“Because it’s your birthday in a few days.”

“Yes, and? What does it change? You know I won’t throw a party for that.”

“I know. But... I planned a little something for you? Not a party of course. We will be away for a few days. Everything is ready. I wanted to keep it a surprise and errr... it took me a long time to manage to set it up, because I’m still not very well. So I wasn’t able to tell you before today. But... I hope it will be fine?” Nigel asked, full of hope.

Adam’s first thought was panic. A surprise? A few days away? For his birthday?! That was so scary!  
But in front of him was Nigel, his Nigel, rough and cursing angel who was so soft inside. And who knew him so well, probably better than he knew himself. There was no risk it could be a bad surprise.

“The thought of a surprise and of being away for days scared me a little bit at first.” Adam admitted, and then stood up to take Nigel in his arms. “But you’re the one who organized it, and I trust you, so I know it will be fine.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m so fucking glad I did.”

“Then tell me a little bit more about that surprise?” Adam tried, pushing his luck and making Nigel laughed.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise anymore, right?”

“Oh please! Just a little bit?”

“Ok, ok. It’s probably better this way, because I’ll never be able to hide everything from you until we arrive. We’ll have to take a plane, I hope it will be fine for you. I asked Harlan and he said it probably would.”

“I never took a plane and airports seem to be scary, but with you, everything is easier. It will be fine.”

Nigel kissed him on the corner of the mouth, as he was always doing, and let Adam turn his head to conclude the kiss. He then took two flight tickets he had hidden before starting to cook and handed them to Adam.

“Florida? Leaving the day after tomorrow in the afternoon.” Adam asked after a quick look. “What are we going to do in Florida? You have hidden the precise destination with a sticky note.”

“It was just in case you would find the tickets. You’re sure you want to know?”

“You love building suspense but yes, please. Just a little bit? Like for the exhibition we’ve been to.”

“It’s something you will like.”

“Niiiigel!”

“Something you will love.”

“Oh please, tell me!”

“Let me build some suspense, as you said.”

“No. Tell me.” Adam laughed.

“We are going to spend three days in Cap Canaveral. We’ll visit the Kennedy Space Center and we’ll see a rocket take-off. Big luck for this part, I wasn’t sure it would happen at the right date before yesterday.”

Adam’s mouth dropped open and he took a step back, staring at Nigel with disbelief.

He had dreamt about getting there since his childhood. But his father never had the time to get there with him, and he had never dared going alone. Just the plane part was way too scary if he was alone. He had once suggested to Beth to go, but she hadn’t been interested at all, so he had never talked about this again. Not even to Harlan or Nigel.

“Are you ok?” Nigel asked, concerns in his voice. “You look... frozen.”

“How did you know I wanted to go?”

“I didn’t. But it was logical. A place with rockets and all this stuff... that’s a place for you! Darko helped me booking everything.”

“I wanted to go since childhood, but I never told you about it.”

“No need to. You love space-related stuff, it makes you happy, and I want you to be happy. So I’m bringing you to the more space-related place of Earth.”

Adam slowly took a step in Nigel’s direction, then a second one, and then fell in his arms.

“You like my gift?”

Adam nodded with force, not even trying to stop the tears of happiness that were rolling on his cheeks.

\- -

Back home after their trip, Adam was still blissfully wandering into his memories from the rocket take-off, the Atlantis Space Shuttle and everything they had seen. Nigel was definitely the best for gifts and surprises. The brand new watch around Adam’s wrist, a black Xeric Apollo 11 created to celebrate the fiftieth birthday of the Moon landing, was another proof of Nigel’s talent for gifts. On the hidden side of the dial were engraved the words “To my Little Star, from Big Bad Nigel”.

For a minute, when they were at a fancy restaurant where Nigel had gifted him the watch, Adam had been scared. Not scared of Nigel who had been looking at him with adoring eyes the whole evening, but scared to have missed his birthday. Nigel was doing so many great things for him that missing his birthday would be, in Adam’s opinion, a very rude move. Luckily, Adam learnt this evening that Nigel’s birthday was the next month and that he hadn’t missed anything.

But now... Adam had to find an idea. How Nigel would like to celebrate his birthday? What kind of gift could he like? Adam was suddenly feeling like he was not knowing him at all. Nigel liked cars and cigarettes and watching TV. And swearing. That was not helping at all.  
A day Nigel was sleeping very late, Adam decided to contact Darko. He was still a little bit scared of him but their last chat, about Nigel and tattoos, had been great, so after all... maybe he would be ready to help again.

“Hello Darko. Nothing bad happened, but I need your help, if you’re ok with that.”

“Hi. Yeah, tell me? I’ll try to help.”

“It’s Nigel’s birthday next month and I have no idea of what he would like to do to celebrate or what kind of gift I could get him. I feel like I know him without knowing him, if that makes sense. I’ve made a list of what he likes, but it’s not helping.”

“What’s on your list?” Darko asked.

“Cars, swearings, cigarettes and watching tv. That’s not helping at all.”

“Add yourself on the list.”

“What do you mean?”

“That he loves you, and that love is the center of his life.”

“Oh ok. That’s nice.” Adam stopped talking for a second. “It’s done, I’ve added my name to the list. What do I do now?”

“I didn’t mean adding it for real or... well, whatever, it’s not important. We never really celebrated his birthday or mine, to be honest. Just... another evening with alcohol and recreational drugs and strippers. More alcohol and drugs than another day, and that’s all. But I don’t think he would like that anymore. And I’m not even sure he liked that in the first place. He loves you, being with you, talking with and about you. You should plan something from both of you.”

“I’ve also a list of the most wanted gifts for men of his age. I gathered the elements on several websites.”

“This kind of website is often silly but tell me? What’s on the list?”

“Concerts, shows, festivals.”

“No, he told me you didn’t like that. He won’t want to go if you’re not enjoying it as well.”

“A scuba diving stage?”

“You would like that?”

“No, not at all!” Adam almost screamed with horror. Being stuck under the water, breathing into a bottle and having to stay calm? No, really not for him, thank you.

“So, no, bad ideas. He will want to spend the day with you. What else on this list?”

“A car, a motorbike, a trip in Europe... but I can’t afford that. And I don’t know if he can drive a motorbike.”

“Doesn’t have the license but he can.”

“A tattoo, but the scar on his neck is probably too recent to tattoo on it.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“A pet, but a pet is not a gift, it must be a choice. So even if we talked about having a dog, I won’t get one as a surprise gift. There are also music and cooking lessons on the list, but I don’t think it would be his jam.”

“Me neither.” Darko sighed. “I don’t have a precise idea, to be honest. The only advice I can give you are that he will want to spend the day with you and that he will want you to enjoy it as much as he will, so not something you can’t or doesn’t want to do. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive, even if he prepared you great surprises and everything. He will want something from you, with you, ‘cause he loves you. Romantic dumbass. I was tempted to come a few days here in the US to visit, why not at this moment, but I’ve got too much stuff to do here for now. Gonna have to hang up soon to take care of that. Just... remember he doesn’t want anything precise. Just you. Be yourself.”

After the end of the call, Adam threw away both of the useless lists in the recycling bin. Darko was right, none of that ideas would be a good gift for Nigel. Maybe he could invite some friends? He gave this idea up immediately. Himself didn’t have a lot of friends here, and Nigel either. Harlan and Ruth, and maybe Angie, the girl who liked cars at Beth’s disastrous party. But that was all.  
Be yourself, had said Darko. Romantic stuff.

A couple days later, Adam had found an idea and was starting to plan. An idea so obvious that he was mad at himself for not having got it earlier.

\- -

After an afternoon spent together at the cinema, they had, on Adam’s instructions, left the city for the countryside, getting there just an hour before night. Adam had then installed a big and fluffy blanket on the grass and his telescope aside and had taken a picnic basket from the car boot. He refused all of Nigel’s attempts to help him, because it was his birthday and he already had to drive there and had then proudly announced he had prepared everything himself.

“But it’s very simple food.” He had then said, as an apology.

“I’m sure it will be perfect, it’s made with love.”

“Darko says you’re a romantic. But I don’t think being romantic would be enough to appreciate my almost-non-existent cooking skills.”

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t just say romantic.”

“To be precise, he said romantic dumbass, the last time I talked with him.”

“Yeah, that’s more him.” Nigel laughed. “But no, promised, it’s good. Not perfect, ok. But it’s good. Not lying. And I don’t care if it’s simple.”

After having eaten the not-so-bad food Adam had prepared, night was finally here. Far away from the city and its lights, the sky was so beautiful. A lot of stars were visible, full constellations, and Adam showed a lot of them to Nigel with the telescope, until it became dark enough to see shooting stars. They let the telescope where it was and came back to lie down on the blanket, Nigel’s head on Adam’s chest. He had protested a little bit at first, because he liked having Adam lying on him. But Adam had started to play with his hair and Nigel had stopped his protests.

“It’s a great thing you’re born in August, it’s the best moment to see shooting stars. The name is not really adapted, as they are not stars, but it’s beautiful.”

“What are they, if not stars?” Nigel asked.

“Small meteors, dust burning when it gets into Earth’ atmosphere. Each year in August, Earth meets a cloud of dust left by the Swift-Tutle comet. Dust and small particles get into our atmosphere and are totally burnt, leaving these beautiful marks in the night sky. People say you are supposed to make a wish when you see one.”

“Do you make wishes each time you’ve seen one in your life?”

“No, I don’t think this kind of things works. I just like watching them. May I borrow your lighter please?”

Nigel fumbled in his pockets for a while before finding his lighter on the blanket, probably fallen when he had lain down earlier.

“Whatever you are planning to do, don’t burn your fingers.”

“I won’t.”

A couple of minutes passed. Nigel wasn’t able to see what Adam was doing from his place, but it didn’t seem to go very well.

“Nigel? It’s not working.”

“It is, I used it not long ago.”

“I never used a lighter like this one.”

“It’s an old one. You have to rub the stone to produce a spark before pressing the button.”

“Nigel?”

“Yes?”

“Now it’s working.”

“Great.”

“No, it’s not. I burnt my fingers! And the candles are still not lighted. I... I made you a cake. I wanted to put candles on it, like a real birthday cake even if it’s not one. I wanted it to be a surprise! But I can’t light them up.”

“Gimme the lighter. I’ll pretend I haven’t seen anything.” Nigel said, getting up to stand near Adam who was holding a plate very carefully in one hand and the lighter in the other one.

“It doesn’t work like this.”

“It’s only us. We can decide that it’s working like this. Let me light them.”

Adam finally agreed and let Nigel see the cake, a big chocolate brownie with white frosting spread on top and “Happy birthday Nigel” written with letters made of sugar. Three candles were stuck on it, more or less in the middle.

“I’m sorry, it’s not as great as one from a bakery... But I talked with Darko, a couple weeks ago and he convinced me that you would prefer something I made over something bought. It’s a chocolate brownie, and the frosting is vanilla. I made it before you got up this morning.”

“I prefer, indeed. It’s perfect, I love chocolate.” Nigel said sincerely. Darko had sometimes good advice, apparently.

Adam put the plate with the cake in Nigel’s hands.

“You have to blow out the candles and make a wish now. Happy birthday Nigel.”

“I already have everything I could ever ask for: I have you. Wishing it will last forever.” Nigel said, a thousand percents sincere, and he blew out the candles.

Adam knelt clumsily on the floor in front of him.  
“Nigel, meeting you has been the best thing life ever sent to me. I’m so happy we met, so happy we got to know each other, so happy we fell in love. I’m not talented to say those things, but I’m just so grateful. I know about your past, I know who you are, and it’s totally fine for me. I don’t want you to leave, ever. I’ll tell you that a thousand times if you need to hear it. You accepted me for who I am, you understand me in a way nobody had ever understood me. You saw me at my lowest and you stayed. I’m so happy to have you in my life.” Adam stuttered, overflown with emotions and fighting back tears. “And I want to have you in my life forever. I want *us* to be forever. Nigel Amortalis, will you marry me?”

Adam opened the little box he had hidden in his jacket the whole day, revealing an engagement ring.

Nigel carefully put the plate aside and knelt on the floor in front of Adam. He took him in his arms, closing the distance between them.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rolls in fluff* More flufffff and loooooove yesssss
> 
> The watch Nigel got for Adam exists for real. Google « Xeric Apollo 11 watch » to see it, it’s a wonderful watch and I’m kinda in love with it (I love watches. Like... a lot. Watchesss). Expensive watch, but well... it’s Nigel, he would do anything for Adam, mh? 
> 
> The little chibi drawing can also be seen on my instagram @crafting_archangel (post of the 31st of March 2020) :) and on my art twitter @Crafting_Gaby


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is having a new job interview, wish him luck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of drugs and violence (but not shown, just mentioned)
> 
> Not beta-read

Memories from this night were at the same time blurry and very clear in Adam’s mind, like a vivid dream blossoming into his thoughts.   
Nigel was still asleep, an arm above the head, and Adam was discretly watching him, loving the view of the engagement ring at his finger. He couldn’t help it but smile at the view. 

They hadn’t planned a date for their wedding or anything else for now, but Adam had been totally serious when he had asked Nigel to marry him, it of course wasn’t something he had done just to have a cool birthday gift to give. Darko had said Nigel would enjoy something personal, something Adam-related, and that was probably the best way to do it. Adam had never really considered getting married before meeting Nigel, or maybe just a little bit when he was with Beth. But now that he had asked... it felt like it was the best idea in the world. It would take time to organize their wedding in the way they would like it the best, and they even hadn’t started to talk about it. But they had all the time in the world. 

It was still quite early, but Adam decided to get up. He had a job interview at ten in the morning and staying in bed to lovingly watch Nigel sleeping wasn’t going to help him, even if it was a very pleasant activity. He got ready and let a note on the kitchen table to explain where he was, just in case Nigel would have forgotten. 

Nigel hadn’t forgotten but was still pleased to find these few handwritten words. The interview Adam had left for was for a job related to his electronic engineering diploma. It had seemed very boring to Nigel when Adam had described him the job, but his Little Star was very motivated to get it, so he was mentally crossing his fingers for him. Adam wouldn’t be home before at least an hour or maybe two...

“Hey Darko. Was bored, decided to call you.”

“Could have said you wanted to talk, but hello to you too.”

“Ok, ok. Not bored. Just wanted to show you that.” Nigel put his hand in front of the webcam. “Adam asked me to marry him, yesterday.”

“Did you say yes?” Darko asked with a concerned look.

“Did I... of course I fucking said yes, you asshole!”

“I knew it! Don’t pout. You should have seen your face!” Darko grinned. “So worth it.”

“Bastard.”

“Love you too. So, this wedding. When?”

“We haven’t decided yet. Haven’t even talked about it yet. He doesn’t know a lot of people and me neither, especially here, so it will be quite small. I guess it’s easier to organize.”

“Probably. I don’t know much about wedding planning to be honest.”

“Me neither. My wedding with Gabbi was not... I mean, I was truly happy to get married with her, but I don’t want the ceremony to go in the same way. I don’t even remember how it went.”

“You passed out from alcohol or drugs or both after a couple of hours, if I remember well. I did too. Not a lot of memories. Happy you don’t want to do the same again. Anything precise in mind?”

“Not really. I think Adam will invite his old friend Harlan and his girlfriend. Maybe people from his new job, if he gets the one he is trying to get right now. And if he creates links with some of them, and that’s not really something he usually does. Not Beth, I hope.”

“Beth is the bitchy one you told me about?”

“Yeah, her. His ex, and former friend. I don’t think he’ll want her there, and I clearly don’t fucking want her there either. Adam will prefer a small ceremony I think. Yes, that’s sure. Some simple and beautiful.” Nigel answered, trying to figure out what would be the best. 

“And you, what would you like? You’re only talking about him.”

“I don’t know, it’s not really important.”

“I’m sure it is to him.” Darko said, wisely.

“I don’t know what I would like. I just want to be with him.”

“Yeah, that’s the point of marrying him.”

“I’d like you to be there.” Nigel confessed. “If you’re fine with all of that. I’d like you to be my best man.”

“Sure, man. We know each other since so long! I’ll be there for you.”

“Thank you Darko. Sincerely.”

“Anytime.”

\- -

When Adam came back home later that day, Nigel could say at the second he closed the door that something was wrong.

“What’s going on, Little Star?”

“I failed, I didn’t get the job.” Adam answered, dropping heavily on the couch. “It was, it was... It would have been a dream job, associating electronic and space! But no, I failed. I always fail job interviews.”

“I’m sorry... I know it was important for you.”

Nigel sat on the couch too and squeezed Adam in a tight hug.

“There will be other jobs, other interviews. And don’t worry for the money, I’ll take care of that part if needed. I understand you prefer to earn your own money, but you don’t have to worry about that for now, promised.”

“I know, I know. I was just... really believing it would work this time.” Adam sighed. “But I’m happy to see you got up on your own today.” He said genuinely. Every little progress Nigel was making was a good news. “Did you do something special? Did you finish the drawing you were working on during the day before your birthday?”

“Not yet, but I promise I’ll finish it. And the dermographe I ordered should be delivered today.”

“It’s the tattoo machine you told me about?”

“Yes it is. Can’t reuse the one I was using years ago, it’s lost somewhere, probably in the back room of a strip club or trashed. I’ve picked some lemons and grapefruits at the supermarket when we went a couple days ago. It’s often used to learn to tattoo and as I’ve forgotten a lot... better to restart with that, and also with fake skin, before doing it for real on my leg or somewhere else.”

“It must be hard to tattoo your own skin.”

“I only did it once, I always had people who were willing to let me try on them for free, mainly thanks to drugs, which is... not a great thing at all, but it was kinda normal for me at this moment. Totally normal, to be honest. I didn’t care about how high they were, they were just canvas. But I know it’s something really usual, almost all the tattoo artists tattoo themselves first.”

“What did you tattoo on yourself?”

“Don’t laugh but... a dog, a dachshund, on my right calf. That’s why I got my dog shirt, years after. I don’t really remember why... probably saw a dog outside and thought it looked cool. And as it’s not a part of my skin I was showing often, it didn’t matter. I don’t know yet what I’ll do this time.”

“Is it harder to tattoo on yourself or on somebody else?”

“Way harder to do it on myself. The angle is not right and it’s not possible to change it by moving of course.”

“Then you could try on me.” Adam suggested. 

“What? No, no. I don’t want to take the risk to give you for life an awful tattoo!”

“I trust you and I love your drawings, I’m sure it wouldn’t be failed. And... maybe I don’t fit the usual description of a person wanting a tattoo...”

“Not really, but I thing a lot of people are getting tattoos now so I don’t think there is really a type.”

“... but I often find that beautiful and am sincerely interested. Please.”

“Well... we’ll talk about it again in few weeks, ok? Grapefruits first and maybe if I manage to do something not too bad, maybe I’ll consider your offer.”

“Ok.” Adam nodded. “I’ll remind you that in a few weeks. Oh, my phone is ringing. Excuse me, just a second...”

Adam took his phone in his bag and gulped. He really hated phone calls. He pressed the answering button just in time before the ringing stop.

“It’s fine, you can do it.” Nigel mouthed silently with an encouraging smile.

Adam smiled in return, stood up and spent a couple of minutes over the phone.

“... I’ll tell you in maximum two days, yes. It’s a big decision, I need time. Yes, two days, not more. Thank you.”

He hung up and sat back on the sofa with a lost puppy look on his face.

“Troubles?” Nigel asked. “Need me to be big bad Nigel or something?”

“I’m not sure... The call was from the place where I had this job interview earlier today.”

“They changed their mind?”

“In a way, yes. Not for the job I was applying to, but for another one.”

“And? Is it a good job? Something you’re skilled for? I’m sure it is, my smart and gorgeous Little Star. Something interesting? Better than the one they didn’t want to give you or not at all?”

“It’s even better than the one I applied to. More interesting. No need to code or to deal with electronics. Just space. It’s a job at an observatory. Managing the library mainly dedicated to space they have there, and giving a tour to visitors on the days the observatory is open for visits. The library is mainly used by researchers, astrophysicists.”

“Sounds great! Why this sad look on your face then? It’s awesome!”

“It’s not here in New York. There are no observatory here.”

“Is it far?”

“California.”

“Never went there but it seems to be beautiful. Lots of sun, I think. And they have a Disneyland park in Anaheim.”

“I didn’t know you were interested by Disneyland.”

“Never went there, I’m just curious. What’s the problem with this job or with California? Is it because it’s far away?”

Adam nodded and suddenly Nigel understood. Adam and his habits, needing his routines to be ok. Totally changing his life for a new job, moving at the opposite side of the country, in a place he had never been before... Of course it was a problem. 

“When I was with Beth,” Adam said “I got a job offer for a position in Florida. It’s far away too.”

“They have Disneyworld.” Nigel added.

“It was a great job, it really seemed awesome and interesting, even if not as amazing as this one I’ve been offered just now. The goal was to develop algorithms to analyze the moves of stars in the sky.”

“Sounds complicated.”

“It is. But really interesting. But... I didn’t want to move, I was too scared, and I’m still scared.” Adam mumbled, rubbing his palms on his clothes and not letting Nigel take his hands like he usually did. “So I asked Beth. I went all the way through the city to go at her parents’ house and to ask her if she wanted to leave for Florida with me. Her dad... her dad was here. I heard them talking. He was saying I couldn’t have feelings, and that if I was saying I was loving her, it was not true, because I couldn’t love like everybody do. But I can!” He yelled.

“Shhhh. It’s ok. I know you can. Gimme your hands.” Nigel said with a comforting voice.

“And she agreed with him.” Adam continued after having let Nigel take his hands in his. “She didn’t know yet I was here. Then, in front of me, she acted as usual.”

“As a bitch.”

“Yes, that’s quite true. I still suggested her to move with me in Florida. As a writer, she didn’t have to stay in New York specifically, she had told me earlier. She could write her children books anywhere. And I loved her. I couldn’t imagine restarting my life somewhere else, living somewhere else. But with her, I would have been ready to.”

“And she thinks you’re not able to love... I guess she said no?”

“Indeed. And she broke up with me.”

“What a fucking bad timing. She really... well, you know my opinion about her.” Nigel spat.

“I know. And I agree. But at this moment... I was just seeing the possibility of a new life, scary of course but I was ready to face that with her. And then I was alone again, with the certitude nobody could ever love me, because I’m different. The next day, I called to say I didn’t want to take this job. I didn’t have the strength to leave alone. Harlan would have supported me, he said me that when we talked about all of that, later. He would have helped me to move, to go to the airport, to prepare my stuff... everything. But his life is here, his job is here, Ruth too. He wouldn’t have moved. And I don’t wish to live with him as roommates.”

Adam sighed loudly before resuming.

“And now I’m in front of the same kind of choice again. Getting this job would mean moving. So far. In a place I’ve never been to. Selling the appartment here, finding another one. Taking a plane. Getting my stuff shipped there. All these social things I hate and can’t do well. Restarting.”

Nigel thought for a minute before asking: “Would you really enjoy this job? Don’t think about the place, just the job itself. If it was here, would you take it?”

“Yes. No hesitation. It’s litterally a dream come true! Space and books and not having to be very social. Yes, of course.”

“But you’re afraid to have your life changed. But you could keep your habits there, you know. It’s not because you would be in California that you couldn’t eat Mac&cheese, You could have the same sleep schedule, the same chores planning, the same sofa.”

“Yes, I could, you’re not wrong.”

“But you’re afraid to move.”

“Yes. I’ve lived here my entire life. It’s so scary. And it requires so many paperwork, phone calls and to be social to manage everything. I just... I can’t imagine doing that alone. I’m too scared.”

“Who said you would have to do it alone?”

“You would come with me?” Adam asked with a shy voice, not really daring to hope.

“Of course I fucking would. This job would make you happy, right? I want you to be happy. Of course I would move to California with you.” Nigel said and kissed Adam on the corner of the mouth.

“You’re sure?”

“So fucking absolutely sure. And I’ll manage everything. Paperwork and all the stuff. If you pack everything. I’m very bad at organizing and storing.”

“Really sure?” Adam asked again, just in case.

“I am.”

Adam threw his arms around Nigel and hugged him tight. 

“Everything’s gonna be ok, my Little Star. Promised. It’s time for lunch, we are going to eat now to not disturb your habits, and you’ll call them back in the afternoon to say you accept the job. I’m moving with you. You’re going to get to work at this observatory and see the stars every day. Promised.”

“Thank you so much. I’m so happy to have you in my life.”

“And I’m so happy to have you. I love you Adam. I’d relocate in the far away stars for you. California is really close compared to that.”

“It would be long to move until reaching a star. It’s even impossible with our actual technology.”

“I know. But still, I would do it for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and love and support 💚💚💚 it really means a lot to me.   
> This story is really helping me these last months, and I’m glad to see people enjoying it
> 
> Next chapter on Tuesday if everything go as planned


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let’s move to California!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: swearings, Nigel threatening a rude person... the usual
> 
> Thanks a lot for the comments and kudos <3 <3 <3
> 
> Not beta-read

In the afternoon, Adam called the observatory to confirm he was accepting the job. They gave him a delay of one month, as he had to move, and he started to freak out in front of such a short notice, but Nigel reassured him. It was totally possible for them to be relocated in California in less than a month. 

On Nigel’s suggestion, Adam then decided to call Harlan to tell him about this, about his new job and also that they were now engaged. While he was on the phone, Nigel’s brand new dermographe arrived and Adam observed with curiosity his soon-to-be-husband assembling the machine. Nigel then left the room to trace flowers on a grapefruit, to not disturb Adam’s phone call with the noise, even if this machine was way less noisy than the one he had years before. 

Talking with Harlan really convinced Adam that moving in California with Nigel was the right thing to do. His old friend had been very enthusiastic about this project, and sincerely happy to learn they were engaged and that he would have such a great job. 

“I’ll miss him.” Adam signed when he joined Nigel after hanging up. “I know him since forever and he has always been nice. He is really happy for both of us.”

“He is a great man. We’ll come back here to visit him or he’ll come to visit us, don’t worry. And you’ll call him. It won’t be as easy to see him as it is now, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Yes. I’m sure he’ll come, he has never been in California but he’d like to visit, he told me. How is it going with the grapefruit?”

“Pretty well. Better than I expected, to be honest. I guess I haven’t forgotten everything. Is the noise ok for you, by the way? I left the room to let you chat with Harlan on the phone, but I don’t want to disturb you now either.”

“It’s not a nice noise, and I think I’ll wear a headset in the future when you’ll be using it, but it’s ok. It’s fascinating to see you using it, it’s so... unusual. I had never seen that before. And it makes me happy to see you doing something that makes you happy. You’ll become a great tattoo artist when we will be in California.”

“I’m not convinced... so many places rejected me. Being able to tattoo flowers on a grapefruit and having realized many drawings on paper probably won’t be enough. And...err... I still need to sleep a lot. But yeah, I’d like that. Not being an useless failure anymore.”

“You’re not an useless failure. I will never let you say that! I’m sure you’ll get better. And if it helps you to sleep... well, these tattoo parlors will wait for you to get better, that’s all. You’re going to help me getting this dream job, and you said you were going to manage our relocation, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it.”

“See? Not useless. You should start doing that, and I’m going to start to sort and pack my stuff. I never moved, so there is probably a lot of items I don’t use anymore...”

“I think you’re too organized to have useless items, but yeah, better starting early.”

\- -

Two weeks later, they were almost ready. Nigel had used Darko’s contacts to find a place and had made a round trip in California to check if it would be ok for Adam. Adam had stayed home during this trip, to continue to prepare the packages, but Nigel had shown him everything through video-chat. They were now happily renting a little house in a quiet area, with a little garden and neighbors not-too-close, a very important point for the noise. Nigel would have prefered to buy a house or an appartment, but it was frightening Adam to take this decision now. Later, maybe. The stress of the relocation and of his new job were way enough for now. And after all, without really knowing the area, renting was the safest. 

“I’m sure you’ll like this house. It’s small but the neighborhood is peaceful.”

“And the garden would make it easier to adopt a dog.”

“True. We could get one in a few weeks, after having taken the time to settle down. Have you packed everything? The removal truck is coming in four days now.”

“Almost finished. There are only the books left.”

“The books? Four days are never going to be enough!” Nigel laughed. “You’ve got a lot. I’ll help you if you want.”

“Yes, I’d like that, thank you. Is the removal truck going to move your car in California as well?”

“No, one of Darko’s drivers will do it. It’s an expensive car.”

“Are you sure it is safe for you? I mean... considering what happened the last times you met Pete’s men.” Adam asked nervously.

“Yeah, he’s Darko’s guy, not Pete’s, or dumbass cousin’s. He drives shipments all across the country on Darko’s commands, and Darko’s only. Not involved in any other aspects of his business. Just driving the truck, no matter what’s inside. A ride to California from New York is usual for him. He’ll come in two days, so the car will arrive the same day as us.”

“Oh, ok. It’s reassuring, thank you. Let’s pack the books then.”

While Adam was sorting his books by topic, so each box would have a precise title, Nigel was swearing and packing them.

“Insulting the duct tape won’t make it glue better.”

“I know! And I don’t want it to glue better, I want it to fucking stop gluing on itself! Or on me!”

“Let me help. I hate it too when it glues on me, I hate the feeling of that on my skin. You never packed anything or...?”

“Not really. Never got a place I could call home, never moved, never had things to pack or parcels to send to friends or whatever.”

“I see... Well, after packing all of that, you’ll be ready to pack anything I think, even Christmas gifts.”

“I don’t see the link between packing to move and packing Christmas gifts.”

“Christmas gifts have weird shapes and are hard to pack. And the tape glues on itself and on you as well. One year, Harlan and I offered a bike to my dad, and I had to pack it. It was awful.” Adam shuddered at the memory.

“Seen like this... boxes seems easy indeed.”

“Yes, it’s just long and you’re not used to that. I never packed to move either, of course, but I like things to be tidy and organized so packing things is something I’m used to do.”

They worked while chatting for a moment, until Adam stopped, a book in his hands and a melancholic look on his face.

“What’s going on?” Nigel asked.

“I’m not sure of what I should do with this one.”

“What is it about?”

“Raccoons. It’s a child book. It’s Beth’s, she gave me a copy after... after everything. Months after we broke up. It was nice to think about me and to give me one, but it brings back bad memories.”

Adam gave the book to Nigel and let him go through the pages for a minute.

“I like the drawings,” Adam continued “but I’m still uncomfortable with it.”

“No need to keep something that makes you uncomfortable, you should get rid of it. Do you want to burn it as a revenge?”

“No! Burning things is... it’s fine, but it’s your thing, not mine. It’s hers but it’s a book, and I don’t want to hurt a book.”

“You’re cute, Little Star.”

“Maybe, but I won’t burn a book. Even hers. Poor paper raccoons.”

“You should give it to a school then. Or an association, like the old clothes you put in that bag?”

“Oh. Yes. An association. It’s a good idea. I’ll get rid of it but it will still be useful for someone. Yes, that’s the best solution, thank you.”

\- -

“You’re sure you’ve got everything?”

“Don’t ask that, you’re going to get Adam even more nervous than he already is.” Nigel laughed.

Harlan had offered to drive them to the airport for their big departure. All of their stuff had left the apartment in time in the removal truck and would arrive at the same time as them. Nigel’s car was on its way too, and Darko’s driver had promised he would arrive a couple of hours before them. Adam of course had his usual bag, and Nigel had taken a backpack to put some useful things just in case the removal truck would be late, but they were sure they had everything. 

Or at least, Nigel was sure. Adam was overflown by nervosity and was all the time checking everything.   
Did they have the flight tickets? Yes, Nigel had them, and they had copies on their phones just in case.   
Could they have forgotten something at the appartment? No, impossible. It was totally empty when they had left the previous day, to spend the night at Harlan’s instead of in the empty, and newly sold, appartment.   
Would the removal truck be there on time? They better would, or Nigel was going to have to do something for that. 

“What if...” Adam started.

“No, it won’t.” Nigel answered.

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

“Indeed. But I’m sure it’s a question created by anxiety, and anxiety alone. Everything will be fine.” He smiled. “We will take the plane, we have our tickets and it’s on time, you saw it yourself on the big screen. Then, the flight will last for a few hours, and when we will land, we’ll take a cab to get to our new house. The removal truck will arrive an hour after us. I promise everything will be fine. And even if things were going badly, like... if the truck was very late. We would stay for a night at an hotel near the airport, it’s no big deal. I planned everything. It will be fine.”

“You should maybe go through the customs right now.” Harlan suggested. “Not that I want you two to leave as soon as possible, but it would already be one stressful element removed, don’t you think?”

“It’s true, it’s very stressful.” Adam admitted. “I don’t like it for myself, and I’m afraid Nigel would have problems.”

“I didn’t when we flew to Florida for your birthday. I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Do you want to do as Harlan said? We could maybe sit for a while after, having coffee or something, while not being far away from our gate.”

“Yes, it would be better. Not that I want to leave you earlier...” Adam said to Harlan.

“It’s totally fine.” His old friend said. “I know it’s not to get rid of me. And we will still see each other, of course. Ruth and I will come to visit you, or you’ll come to visit us. Totally fine. Good luck for your new job, Adam. Your dad would have been so proud and happy, you know? Moving in a house in California with your boyfriend for a dream space job. Yeah, I’m sure he would have been very happy and proud. Take care, and give me news.”

“Thank you so much for everything, Harlan.” Adam said with emotion, hugging him briefly. “Yes, for everything, and for driving us to the airport and saving Nigel and... all the things. Yes. I’ll call you when we will be at the house.”

“You’ll do great, don’t worry. And if there is any problem, you’ve got your Nigel.”

Adam nodded and took a step back, letting a little bit of space for Nigel to get near to Harlan. He thanked him several times, for fixing him, for all the help he gave them and for all the times he helped Adam, for his advices. Harlan stopped him after a while.

“I got it, no need to make a list. And you’re welcome. Don’t worry. It was a pleasure to meet you, a little bit less to have to patch you up but it’s fine. Hope to see you two soon.”

A minute later, Nigel was leading a very moved Adam through the customs, after having waved goodbye to Harlan. They queued, more or less patiently, and made their way through the controls without any problems. Their flight was not opened for boarding yet, but they found an empty table at a cafe not far away from their gate. 

“I feel a little bit better now that we have passed the customs.” Adam sighed. “I was afraid something would not be ok, like... I don’t know. My bag, for example. Or you.”

“I’m totally innocent and pure.” Nigel snarled. “The thing that bothers me in airport is that I can’t smoke. I’m going to order a coffee. An extra large one. Do you want something?”

“If they have a hot drink like the Stardust Chocolate from the cafe where we met, I’d like that, please. And donuts. They have so many colorful donuts in their display...”

“Sure.”

Nigel came back a few minutes later with their drinks and donuts, and they sat in silence while Adam was carefully examining each donut one by one.

“Do you think I should have told Beth I was moving to another state?”

“No. Why would you? Would you have liked having her telling you fake goodbyes and good wishes?”

“You’re right, that’s probably what she would have done... Maybe she would have offered to drive us.”

“I don’t trust her. I would never get in a car if she was driving it, or if her stupid boyfriend was, and I would certainly not let you get in a car with her. Nah, we are better with her being far away from us. You should delete her number.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Why?”

“So, if she calls, I will be able to know it’s her and to not answer.”

Nigel laughed. “Best reason ever.”

\- -

Adam’s fear rose again when they finally sat in the plane. 

“It will be better when we will take off.” Nigel said with a reassuring tone. He took Adam’s hand and kissed his knuckles.

“Taking off and landing are the moments where the accident risk is the highest.”

“It will be better when we will have taken off, then.”

“Yes, probably. Don’t let go of my hand.”

“Never. Keeping it in mine until the landing if you want. You should take a plane selfie and send it to Harlan before the take-off. There are still a lot of people getting in, you have time.”

Adam nodded and picked his phone. He was not really used to take selfies and even less to send them, but one of Nigel and him in the plane of their way for they new life sounded good. Adam spent a couple of minutes to find the right angle, trying to get both Nigel and him on the picture with none of them looking weird despite the lack of space and the bad light. Nigel found a solution to the problem by dropping his head on Adam’s shoulder, and Adam finally got a nice selfie he immediately sent to Harlan. 

“I’ll print this one too.” Nigel said, not removing his head.

“How many pictures of me or of us have you printed?”

“I don’t know. I just like having them for real, and not just on a device.” Nigel quickly kissed Adam. “I should have subscribed to the fidelity program at the printer shop. I’ll put some of them on the walls of our new home. Will look great.”

Adam smiled and nodded. The activity had at least allowed him to forget his fear for a few minutes. 

There was only a few persons left now, and they would probably take off soon, as soon as these persons would sit. One of them was arguing with a steward, keeping his voice low but frequently giving quick looks in their direction.

“We don’t have any other seat left,” The steward was saying “so you’ll have to take yours. This flight is totally full. Please, sir, you are going to make us late.”

“He is always looking in our direction... Do you think he’s scared of you?” Adam asked very discreetly.

“I don’t think so... I almost look polite today.”

“Almost?”

“Yeah. ‘cause this guy’s ranting is starting to make me angry.”

“Please sir, I have to insist.” The steward tried.

“I can’t sit there!”

“I assure you, sir, this seat is perfectly safe and comfortable, like any other seat of this flight.”

“They kissed!” The guy shouted.

“I...errr...” The steward hesitated.

“I can’t sit next to people like them, you understand?”

“You’re going to sit your stupid ass on that fucking seat, you asshole.” Nigel growled. “Don’t make us late, or I promise even your mom won’t recognize your fucking face when I’ll be done with you.”

The guy sat clumsily, terrified by this weird guy. He glanced toward the steward to seek help in case Nigel would attack him for real, but the steward gave him a fake smile and left.

“I...”

“Don’t open your fucking mouth, not even once. The whole flight. Or I swear I’ll rip your throat open.”

He nodded and gulped, staring in front of him, not daring to look at the other passengers, in the alley to try to find the steward, or worse, to look toward Nigel and Adam.

“It should be a very pleasant flight now.” Nigel casually said to Adam. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”

\- - -

“It’s a beautiful house.” Adam commented. “Even better than on the pictures you showed me.”

After a very nice flight, as the homophobic guy hadn’t even dared to look at them and had ran away from them as soon as they had been able to get out of the plane, they had followed Nigel’s plan and had taken a cab to their new house. The removal truck was not there yet, but Nigel’s car was parked in front, without a single scratch, and the landlord had left after greeting them. 

“It just looks a little bit surreal for now, as it is empty.”

“The truck should be there soon,” Nigel assured “and once everything will be there, once we will have boxes to unpack in every single room, it won’t look empty anymore.”

“I don’t think I’ll have the energy, or the time, to unpack everything today. It has been a busy day.”

“And we don’t have to. The movers will place the furniture, and we will just unpack the minimum today. The bedsheets, the microwave, a few things... We will unpack everything else in the next days, we have time.”

“What are we going to eat tonight?”

“I was thinking we could order pizzas or something but we can go grocery shopping if you want. It would maybe be better, we could have coffee for tomorrow morning.”

“I like pizza but I’d prefer Mac&cheese. Moving, the airport, the flight and this rude guy, the furniture and starting to unpack... it’s a lot for a single day. Eating something I know would be easier. If it’s fine for you.”

“Totally fine. And my car is here, it will be quick to pick some groceries at the supermarket, that’s not a problem. I’ll go when you’ll start to unpack, if you want.”

“I’d like that, yes, because it will probably be crowded at this time. Thank you, Nigel.”

\- - -

After a couple of chaotic days spent unpacking, shopping for what they were missing and moving the furniture to match what Adam wanted, they finally finished their installation, and they still had a few days to get ready before Adam’s job started. 

“Do you like the house?” Nigel asked, almost timidly. “I know it’s very different from your appartment, but it’s quiet and you liked it on the pictures so... I hope it’s ok.”

“More than ok, I sincerely like it.” Adam smiled. “It’s different indeed but... it’s good. Really. And you, do you like it? I suppose you do, as you chose it but... tell me.”

“I chose it for you to feel good there, not for me. But yes, I like this place.”

“We both are going to live here, so your opinion is as important as mine! You have chosen it based on my tastes and habits but... you’re sure you like it too?”

“Yes, I’m sure” Nigel smiled too. “I had only your interests in mind when I picked it, but I promise I like it too.”

Adam smiled and nodded. “It was very stressful, to move, to come here, and I’m still nervous, as my new job hasn’t started yet. But... I’m happy to be there with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At Adam’s place... I don’t knwo if I would have dared to move so far away like this. Such a big project needs a Nigel to be doable.
> 
> I’m going to slow down my publishing rhythm for this story to once a week or once every two weeks. It’s not at all that I don’t like the story anymore! It’s just that I’m writing something else (a novel. Nothing spacedogs related) and don’t want to rush this new novel nor this story. I prefer publishing less and keeping the quality at the same level 😊


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they have moved, Nigel decides to finally get a new tattoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support <3 At first, I thought this story would have max 3 chapters and would never be read, as it’s not a very known ship and because I’m not a famous fic writer. And we are almost at 20 chapters! This is amazing <3
> 
> Not beta-read

A month had passed. They had now totally settled in their new life in California, and they had resumed Adam’s routines. His job was as wonderful as he had dreamt, and Nigel had finally accepted he needed help. Not professional help, he had refused, but he was at least following Adam’s advices and was slowly getting better.

But before really getting into a new life, Nigel wanted to do something important.

His wounds were healed, and the scar on his neck had beautifully evolved, healed enough to be tattooed on. He had a tattoo there for more than half of his life, and he was almost feeling naked without it.

After days spent looking for tattoo artists, trying to find one with a style he liked, Nigel finally discovered one who would be perfect, just half an hour away by car. After a couple of emails exchanged with this artist, he took an appointment and warned Adam that he was going to be away from home for the day.

“Are you going in a dangerous place?” Adam asked worryingly. “I’m scared for you.”

“No, it’s not risky, I promise. I... I know I took a lot of risks, a few months ago, and that it ended up badly.”

“That’s precisely why I’m so worried. You said it was important for you so...”

“It’s very important for me, but it’s not dangerous. I’m going to get a new tattoo. Here.” He added, pointing the area on his neck. “It’s healed enough now, I’ve talked about it with the artist. Of course, she can still say no when I’ll arrive. For now, she only saw pictures. But I think it will be ok.”

“Oh, a tattoo. I see. Indeed, it’s not dangerous. I just wanted to be sure, you know.”

“Yeah, I understand. I made a lot of mistakes.”

“You did. And I need you. What are you going to get tattooed?”

“It’s a surprise.” Nigel laughed kindly. “You’ll see when I’ll come back tonight.”

“But you already know what it will be? Or is it a surprise for you too?”

“No, no, I already know, and I saw the sketches. The surprise is just for you. Nothing serious, just for fun.”

“I can’t wait to know! Text me if you have any problems during the day.”

“Sure.”

Nigel kissed him goodbye, as Adam was leaving for work, and left soon after. A pleasant car ride, and he parked near the tattoo parlor. He hadn’t said it to Adam, but he was a bit nervous. The neck was a painful area for a tattoo, especially in front and on the nape, and he didn’t know how it would feel over a scar. But he was decided, he really wanted to put all that story with Darko’s cousin behind him, and he pushed the door of the parlor at the precise hour of his appointment.

The tattooist, an enthusiastic forty-something years old woman, examined his neck for a long time before announcing it would be ok.

“Seeing on the pictures is not enough, I prefer being sure.” She explained. “Sorry for the delay.”

“Yeah, no problem, I understand. I’ve been a tattooist, years ago. I still remember things.”

“And you’re not anymore?”

“I stopped. Life got in the way and... well, yeah, I stopped. I wish I hadn’t. I’d like to go back, I’ve resumed drawing and tattooing on fake skin but... that’s not easy.”

“I agree, not an easy world. Are you ready for the stencil? Get in the light, I need to see you better.”

“Yeah, I am.” Nigel turned on his seat to face the window. “I tried to apply to several parlors, while I was living in New York with my boyfriend, but I got rejected everywhere.”

“Not a lot of parlors hire yes... if you want my opinion, it would be easier for you to open your own place, like I did. You’ll need a license, but I suppose you already have one, and to rent a small place, nothing fancy, like here. Just enough to work. It will still be hard of course, it’s not easy to get known.”

“Easier now with internet than when I was younger.”

“Probably yes. Do you have your drawings or something with you? We could chat about it after a while, I always let my clients having breaks, and it will be a long day.”

“I have some in my car, and pictures of others on my phone.”

“Great! We’ll talk about that then, if you want.”

“I would love that.”

“Awesome.” She smiled. “Let’s check that stencil into the mirror, ok? The shapes are not really complicated, but the neck is not an easy area to place a stencil, especially something like this.”

A few changes on parts of the stencil to really match what Nigel had in mind, and a long day started, painful but pleasant. The tattooist’s movements were precise and their chat during the breaks was very interesting. She liked Nigel’s drawings and vividly encouraged him to to resume tattooing.

  * \- -



When Nigel left the parlor, his brand-new tattoo wrapped with a protective layer, he was tired and happy. He quickly sent a text to Adam before sliding in his car, to tell him that he would be home soon. He smiled fondly when his phone started to ring immediately. Adam still hated phone calls, but for Nigel...

“Are you ok?” Adam asked. “I read on the web that tattoos could be very tiresome for the body.”

“Yeah, they generally are. This one was.”

“Will you be ok to drive?”

“I’ve driven in a way worse state than this, back in Romania. I’m tired, that’s all.”

“You should nap before leaving.”

“It’s just a thirty minutes ride!”

“Still risky.”

“But...” Nigel whined.

“Nap. Or just rest a bit. Please. It would reassure me.”

“Fine. Gonna nap in the car then.”

“Thanks a lot. See you soon.”

“I must really be very in love to do that.”

“You are. And I am.” Adam chuckled.

  * \- -



“May I touch it?” Adam asked as soon as he came back from work. Nigel had arrived before him, even if he had taken an hour for a nap before driving. “I’m curious.”

“Not now, it’s not healed. In two weeks, for sure. If the healing goes well.”

“It could go badly?”

“No reason for that but it can always go badly, even if I’ll be careful.”

“I see. May I see it then? Just watching, not touching. I can’t see it well with the wrapping. But maybe you have to keep it?”

“To each tattooist their way, some advice to keep the wrap for a long time, others don’t. She doesn’t. Gonna remove it.”

Nigel carefully removed the plastic wrap and threw it away in the bin before sitting to let Adam examine at his new tattoo. He was very happy with the result, very different from his previous pin-up.

Nigel had now our solar system tattooed on his neck. Mercury, the first one, was located a little bit under the place where the feet of the pin-up had been. The full solar system was then blossoming all along his neck, covering the scar, and was finishing on his nape. A few stars made with dots were randomly placed around and between the planets. The tattooist had done a wonderful job on the colors, and Nigel couldn’t wait to see it healed.

“It’s amazing.” Adam whispered.”

“You’re the best thing that ever happened in my life, Little Star. I thought that... considering your passion for space, it would be a nice way to cover this scar. Like a new departure, if that makes sense.”

“It makes sense. I’m very moved. It’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Nigel smiled. “I like it too. She did a great job.”

“And now... two weeks before being healed?”

“More or less, yeah. It depends of the person, of the tattoo, of the way it has been tattooed, of the colors... But yeah, two weeks should do the trick. And maybe there will be some adjustments to make after, it will depend. Can’t say for now.”

“It’s so long.” Adam whined.

“Even longer for me! At first, it’s gonna be... goo-y. Kinda. Excess of ink getting out, some blood, etc. Then, it is going to itch badly. Then it’s going to be fine.”

“It sounds so annoying.”

“It is quite annoying yes, but it’s part of the process, I don’t really mind.”

“Will still be long for me. It’s just that... I don’t know, I find that fascinating, those colors under your skin. I just want to touch. I’m curious.”

“You can touch me everywhere, just not here for now. But soon. Promised. And... err... I also talked with her about trying to get back to be a tattooist.”

Adam’s face suddenly lit up. Of course the whole talk was interesting, but that? That was clearly the best part! Nigel was finally thinking seriously enough about being a tattoo artist again if he was ready to speak about it with someone else.

“What did she say?” Adam asked, full of hope.

“She has been very encouraging. Motivating. And she liked my drawings, I showed her some on my phone. But she also warned me that it would be complicated, because most of the parlors are never hiring.”

“Could she hire you?”

“No, she works alone in her tiny parlor, she couldn’t do that. Her advice would be do to like her, and to open my own place. It means having a license, finding a place, doing paperwork and finding clients, of course.”

“You already have a license.”

“I had one, you mean. Years ago, in Romania.” Nigel answered. “I guess I could call Darko and ask him to transfer it here.”

“No, I mean you already have it. Here. It’s in the drawer of my desk, in the living room. I asked Darko to transfer it as an US license weeks ago. Almost three months.” Adam answered with a smile.

“But... weeks ago. Three months, even. I was not... I was not planning to get back in that. At all. I was just planning to sleep.”

“I know. But I trusted you, and still trust you. I knew you were going to get better. I knew it was only a matter of time. So I asked Darko to transfer it, so it would be ready for when you would be ready too. I was sure you were going to overcome your demons. ” Adam smiled.

Nigel sat down.“I don’t even know what to say.”

“Say thank you?” Adam suggested.

“Thank you, but it is not enough. I’m just... so grateful and moved. So... I couldn’t even imagine to have in my life someone who believes that much in me. I don’t know how to thank you. No thank you can reach this level of trust.”

“You don’t have to do anything to thank me. Or if you really want to thank me...”

“Yes? Tell me.” Nigel said with hope.

“Use that license. Open your own tattoo parlor. Officially become a tattoo artist. I know you can, and it’s the best way to thank me.”

“Ok, Little Star. I’m going to do that. I’ll start tomorrow to look for a little place to rent or buy to open that, and to do the paperwork needed for that. And I’ll continue to draw and to train every day. And I’ll start to try to build a customer base as soon as possible. And when everything will be settled, we’ll get married. Thank you, my love, for giving a new life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love drawing Nigel like this, with this space tattoo. That’s why I chose to give him that new tattoo in the story, just because I had liked drawing him in this way.   
> If you want to see more details of this drawing, it is on my insta (@crafting_archangel) and on my art twitter (@crafting_gaby)
> 
> What is said about tattoos is from my own experience and researches. I hope I didn’t say to much wrong things ^^' I’m not a tattooist, I only have small tattoos, I’m just interested by all this world. So... sorry for the mistakes. 
> 
> I don’t know when I’ll publish chapter 20. As I said previously, I’m also writing a novel and can’t work on both at the same time of course. So... in 10 days or two weeks I think :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nigel is opening his tattoo parlor and Adam wants to help him getting clients

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I’m working on a novel at the same time and didn’t want to rush the chapter. 
> 
> Nigel doesn’t swear in this chapter, and it’s so unusual that I wanted to say it. Nothing weird in this, he just doesn’t have the occasion to swear. 
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy this new chapter :)
> 
> Not beta read

“I want to be your first client.”

“Adam, we’ve talked about this and you know I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“And I do think it is.” Adam answered. They already had had this conversation several times. “You have opened your tattoo parlor, legally and everything...”

“It feels weird, doing things legally.”

“You’ll get used to it. But now that it is opened and ready, what are you going to do? Waiting for clients to get in at random won’t work.”

“You’ve posted my drawings on paper and on fake skin and grapefruits on social medias, and some people seem to like them.”

“Yes, indeed, but that won’t be enough. People will want to see your work tattooed for real before wanting to contact you. Trust me. I don’t know much about people or tattoos, but I know how social medias work. Their algorithms need more content from you. And it’s not only for advertising. I really want a tattoo from you.”

Nigel grumbled a minute. He was so afraid to fail a tattoo on Adam! So afraid to hurt him! But at the same time, how could he say no to his Little Star looking at him with big blue eyes full of hope and trust? 

“Fine. I could at least work on a drawing for you, I guess. It’s not that I don’t want to tattoo you. It’s just that I’m just scared of failing.”

“Why would you? You know your job. But yes, start with the drawing.”

“What would you like?”

“A raccoon.”

Nigel laughed but listened to Adam’s ideas. He wanted a raccoon, but not any random raccoon. No, Adam wanted a raccoon in a spacesuit, but without the helmet to be able to see its cute little ears. And also stars and a cartoon planet in the back, as a kind of scenery. 

\- -

Adam had the next day off, and he and Nigel had decided that he would get tattooed this day. Nigel, waiting alone in their house while Adam was at work, was tempted to change the drawing one more time. There was certainly details that were not perfect enough, right? And he wanted only the best for his Little Star. But Adam had already validated the drawing, and it would be very unprofessional to modify it now.  
Luckily, an unexpected call from Darko stopped his thoughts. 

“Hi Nigel. Congrats for the tattoo parlor. Adam told me you had just opened.”

“Hi. And thanks. Yeah, I finished to get everything installed only a couple days ago.”

“Already got some clients? Or appointments for the next days or something?”

“No, not yet. Adam posted my work on the web but it’s not enough. I need to have real tattoos to show.”

“I could send you pictures of the ones you did on me, even if they are old.”

“Oh yes, thanks. Send me that. I think people can be interested by that. Seeing how a tattooist’s work evolves in the years. Yeah, it’s a nice idea. And for fresh ink... err... Adam wants to be my first client, as he said.”

“To help you getting more examples of your work?”

“Yes. But I don’t know. I’m scared.”

“To hurt him?” Darko asked. “Tattoos always hurt, I’m sure he knows that.”

“He does. But I’m also afraid to fail the drawing or something.”

“You didn’t fail the one you made on you recently, right? Nor the ones you made on fake skin.”

“No, indeed.” Nigel admitted.

“So? Why would you fail this one? You won’t. You’ll give him an awesome tattoo, I’m sure of that. If you could tattoo cool things in the back room of a strip-club, with noise and alcohol and everything, I’m sure you’ll manage in a calm tattoo parlor. And your man trusts you.”

“Yeah... I guess you’re probably right.”

“I’m always right.”

\- -

When Adam came back home in the evening this day, he asked one more time to see the drawing. 

“Are you sure you like it?” Nigel asked anxiously.

“Of course I am. I just wanted to see it one more time on paper. Are you sure you can’t tattoo it now instead of waiting tomorrow? I’m so impatient!”

“I’m glad you’re impatient, but yes, I’m sure. It will take hours, and it would mess up your schedule. But don’t worry, I’ve got everything ready for tomorrow.”

“I feel like I’m not the worried one, for once.” Adam smiled.

“True. I know I know how to tattoo. I know I can do it. But I’m still worried. I guess it will get better when we will start tomorrow. I’ll be focused, not more place for worrying. By the way... this morning, before leaving for work, you told me you wanted to show me something. What is it?”

“Oh yes, indeed. I hadn’t forgotten. Give me a second.”

Adam fumbled into his bag for a minute to find a notebook and picked his tablet from the table.

“I’ve done researches about dogs. Which breed would be the most adapted to our lives, their needs, the best food, everything. And also about the local dogs breeding places and the shelters.”

“And what are your conclusions?”

“That I really want a dog as soon as possible.” Adam smiled.

“Well, it’s a good conclusion, I like it.” Nigel chuckled. “And?”

“That there is not a precise breed we should get, even if, considering the small garden of the house, a small dog would be easier. Even with long walks, maybe a big dog wouldn’t be happy in this small place.”

“I agree, a small one, even a sporty one, would be better for us than a big one. For us and for the dog.”

“I also concluded that I would prefer going to a shelter than to a breeding place. I haven’t nothing against those, but I saw so many sad abandoned dogs on the web... I want to rescue one.” Adam said with conviction.

“I agree on that too. Tomorrow, you’ll be tired after the tattoo but... We could go to a shelter this weekend, if it’s fine for you?”

“Totally fine! I’m so impatient! We should pick a bowl and everything before.”

“There is a shop of pet supplies near the supermarket, we’ll go.”

They spent the evening talking about dogs, and Nigel forgot his fears for a while. 

\- -

“Take more pictures please!”

“But I already took five!”

“I want more. And these ones are blurry. Please, Nigel.”

“Ok, one more.”

“At least three. From different angles.”

Nigel sighed but smiled, not annoyed for real. Adam was very happy with his brand new tattoo and wanted to send pictures to Harlan. Nigel felt sorry for the man for a second, as he was going to receive way too many pictures without having asked. But he was so happy to have successfully tattooed the space raccoon and, more important, so happy that Adam loved it, and he took the pictures without complaining. 

“You should have waited for it to be healed, before sending pictures to Harlan. The skin is never beautiful just after a tattoo, it reddens and swells... It’s not great. And then your skin will peel, and it won’t be beautiful either.”

“I know, you warned me. But I wanted to show him immediately! It will take ten days or even more to be fully healed, and I don’t want to wait before showing him.”

“I’ll take more pictures when it will be healed, then. You could send him these ones as well.”

“I will! I can’t wait. Nigel, I’m truly happy with it. Really. It’s exactly what I wanted, it’s so cute and colorful and even if it had hurt to get it done...”

“And will hurt and itch.”

“Yes, also. Even with that, I’m happy. It couldn’t have been better.” Adam said with a large smile, and he kissed Nigel on the cheek. “And happy to see you getting better. You’re going to be a famous artist and people will come from everywhere to get one of your tattoos.”

“You’re too nice.” Nigel blushed slightly 

“I’m honest.” Adam said, genuinely happy with his raccoon. “I have always trusted you, and I was totally right to.”

\- -

“We could get this dog.” Nigel suggested. 

“You already said that for the three other ones we saw just before.” Adam chuckled. He also liked these dogs, but there was no way they could take that many in their small house, they wouldn’t be comfortable. And the landlord would probably not be very happy about that. 

They were at the shelter since less than an hour, and Nigel and Adam had already fallen in love with too many dogs. The place was crowded on this sunny weekend day and a lot of dogs were happily looking outside of their cages, hoping for the best. Maybe just a walk, maybe a new family, they all had their chance this day. Adam, as usual, was not comfortable with this crowd. But with Nigel’s hand in his and his toughts focused on the dogs, it was ok. 

“But they are all great.” Nigel whined. “Oh look at this one. It looks funny.”

“But it doesn’t want to be the only dog of the family.” Adam answered after reading the little paper on the dog’s cage. We can’t get this one.”

“I didn’t think it would be so hard. It’s a shame the two ones you had seen on their website have been adopted before we got here. Better for them to be adopted as soon as possible, of course. But one of them would have been perfect.”

“We’ll find another perfect one.”

“Hello, maybe I could help you?” Smiled a staff member. “Sorry I didn’t come to speak with you earlier, but we have so many people today!”

“Hi. Yeah, you could help us, I guess.” Nigel answered. “We are looking for a dog, obviously.”

“We also have cats and bunnies and many others.” The staff member chuckled. “So, a dog. Do you have an idea in mind?”

“We are renting a small house, so we can take only one. So... not a dog needing a pack to be happy. And a small dog. Except that... we don’t have anything precise in mind. Just a dog.”

The staff member nodded and after a quick look at a list, led them through the shelter to show them several dogs one by one.

“... this one is here since two weeks only, and this one in the next cage is called Darko and...”

“What did you say?”

“That this one is here since two weeks only. I hope he won’t stay for too long, it’s always better if they find a new family quickly.”

“No, after.” Nigel asked.

“That this little guy is called Darko. But his new owner will probably teach him a new name.”

Nigel knelt next the cage. Darko the dog immediately ran to him and started to lick his fingers through the grid. 

“Way more friendly than the Darko I know.” He commented.

“He seemed to like you” Smiled the staff member. “Let me read his sheet... He is here since six months. Pure breed corgi.”

“A pure breed dog in a shelter? Isn’t it... unusual?” Adam asked after kneeling next to Nigel to reach the dog too.

“A bit unusual indeed, but sadly, it happens. Pure breed or not, a lot of people are getting rid of their dogs, for good or bad reasons. Darko’s previous owner had several dogs, according to the sheet, for contests. But Darko doesn’t have the right features to win a beauty contest, his color scheme, with this dark area on his back, is not what these contests are asking for. So the owner tried to train him for other contests, those where owners give orders to their dogs to follow. But it didn’t go well, apparently.”

“What happened?”

“Darko is too lazy for that. He doesn’t want to learn things, he wants to eat and sleep and play, and that’s all. And he is not comfortable around other dogsn and these contests are often crowded. So his owner dumped him. Too different from what was expected from a corgi: not the right colors, too lazy, to uncomfortable with others. So they dumped him here. Some other people wanted to adopt him, but dropped the idea quickly because of this color problem, or because they already had other dogs.”

“He seems perfect.” Adam whispered.

“We are not planning to take our future dog to any contest or anything. And we don’t care about his colors.” Nigel explained. “And his name... it’s a sign.”

“Maybe you would like to walk him in the park behind? To get to know him a bit?.” The staff member suggested.

Darko the dog, even if he was lazy, was happy to be walked and gladly followed them in the shelter park. They found an almost empty area, without other dogs or people, and took their time to meet Darko.

“He’s gonna be so mad when I’ll tell him we met a dog with the same name as him.” Nigel laughed. 

“Woof!”

“He seems to agree.” Adam answered with a smile. “I’d like to adopt this one, if it’s ok for you. You like the name, he doesn’t want other dogs home and got rejected because he was different... He is perfect.”

\- -

“Are you kidding me?”

“Nope.”

“You two got a dog named like me. A lazy corgi.”

“Yes. Look at him! How fucking cute!” Nigel giggled and showed the dog to the webcam. “Say hello to your uncle, Darko-doggo.”

“Don’t tell him I’m his uncle!”

“Don’t worry, the dog doesn’t understand.” Adam said very seriously. “And... if it really upsets you, we can find him another name.”

“Or you can change yours.”

“Nigel! You can’t say that.” Adam protested. “Darko, do you want us to call the dog differently?”

“Nah, it’s fine. Call him Darko-doggo if you want. He seems to be a cool dog. But I’m not his uncle.”

“I honestly never thought I would have that kind of conversation with you one day.” Nigel laughed. 

“Well, I never thought you would one day get settled in a little cosy house with a cute boyfriend and a small dog. But then, here we are.” Darko snarled. “By the way... have you finally planned you wedding? I know it got delayed with your move, and your new job, Adam. But... where are you now? Still decided?”

“Of course we are.” Adam answered immediately. “And we have started to work on a date. We’ll tell you soon.”

“Life got a bit in our way, but we still are decided.” Nigel completed. “We just need to find a date that would work for everybody, even if we won’t be a lot. I’m so impatient.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want new tattoos too! I didn’t describe the moment where Nigel tattoos Adam because I don’t feel I’m qualified enough to describe that without mistakes. 
> 
> I know nothing about the characteristics of corgis, and if a dark area of Darko-doggo’s back could stop him from taking parts to contests, but considering how complicated these contests seem to be, it doesn’t sound too unrealistic. 
> 
> It’s almost the end of this story, only a few chapters left...


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam comes back home troubled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I’m working on a little bit too much things at the same time!
> 
> Not beta-read

“Adam, are you ok?”

Adam was back home since a few minutes and he was standing in the living room, not moving, not saying a word. He still had his jacket on, and his bag was still hanging on his shoulder. 

“Adam? Is there a problem?”

Nigel started to worry. His Little Star still hadn’t made a move, like if he was totally lost in his own thoughts. He took his hand and tried to guide him to sit on the sofa, but Adam didn’t follow and stayed there, but without removing his hand from Nigel’s.

“Adam, whatever is going on, I’m sure we can deal with it. You can tell me. Let me help you, please.”

“It’s Beth.” Adam muttered after a while. 

“Is there a problem with her?” Nigel asked nicely even if, in his opinion, Beth could be burning in hell that he wouldn’t care at all.

“She called me.”

So, not burning in hell. Sadly.

“What did she say? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I was coming back home from work when she called. She dumped Mike. Or he dumped her, I’m not sure.”

“And? It makes you sad? I have to admit that I really don’t give a single flying fuck about her fucking life.”

“You always swear more when you talk about her.” 

“Oh, yes, maybe. Totally deserved.”

“True. And I don’t care either for Mike.”

“She called just to say that?”

“No. She talked about holidays. I don’t know how, but she got our address. She is coming next week.” Adam sighed. “I said no.”

“Oh course you said no. I don’t want her here either.”

“But she said she already had her flight ticket, and that hotels were expensive. And so, that as an old friend, I should welcome her as my guest. She didn’t talk about you. It’s better this way. She would have said again that I should leave you, and I don’t want to hear that.”

“I don’t want to hear it either. Never. Old friend is not the correct expression. Former friend would fit better, don’t you think?”

“Yes, indeed. I don’t want to have anything to do with her anymore.”

“Good. We don’t have to have her here. She can come in California of course, we can’t stop her from doing that. Or I could, but it would be a bit definitive.” Nigel added after thinking for a moment.

“Please don’t. She is not worth the effort and the risk.”

“Ok. So. She is coming to California. But she won’t come here. You won’t have to see her if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to see her!” Adam yelled and hid his face with his hand. “I don’t want! She breaks everything around me! I don’t want her. She wants us to get separated, she wants to break our lives. I don’t want her here. I don’t want to see her, I don’t want her in our house! I don’t want to pick her up at the airport. I don’t want Darko-doggo to have to deal with her. I don’t want her in ours lives.”

Adam removed his hand from Nigel’s in a swift and shaky move.

“She will break what we have together!”

“Adam, Little Star, it’s ok, I swear...”

“No! It’s not!” Adam yelled again, his whole body wrecked by waves of shaking, tears dripping on his face. He took a few steps away from Nigel and punched the wall in a vague unwanted gesture before dropping on his knees.

“Hey, no, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Nigel said, bending over to try to catch Adam in his arms. “Come here.”

Adam in his panic got scared of Nigel being too close and elbowed him violently in the leg. Nigel took a step back and sighed to not show his anger. Not an anger toward Adam of course, it wasn’t his fault if he was panicking. No, he was angry toward Beth. Why did she have to call? They were happy there, they didn’t need her fucking drama. Where did this bitch get their address?  
But he said nothing. Adam was already deep enough in his panic to not add Nigel’s anger in the mix. He didn’t try to get close again either. Instead, he talked calmly to Adam, to let him get the time he needed.   
After a while, when Adam’s breath slowed down and turned into light hiccups and sniffs. Nigel called Darko-doggo and lightly pushed the corgi in Adam’s direction when he arrived. Adam mechanically started to pet his fur and finally calmed down for good. Nigel carefully came back near him. 

“Are you ok, love?” 

Adam nodded without answering.

“Good. I’m right here with you. I understand your panic. Don’t worry, I’m here. And she is not. And she won’t be. She will not break what we have. We won’t see her. Not at the airport, not here, nowhere. She is not part of your life, of your lives, anymore. Just a bad bitchy memory from the past. I’ll call her back to tell her she can’t come and that it’s not even a question. I’ll find how she got our address and will get sure it won’t happen again. But I promise I won’t kill anybody, even her. Are you ok enough to stay alone a couple of minutes?”

“Woof!”

“Alone with Darko I mean.”

“Yes, it should be ok.” Adam whispered.

“Good. Give me your phone, I’m going to call her immediately. And I’m going to call Harlan too. She won’t bother you anymore. It will be quick, I’ll be right back.”

Adam nodded again and Nigel kissed him on the cheek with a smile. He picked Adam’s phone and left the room, closing the door behind him.   
First, he needed to call Harlan. Not a lot of people knew their address, and Harlan was of course one of them. And the only person who knew both Beth and their address. Nigel sincerely liked Harlan and he couldn’t imagine that this nice man would have given her their address with bad intentions but... better calling. 

“Hi Harlan! No, it’s not Adam, it’s Nigel. Yeah, I’m using his phone. Just a quick question... did you give our address to Beth?”

“Yes, I did, a couple weeks ago.”

“May I ask why?”

“She found one of Adam’s books on her bookshelf, she said. One he forgot from when they were still friends, I don’t know about what it is, she didn’t tell me. And she wanted to send it back. Did she send it?”

“No, she didn’t. And I highly doubt Adam forgot a book at her appartment, we checked and packed all his books before moving. He would have seen it if one of them was missing.”

“Sounds logical. But why did she need your address then? I genuinely believed her...”

“She called Adam today, and she said she was going to come here. In California for holidays, and as his guest to avoid having to pay an hotel.”

“His guest? Not yours too? And... what is this weird story.”

“She probably thinks that Adam and I broke up, because she commanded him to leave me several times. So... his guest, not ours.”

“That’s very rude of her.” Harlan commented.

“She is a bad bitch and I hate her.”

“I think I can understand your point of view.”

“During this phone call, she insisted that Adam had to have her as a guest as an old friend, because hotels are expensive and that she already has her plane ticket for next week.”

“She didn’t ask Adam before? She just said “Hey, I’ll arrive next week” and that’s all?”

“Yeah. She precised he would have to pick her up from the airport.”

“What a...”

“You can insult her, I won’t mind.” Nigel snarled.

“It’s not something I usually do. Listen, I’m just... I’m so sorry. I thought she really wanted to send him a book, I would never have thought she wanted to trick me to get your address, just to guilty-trip Adam into having her as a guest at your home. I’m sorry. I never thought she would act like this.”

“It’s ok. I know you’re a good guy and didn’t mean to do any harm.”

“Thanks. And...is Adam ok?” Harlan asked. 

“He is starting to get better, but it drove him right into a bad meltdown. He is with the dog right now, and I won’t let him alone for too long. I’m going to hang up, call her quickly to make things clear, and I’ll go back to him as soon as possible.”

“Good. I know you’ll always be there for him, you’re a good guy. I’m once again saying I’m sorry. I never thought she would... well, you got it. Take care, Nigel.”

Nigel hung up after saying good bye, and immediately call Beth. He could hear Adam quietly talking to the dog in the next room and he seemed to be fine, but he didn’t want to stay away for too long. 

“Adam!” She enthusiastically answered. “You hung up so fast earlier! What happened?”

“Wrong answer. That’s Adam’s phone, but it’s Nigel talking.”

“Oh.” Nigel could hear the disappointment in her voice. “Why do you have his phone? Did you steal it?”

“I have his phone because I live with him and borrowed it, dumbass. Why would I fucking steal it?”

“Because it’s the kind of things people like you do.”

“You know nothing about people like me, and it’s probably better for you.” He spat. “Now, you fucking listen to me. You tricked Harlan to get our address. You threatened Adam to come here.”

“It was not a threat! Just something friends do. I guess you can’t know that, not a lot of experience with friends, right? Why would I pay for an hotel when my friend lives close?”

“Your former friend.” He corrected. He doesn’t want to have to do anything with you, he doesn’t want you in his life anymore and he clearly told you that. Why did you contact him? Did you just want to hurt him?”

“Of course not! I’m not as bad as you seem to think I am! I just wanted a cheap vacation and thought it could work. I didn’t mean any harm, I’m sincere. I’m sorry he took that badly.”

“You wanting a cheap vacation is not our fucking problem. You’ll take a cab at the airport and pay for a hotel or whatever, like everybody else.”

“But...”

“I haven’t finished. You still act like I don’t exist. Surprise, I’m still here, and for a long time. Adam and I are going to get married soon. Of course you won’t be invited. Just... fuck off, ok?”

“Why is it not Adam telling me that? Why is it you? How can I be sure that he means that too and that you’re not forcing him to not see me?”

“You’re so fucking stupid. He told you he didn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, before we moved. I’m the one calling because your call has hurt him. Now, it’s over. Don’t call him ever again. We won’t pick you up at the airport. You won’t stay here. We won’t see you. Enjoy your life, and leave us alone.”

Nigel hung up after these words, half expecting to have Beth calling back immediately, but the phone stayed silent. Maybe she finally had understood. Nigel was almost proud of him for not having insulted her, or not that much. She was clearly toxic, even if she didn’t mean to hurt Adam and was sorry.   
He took the time to smoke a cigarette to relax and to open the window before returning next to his Little Star. Adam was better now, sitting on the sofa with the dog and trying to find something to watch on TV. Nigel quickly explained him how and why Harlan had given their address to Beth. 

“He was really sorry, he really never thought she would do that.” Nigel concluded.

“Harlan has always been nice. I believe him, he didn’t want to cause any troubles.” After a moment, he added timidly. “And after... Did you call Beth?”

“I did. She won’t come here, we won’t see her, and I don’t think she will ever call you again.”

“By fear of you answering instead of me?”

“Maybe. I insisted a lot to say we didn’t want to see her. But I didn’t insulted her too much, promised.” 

“I wouldn’t have minded.”

“She won’t be a trouble anymore, it’s done. I think she has understood this time.”

“What if she calls again in the future?”

“I’ll answer again. And I’ll be less polite.”

“You’re never really polite. Except with me.” Adam realized.

“Of course. With you, I’m careful. But I swear I could be way less polite with her.”

Adam took a piece of paper from his pocket and smoothed it with his hand. Darko-doggo, thinking it was a new toy, started to wiggle happily and got onto Adam’s lap to lick his face. 

“Ew, no, please! Ok, just a little bit if you want.”

“Give him the paper.” Nigel suggested. “He will play with it and stop licking you.”

“No, it’s important. It’s a list of guests for our wedding. I didn’t include Beth and thought for a while that it was maybe a mistake, considering how short the list is. But after today... I’m sure it was not a mistake. I don’t want her there.”

“I was 110% sure from the very beginning that I didn’t want her at our wedding.”

“You can’t be 110% sure of something. You can’t go over 100%, it’s not logical.”

“She is such a bitch that I fucking can go over.” Nigel laughed. “May I see your list?”

Adam handed him the list and Nigel thanked him. It was indeed very short: Harlan and his girlfriend Ruth, and one of Adam’s coworkers, with their partner.

“I didn’t find any other person to add.” Adam apologized. “I don’t know a lot of people.”

“It’s ok, we don’t have to be a lot of people to celebrate.” Nigel reassured him.

“I guess I could have added Darko, but I thought you would do it.”

“Yeah, of course I’ll invite him. He already told me he would come, when we would have a date and everything. I even asked him to be my best man. I’ll call him tomorrow to tell him for the date.”

“Will you invite somebody else?”

Nigel had thought a lot about this. He had friends, when he was in Romania, but none of them as close as Darko, and he never had news since he had left. More like business partners than friends, Nigel supposed.  
He had also thought about Gabi, but she had her life now, and they hadn’t been in contact since the day he had almost died. He was happy for her that she had a new life and everything, but he didn’t really want to see her again. And she would probably have came with Charlie fucking Coutryman, and there was no way Nigel would let that man get into his life. He had died once because of him, it was enough.   
Here in the US, he didn’t know a lot of people. He would of course never invite anybody from the Stardust Cafe, especially not Darko’s cousin, who was maybe not even alive anymore. Some of his coworkers were ok, but he wasn’t friend with any of them. Pete and his henchmen were out of the equation as well.   
His tattoo parlor was not open since long enough to have regular clients becoming friends, but he was seeing regularly the artist who had tattooed the galaxy on his neck. They had became friends after a while, talking about rude clients, tattoos, dogs and art. 

Beside her and her partner, and of course Darko, Nigel didn’t have anybody else to invite. He scribbled the three names on Adam’s list. 

“So... Harlan, who will be my best man, and Ruth, Linda and her partner, Darko, your tattooist and her partner.” Adam counted. “That’s only seven persons.”

“Nine persons, with us. Even ten, if we count the dog.”

“I’m not sure Darko would love that.”

“Woof!” Darko-doggo happily yapped when he recognized his name.

“That’s a good dog.” Nigel smiled. “But yeah, I was only joking. He will be there of course, but he won’t be on the guests list.”

“Nine persons. Isn’t it... too little, to organize a wedding?”

“Of course not. The minimum, according to the law, is four: the two persons getting married and one witness for each. But except that legal point... there is no minimum or anything. Nine or ninety, it’s not important. And a small number will be better for you, right? And for me too. No crowd, not too much noise... It will be perfect. But... if it’s really bothering you to not have more people, to have a small wedding... I’m ok to wait.” Nigel suggested. It was hurting him to say that. He didn’t want to wait to legally join his life to Adam’s. But if his Little Star wanted to wait, he would wait. Months, years, a life. He would wait for his love.   
“Maybe that in some time, you’ll become friend with other coworkers, or maybe we’ll meet friends at the pets shelter or something.”

“I don’t want to wait, and I’m fine with the small number of guests. I’m just worried to force you to have a small wedding, you who loves parties and that kind of things. Worried that you would regret not having something better. Somebody better.”

“Nobody’s better than you.” Nigel kissed him. “I don’t care for a party, for everything around that. All I care about is to marry you. I don’t care about having more guests, I don’t need more guests, I’ll have you, and you’re all I need.”

“So we don’t wait?” Adam kissed him back.

“We invite our little list of guests. We keep the date we found. We fucking don’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this fic is ending soon... I had to have Beth making a last come back, right ;) ?
> 
> One more chapter to come, and after, this story will be over <3 maybe other little stories in the same universe (if it happens, I’ll make a collection with all of them), but the main part will be over


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is the big day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for the last step of this love story <3 ?
> 
> Not beta-read

**Epilog**

“Are you nervous, Adam?”

“Yes. No. I’m not sure. Is it normal?”

Harlan laughed. “Yes, I think it’s normal. It’s a big day for you, and for Nigel too of course. But don’t worry, I’m sure everything will be ok. All the guests are here, everything is ready and Nigel is getting ready with his loud friend.”

“It’s true that Darko is a bit loud.” Adam chuckled. “But I’m happy to finally meet him. And Nigel seems very happy to see him again.”

“Yes, they both looked very happy, that’s true. Are you ready? We are not late, but better being ready a bit too early than a bit too late.”

“Yes, I think I am. I’m just... very nervous. What if something was going bad?”

“Why would that happen? No, don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” Harlan smiled.

“I hope so. How do I look? I’m not used to this kind of clothes.” Adam said, tugging on his tuxedo jacket.

“You look amazing, it suits you.”

“Thank you. I wouldn’t wear that every day but... for today, it’s fine. Let’s go.”

\- - -

“You seem so damn nervous, Nigel.”

“Nah, I’m not.”

“Liar.” Darko chuckled.

“Yeah. Totally. I’m fucking nervous. I don’t even know why.”

“Because you’re getting married, dumbass. It’s ok, totally normal to be nervous on such a great day. You should smoke, you would feel better.”

“No, I can’t open the window here.”

“And?”

“Adam doesn’t like the smell of cigarette on me, or on my clothes. Better if I wait until we get outside.”

“As you wish. Are you ready? It’s almost time to go.”

“Yeah, I think I am. How do I look?”

“Very hot, I almost regret being straight.”

“Oh come on, Darko! Be serious for a minute.”

“You look very you. Dangerous and sexy. You look great man, don’t worry about that.”

“Thanks. We should go now.”

\- - -

Nigel had said several times to Darko that he wouldn’t cry, because he was strong and all the stupid things Nigel could say when he was moved. But he still let a tear run on this cheek when he saw Adam arriving with Harlan, smiling in his perfect tuxedo. Their guests were all here, even the corgi, all in time like Harlan had promised to Adam, and the sun was shining on the little lake near which the ceremony would take place. 

If he had been very nervous on his way, Adam was now way more relaxed, at his surprise. Just having Nigel next to him was enough for him to feel safe.

The officiary welcomed everybody and started a long and, to be honest, a bit boring, speech about love and marriage. Adam tried to focus on the speech, but his eyes ended on Nigel, just next to him. Adam smiled, feeling so incredibly lucky to be there with the man he loved. He could say for sure that Nigel wasn’t very focused on the speech either, but it was not important. It was the day they were finally getting married, and a few minutes of speech was just a detail.

Finally, the most important part of the ceremony started.

“Nigel, when we met in this cafe, I could never have imagined how far we would go together. I would never have done so much things without you. I know I can trust you, and you make me feel safe. I love you so much, and I want you by my side forever. Nigel, will you marry me?”

“I will.”

“My dear Little Star, I love you to the Moon and back. You are the kindest and smartest person I have ever met. Since we met, you always believed in me, believed I could be someone good. You made me as the man I am now, and I’m so grateful for that. I’m the luckiest man on Earth for having you in my life and I wish to spend all of my life with you. I promise I will always watch the stars with you. Adam, will you marry me?”

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this story has been a long trip! It was supposed to be a short fic, maybe 5k/1 chapter. And look! 68k words and 22 chapters! Almost as long as my second novel XD I never thought I would manage to get this far, let alone have imagined how nice you would all be with me. 
> 
> I’m very moved to post the last chapter, very moved to conclude this story. I think it’s better to stop now than continuing to write chapters without many new elements in them. But it doesn’t mean I’m abandoning Nigel and Adam! If I write other chapters, other little stories about them, I’ll assemble them in a collection, even if the main story is finished. 
> 
> I can’t even start to explain how grateful I am, how happy I am, to know people liked this story. Reading your comments made me stronger these last months, I’m so glad you followed this story with me and loved how I wrote Nigel and Adam in this. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Thank you for having read my work, for your lovely comments, for all the motivation you gave me <3 thank you for everything <3 see you in other fics

**Author's Note:**

> Adam’s triggers (light, noise, smells, crowd) and his reactions in this chapter are based on mines. They are not the reactions of every asperger person, we are all different. I just needed more informations than what is said/shown in the movie and mixed the movie informations with my own.


End file.
